The fair (1)

Author's note: this chapter is from Seraphina's point of view

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That morning, Aldus found me in the sunroom which is one of my favorite rooms in the mansion. The morning sun hits the glass, spreading the colorful designs over the tall potted plants of unknown origin which are dominating the sunroom, making me feel like I am in an enchanted jungle.

When Aldus arrived, I was attempting to draw Duke. I was so lost in it, that I didn't notice Aldus approaching me. If I saw him, I would close the notebook because my skills are horrible. To make things worse, Aldus didn't approve of the way I was sitting and that brought us back to the topic of tutors.

He mentioned tutors more than once before, but this time he seemed determined to do it.

While working on my breakfast, I asked: "Can my tutors be female?"

I was happy that Aldus agreed. At least I don't need to worry about someone hugging and sniffing me.

As much as I don't like the idea of tutors because they will force a schedule on my otherwise free life, I would love to learn how to dance and move gracefully because sometimes I feel that I have two left feet.

I know that I should be grateful for the opportunity to learn things, but Aldus's imposing attitude makes me feel inadequate. I don't want to disappoint him, but I wonder if I can reach the perfection he is expecting from me.

What was that about etiquette class? Well, I guess that won't hurt. I can learn how posh ladies behave, and it will be up to me to use it when needed. I imagined myself sipping tea while holding a delicate china cup with my pinky finger lifted high up. Yes. I can do that.

I am interested to learn how to draw portraits properly. So far, Duke is visiting me in my dreams and I really want to bring him out, even if it's just on paper. It will make him more real, and maybe I feel less lost.

My dreams are adding bits and pieces into the endless mosaic of my memories, but I am still far from knowing who I was. Why was I in Venice? Was I alone or with someone? And why is no one searching for me?

I am fairly certain that I am from London and that my family does not care about me, and it seems that I don't have many attachments to them.

In my dreams, I see places, streets, shops, but I am unable to see names or addresses and Aldus told me to be patient because it will come to me.

"Mind works at the pace of its own. If you try to force it, it will not work and it will only make you frustrated…", Aldus spoke wisely, but it's easier said than done as I am eager to remember.

Normally, I would bury myself in books in order to distract myself from the fact that I don't know who I was, but today, we had something exciting on the agenda: the fair!

Aldus said that we can spend the whole day in the city if I want. And I want!

After breakfast, I picked a lovely floral summer dress and paired it up with light flat shoes. Maria combed my hair and braided it from the sides to meet in the back like a crown around my head, and I was ready.

"How long until we reach there?", I asked Aldus when we got into the car.

"About half an hour.", Aldus responded.

"Will there be immortals?", I asked in a whisper so that the driver can't hear me.

Aldus gave me the same mysterious look he always does whenever I bring up immortals. "Genoa is one of the oldest cities on Earth. It is continuously populated since 5000 BC. It contains a lot of history."

"I will take that as a 'yes'."

Aldus touched his nose and winked at me. "Smart."

"Is that why you live here?"

"I have several properties that I call home. I usually spend a month or two in one place before I move onto the next one.", Aldus responded.

"When you move, will you take me with you?"

He thought for some time before responding. "My plan is to stay here until you are able to take care of yourself. But if I need to move before that, you will come with me. I don't want to tie you up to myself, but I don't want to leave you on your own if you are not ready. Once you have knowledge and skills to ensure your safety, we can discuss other arrangements."

I nodded at his words. If this talk happened before I met Lazarus, I would suspect that Aldus has some hidden agenda, but I will never forget how helpless and scared I was in the garden with Lazarus, and Aldus came and made me feel safe. Based on the books, there are many different creatures and until I learn about them and about myself, I know that the safest spot for me is next to Aldus.

"Is there a place you would like to visit? Somewhere you wish to travel?" I heard Aldus ask.

I was not sure how to answer this. When I woke up in Aldus's lab, I wanted to leave far away from him, but in time I realized that even if I have that freedom, I have no place to go. Aldus gave me a home and his presence is like a lighthouse that is preventing me from getting lost in the stormy sea. Even without the danger of various creatures, it would be stupid of me to leave his side without knowing who I was.

"Not at this time.", I said honestly. "I want to go to London and confirm that my dreams are more than just random stuff, but not before I remember more details."

"Sure.", he responded curtly, and I noticed that the muscles of his jaw moved.

I didn't think about it so far, but other than the first time we spoke, Aldus never asked me if I remember anything and when I tell him about my dreams it is almost as if he is confirming something he already knows. How come I didn't realize that before?

"Aldus?"

"Hmm?", he hummed while his steel-gray eyes focused on the moving scenery outside.

I braced myself and asked: "You know about my past. Don't you?"

Aldus's face tightened and he responded without looking at me. "I know more than you do."

Suddenly, my heart was pounding in my ears. "Why are you not telling me?"

Aldus let out a long breath and turned to face me. "Because it will be meaningless if you don't remember on your own. How will you confirm if that is your past or something I fed you with? You don't trust your own dreams, why would you trust my words? People lie, and any document, photo, and video can be fabricated to fit the narrative. You need to do this by yourself."

I understood that he will not help me remember and that I am on my own.

Is he afraid that I will leave him? No, that should not be the case. We already established that I am different and that there are many other creatures and that going back to my old life is not an option, so he should not worry that I would return to my family. That leaves me with one option... "Is it that bad?"

He looked at me with an unreadable expression. "Serina, I don't know everything about your past circumstances, but no matter what they were, the only thing that matters is who you are now."

I pressed my lips into a line and turned to look through the window.

So far, whenever Aldus said that my past is not important I took it as him consoling me not to rush, but now I have a feeling that it's a warning. Was I a bad person? A criminal? Maybe it's better if I don't remember.

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