I've Missed These Days: Rose

Laughter along with sunlight spilling through the blinds is what wakes me. Matt and Penny are smiling again. I sit up and stretch.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty. I thought it'd take a kiss from Ben to get you up. And since when do you dance?"

Penny freaks. "You danced with Ben, and Matt knew before me?!"

"I was going to tell you," I say, yawning.

"It'll have to wait. I'm helping my mom shop for the nursery." Her mom is pregnant with twins, and Penny will finally be a sibling. She wants to help plan everything.

"But, we were supposed to watch Pretty in Pink," I say.

"No. We were supposed to finish The Godfather."

"We already saw that one," she says, reminding him.

"There's three," he says.

Her mouth rounds. "You mean Michael gets crazier? After he lied and Neri shut the door on Kay, I knew he went straight Don."

"That's what I'm saying!" He throws up his hands.

"But how do you go from not wanting to be in the family business to a whole Don?"

"He changed when Sonny died," I tell her.

"Noooo, he changed at the hospital." Matt will argue you blue in the face about a mafia film.

We bicker until deciding that it was bound to happen eventually.

"When you've got a family like that, their baggage becomes yours."

Penny is right.

I zone out, and their conversation becomes background noise. I'm reminded of my family drama with Ang, and how we'll be hanging out tonight. We're nowhere near the Corleone family, but I can relate to Michael. He didn't want to be involved, but it happened anyway. That's what you do for family.

They leave and I get dressed for the day. My curls droop from my shower, leaving water spots on my yellow shirt. I throw on my mom jeans and pack a blow pop.

The kitchen is hot and jumping with greens on the stove and something that smells tasty in the crockpot. My grandma lives in here and her room.

"Is there any breakfast left over?" I ask, hugging her from behind. She holds my arms to her chest until I let go.

"Mhmm, go on and get you some."

I heat up the plate she wrapped for me and scarf down cheesy grits, bacon, and eggs. Knowing her, she saved Matt and Penny some also. She loves to feed people.

"I have to run this pot down to the church for Pastor's anniversary tomorrow. I'll be back after that. You're still going with Angie, right?" It's a rhetorical question and we both know it.

"Yes."

"Make sure you keep an eye on her. She's been lying to me lately," she says, wiping down the kitchen counter. "Well, more than usual."

"Granny, you know that I do."

"I know, but try a little harder. She had hickies on her neck, Rose."

Cotton stuffs my mouth. My appetite is ruined. I scrape my plate into the trash, thinking hard before I speak.

"I'm sorry."

I slip the plate into the sink, and help her finish cleaning the kitchen. We make small talk but I hardly pay attention, and she repeats herself a few times.

I'm ten times lighter when I step away. I hate feeling this way about her. She doesn't see the burden, or how it's taken a toll on me. Ang smiles when I open her door, and that makes me feel better too.

Grandma offers to give us a ride, but Ang says her friend will take us there. Wherever there is.

We kick back on the porch steps, waiting for our ride. The sun is relentless after being inside all day. Sitting quietly in the heat gets boring fast.

"It is fish fry plate sale hot today!" I holler, wiping my dripping forehead.

She belly laughs. "What did you say?"

"It's hot girl! I can't take this heat." I toss my hair off my shoulders. "How far is your friend?"

"No one is coming," she says, still smiling.

"What do you mean?"

"I never called anyone. I wanted it to be us today." She rests her chin on her knees, and picks at the grass poking through the walkway.

"You could've mentioned that earlier!"

She shrugs.

I lean back on my palms. "Well, what do you want to do?"

She shrugs again. "You pick."

"How about the beach?" I ask without thinking.

She stops for a moment, then goes back to pulling grass. "No. My period is on."

I'm relieved that she didn't react. "We could walk to Mrs. Bridget's?"

She agrees, and we head down the street. Mrs. Bridget is an old woman in our neighborhood who sells snacks out of her house. Everyone goes there to buy ice cream sandwiches, chips, hot sausages, and other little goodies. She's pretty much a stationary ice cream truck.

I pull out my blow pop. "How much do you have?"

"Five bucks."

That doesn't sound like much, but it can buy you a bag full at Mrs. Bridget's.

"It's been so long since I've walked this way. Do you remember that?" She points to the sidewalk square with our hands imprinted into it.

"Those construction workers were so mad! Andy lied and said they were cool with it."

She gasps. "I almost forgot about Andy! I wonder how he's been?"

"He's in Ohio, last I heard."

"Good for him. Must be nice to get away."

This surprises me. "You want to move?" I ask.

I haven't applied to out of state colleges, because I was sure Ang would stay local. So much of my life revolves around her.

"I want to live anywhere but here."

"Where do you have in mind? Maybe we could apply to the same colleges?" Maybe was thrown in to be polite. Grandma will make sure that we do.

"I haven't thought about college lately. I might take a year."

I nearly spit out my candy. "What?"

We stop walking.

"I don't know. I can't think about that stuff right now. I need a moment, you know?"

We turn onto the candy lady's street.

"I can't take a year off. What about going to school together?"

She laughs, folding her slender arms. "That's Mrs. Dorothy talking."

She's referring to our grandma. My cheeks burn.

"Go wherever you want, Rose. Don't let anyone make you do something," she says, mumbling. Her eyes get watery.

"I don't mind going to school with you."

"That's not the point, and you know it."

We knock on Mrs. Bridget's door, and she yells for us to come in. We enter her small white kitchen. Her house smells like pine sol and old people. Kind of like ours.

"Well, look who decided to pay me a visit!" She's short with dark freckles splattered on her brown face. She's in a long blue sleeping gown, and old slippers. "What can I get you pretty girls today? I swear you look just like your mamma! Both of you."

She's lived here for years, and knows anybody who's ever stepped foot in this neighborhood. With everyone stopping by her house, she's also the hotwire for the latest gossip. Her favorite passing time. Without stepping foot outside, she can know your tea long before you.

We order lilli dillies and hot sausages, giving her a hug goodbye. Lillie dillies are cups of frozen kool aid, perfect for the summer.

"Now don't be a stranger," she says.

"We won't."

We dive into the nostalgic treats. Mmmmm, we moan, laughing at ourselves. We like to squeeze the cups until the flavored ice loosens up, then flip them upside down. You get more flavor that way. Before long, our mouths are stained red.

She stares, smiling warmly. "I miss this."

"Me too."

"Your teeth are red."

"So are yours."

She slaps a hand over her mouth.

We crack jokes on each other, and when we're home Angie plays a song on her phone. It's one that we listened to on repeat as kids.

We kick off our shoes and dance barefoot while cookies bake in the oven. The Notebook is our choice of film as we smush the warm treats into our greedy mouths. Though we've seen it a dozen times, it feels appropriate with everything we've relived today. I never thought we'd have another day like this.