My name is Kafka

My name, Kafka. That's it, Kafka. Not as long as most people's names.

Has brown skin. Long hair, bangs covering the left eye. Twenty years old. Together with my grandmother, I live in Kabaena, southeast Sulawesi, Indonesia. It is a small island separated from the mainland of Sulawesi.

Morning in January. I stood on the terrace of my house. Enjoying the sunrise that licked my entire body. Breathing in the fresh air. I was still sleepy from staying up late last night. However, I was relieved by the beautiful scenery far ahead. A feast for the eyes. Steep hills and dense forests surround the village. To the right, left and front, houses on stilts are lined up in long rows. Made of wood and roofed with thatched leaves. Kabaena Island is cozy and quiet. It's like a piece of heaven that fell to earth, far from the hustle and bustle of the city. But make no mistake, this island is not remote. We already use cellphones. Also, the electricity would go off in the morning until the afternoon. Magnificent schools and markets? Of course there are, but not as grand as in the city.

I turned my gaze towards the highway. Children were playing. Running freely, and looking happy. Even though the road was not asphalt but rough rocks. Without fear of being hit, because motorized vehicles are still few, almost countless. I also saw parents, heading for the garden in the middle of the forest. The men carry machetes. While the women carry a typical Kabaena basket, kompe is the name. Made from woven dry agel leaves. It hangs on the head using a rope made from dried bark, similar to a sling bag.

Suddenly, a woman stopped. Right in front of me. She was covered in a thick layer of powder, similar to a pocong. Typical of Kabaena women going to the garden. I smiled slightly, feeling funny. Instead, she snapped back, yelling loudly.

"You are a man, you should have worked like Mela. She's a girl, but Mela can provide for me and her sister's school fees. Don't just eat and sleep! You useless son of a bitch!"

Instantly the beautiful morning light turned into a lump of dark black charcoal. Lifeless, and meaningless to my life. I wandered around. The men gripped the handles of their machetes until their arm muscles popped out. The women wielded intimidating gazes, full of hatred. They were all like wild animals watching their prey.

I thought to myself. What was wrong with them? I had to smile, then bow respectfully. I wanted to give an answer, but -My cell phone rang. I reached into my pocket. Picked up the phone. 'Ari' was the name of the contact. I pressed the green button.

[Hello,] I greeted.

[Hey! You're not going to college, nor are you working. You should get married to a rich widow right away. That way you can live at ease. Because there's a strong woman to take care of a jobless person like you! You know trash is worth more when it's bought with money]. Ari said without returning my greeting. It had a mocking tone. Then he switched off the call.

I froze without answering. My gaze was bleak, empty. The memory of the mysterious creature who met me last night came back. His voice, flashing through my head,

"You will live in shame, Kafka!"

It was true, the Author existed. He had devised a scenario of torture for me. Hurting without harming my body. Even though it was just a sentence, it was heartbreaking. The pain shattered my world. If this bitterness continues, even if I force myself to follow the flow, over time my mentality will be shaken as well. I beg you readers, whoever you are, to help me. Give Author money to redeem my happiness.

***

One month later ....

The insults didn't stop, they were directed at me more and more. Worse. I couldn't enjoy life in peace.

Misfortune, anxiety and helplessness gnawed at me. The noise of the residents screamed in my head. It rang out all the time. It was as if the diatribe was like a poison that coagulated in the brain. Spreading into the soul, ingrained in the body. I was depressed, emotionally traumatized. Sleepy, hungry, and thirsty, what is it? I don't recognize it anymore. For me, their hatred was like a daily meal that filled me up.

Ah shit! Had I been born rich, I probably would have stuffed their noisy mouths with money. Shut up! Or no, if I had a throne I would make them fall to their knees, begging for mercy. But alas, the reality is the opposite. Can't do anything. It's useless to fantasize if the finances don't support it. All this time, my life depended on my grandmother's plantation. Namely cashews that can be harvested for two months a year. The result is not much, not even enough to fulfill our daily needs.

Arrghh... I couldn't take it anymore. Ran, went into the bathroom. Bend over. Clutching the lip of the pan filled with water. Staring at my wrinkled face is also gloomy. Dark circles were clearly visible at the edges of my eyes. My naked body, much thinner than before. A feeling of self-loathing came over me. I scratched my head. And face roughly. Both my eyeballs wanted to jump out. Grumbling, sobbing.

What was wrong with me?

What had I done wrong for them to hate me to this extent? I just wanted to see the world, but instead they spewed all sorts of abuse right in my face.

Hey, Author! You see! Other than money, what do I have to do for people to like me! Hey Author, answer me! Why are you doing nothing!

Should I die? That way they'll be satisfied and happy to see me die tragically.

I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs. Slamming things. Luckily, my mind rebelled. Don't do it! They'll definitely think I'm crazy. Thankfully, I still had a bit of common sense. I sighed softly. Regulating my emotions.

Suddenly a rumble was heard.

My body stiffened, unable to move. The clinking of water droplets sounded louder. The face of a creepy creature, smiling broadly, appeared from the reflection of the water. Hugging me. Resting its head on my shoulder. The stench of carrion wafted on its breath. My skin crawled with goosebumps. Cold sweat poured out.

"Hay, we meet again, Kafka! Do you want to die or stay alive!" greeted the creature in its distinctive, raspy voice.

"I... I'm ...." I choked. My mind resisted, refused to accept death.

"Don't make Author wait long. Otherwise, he might get angry. If he gets angry, your life will be more painful than this."

"I--"

"Haaa... Why are you hesitating to answer? Do you still want to live even if your body is dying?" The creature brought its mouth close to my ear hole. It exhaled, heavily.

"Because I love this island, even though they all insult me. Is there no other option to end this pain?

"Of course there is." The creature laughed, booming in the bathroom.

"Tell me what it is!"

"Cut out their tongues! So that that boneless hunk of flesh will no longer be as sharp as a dagger." The creature licked my neck. Its tongue was covered in blood.

"N-no! No!" I refused.

"Why, because you think of them?" he guessed again. Then he laughed, "You know, they insult you not because they think of you. It's for leisure. That's right, leisure! I have another idea, what if you fill your free time by killing them? They'll all die at the hands of a kid who they think can't do anything. Hahhhha. Isn't that a very funny joke!"

Unconsciously, my tears fell. Just imagining death, I couldn't bear it. Let alone to kill.

"I-I would never do such a heinous thing. If I were to do it, how different would I be from them. After all, killing is more cruel than insulting someone's flaws." I stammered, softly.

"Fool! Weak! That's what you are, Kafka!" the creature shouted. Its voice, shrill in the ear. Along with the embrace, it broke free. Afterward, the creature disappeared in a flash.

I sat down limply. Leaning against the wooden plank wall. Staring at the thatched roof. Adjusting my roaring breath. Next, I took a shower. Then went back into the bedroom. Wrapping my whole body in a blanket. Hiding from the eyes of the world.

At least, on this bed I could still fantasize. Meeting a beautiful girl. That's right, I've never imagined it before. Suddenly there was a beautiful, fair-skinned girl. Smiling and very cheerful. Came in, broke through the window. Saving me from loneliness. Hahahah... Stop fantasizing! How any girl would be captivated by a useless human like me. I unconsciously closed my eyes. Finally, I fell asleep.

***

Cold... Coldness bites into the skin of my face. My eyelids opened slowly. My consciousness has not fully gathered, dizzy. A faint shadow appeared, sitting in front of me. Immediately, the question struck me. Who is it?

After my consciousness recovered one hundred percent. I realized that she was a beautiful girl. She had long hair. Wearing light blue pants and long sleeves. She was wringing out a wet towel. Red-colored water poured into the pan.

My body, which was lying on the floor, jerked in surprise. I wriggled slowly, then sat up. I move my eyeballs to the right and left corners several times. I see a metal bed, complete with sleeping equipment. And the curtains, as well as the concrete walls. The whole room is pure white. Brightly lit. Unlike my room, it's dark.

"Where is this?"

"At the Kendari provincial hospital," The girl flashed a faint smile. Then she wiped my temples with a towel.

I was asleep in my room earlier. But why am I in this hospital now? After all, it takes 13 hours to get from Kabaena to Kendari. There's no way I was unconscious during the trip. What really happened?