3 Warm and Cold

On the way home, I saw a football ground. Children are playing very energetically. It reminded me of my good old days. I love football, I really want to play again. It really fascinates me. May be if I get up early, I can play for sometime without being seen by others. If its for playing may be I can get up early. I reached home and my turn to get into reality. Ugh! I have to wash my clothes. So tiring. I immediately got into work. Cleaning, washing, drying and all. It nearly took me 2 hrs to complete all the chores. Why am I so tired today? I feel a bit lightheaded too. I need a refreshment, a hot coffee would do, but I don’t have a coffee. Should I go out? I grabbed my purse and went out. I was checking my money and walking and I bumped into someone. I need to stop bumping into people. My head hurts. I think I am gonna fall. I am feeling giddy now. I felt someone catching me before I fall. Slowly I opened my eyes. It's him. His face showed that he was worried and I blacked out.

When I opened my eyes, he was sitting beside me. I don’t how but I was in my room. He also covered me with blanket as I was trying to get up, he helped me up and brought me a glass of water. It was already 8 at night. "Oh dinner, I forgot." As I was scurrying out of my blanket he said "No need to worry, I already prepared dinner with the groceries you bought." "Oh!! I must have said that out loud." I thought to myself. He made some porridge for me. So sweet of him. I ate hesitantly and wondered if he ate. As if he guessed my thoughts, he said "I already finished eating. You eat and rest up.". I smiled and finished my supper. It was really a warm feeling when someone looks after us. There are actually two times when I feel most lonely. One when I don't have company to eat and other when there no one around when I am sick. Second day was more dramatic but I guess some moments were good.

Next morning I prepared two lunch boxes, extra one for him to thank for his help yesterday. Just as I got down the stairs, he was waiting on his bike. I thought "This is the chance to give him his box, giving in college attracts more attention." I scurried down the steps to reach him but he gave me a helmet as soon as I approached him. Why did he give me my helmet? Seeing me puzzled he took the helmet and put it on my head "Hop on. I will give you lift since you are not well." I hopped on but he took my hands and put them around his waist. As I looked at him questioningly he said "I don’t want you to fall from the bike. In case you feel sick again." I am feeling so strange. I can hear my own heart beat. I guess this is normal for him. My mind was so preoccupied that I dint even notice that we reached the college. Oh my God, everyone is staring. I got down hurriedly and tried to go away as soon as possible. He caught me by the arm and pointed towards the helmet. As I was stumbling over the link, he stopped me and removed it so gently as if he was touching something so fragile. My heart went crazy over this. He said that he will come to class after parking the bike. I completely ignored everyone’s mumbling and went to class remembering the bike ride and obviously his care.

I was stopped on the way by the fashionable girl from yesterday. I couldn’t help but smile remembering her declaration. But she took it as if I am mocking her she shouted “Do you know me? Do you know who I am?” I shrugged saying "I don’t know you because I am new here." Her face immediately turned black from anger but she said somehow "I am Jess,. Jessie. I am Ken’s childhood friend." I now I understand where her confidence come from while declaring that he is hers. She completely bleached the colour out of my face by giving me a warning, "If I see you around him again, you’ll have to face the consequences." I am scared now.

I went to class with a sad face. But why am I feeling sad? It was me who wanted to be away from Ken. Why does my heart hurt so much when I hear that form her? I think I am forgetting something. What was it? When I searched in my bag for a book I remembered what I forgot. It was his lunch box. I was so stunned that I forgot to give it to him. While watching the lunch box, I was thinking of a way to give it to him. “Is it for me?” Ken said in an exciting voice. I stuttered over some random words "I ..this.. you.." He took the lunch box and thanked me. I searched around for Jessie hopefully she’s not there. I was relieved. What happened to the warmth I felt yesterday? It's so cold and lonely. Even being in a crowd I am alone.