WOULDN’T LET HIM DOWN

Theo's P.O.V

As it hadn't for the past week, he hadn't said a word or come forth the way he should.

He kept himself hidden within us locked himself into a hole deeper than I had the means to pull him from.

The small pulsing buzz that felt like a ray of sunshine on my heart was the only sign of him, the only sign that he hadn't completely fractured under the unfortunate events.

Damon didn't deserve this.

He didn't deserve any of this, he was a good kid.

He was caring, he showed that every day through his actions though they often went unnoticed because of the character he portrayed instead of the phenomenal man he'd grown to be.

He had a heart that barely fit inside his chest, with so much love that'd been slowly snuffed out over the years.

The violence, it'd become a wrecking force that yearned to make him something dark and unworthy.

It wasn't who he was, not truly.

He'd just been nurturing it more than any wolf should have, especially an alpha wolf.

It didn't help that he'd grown up learning that violence equated to strength, a strength that'd help him protect those he cherished.

Because that was all Damon ever wanted to do, protect them, though it didn't often translate in the manner it should've.

Now he was floating in above a deep, oceanic trench that threatened to swallow him whole.

Dangling on a thin thread between becoming the person I knew he truly wanted to be and the one he was groomed to be, the one he'd learned to be.

It was harder for him each day and my aid could only go so far, it was a battle he'd have to fight on his own.

Wilona made that fight easier, essentially effortless with his presence.

When Damon was with Wilona, he didn't feel those pieces of himself that made everything seem so dark all the time, he was light with joy.

Wilona made him better and not only Damon but myself as well. With Will, I knew she'd love me one day in the manner I already loved her.

If she gave us the chance, I knew we could grow a beautiful relationship that would fit both of us.

That is, of course, if he took us back.

I sigh angrily at the way things had unraveled at such a speed, leaving us both flayed open to feel the raw agony of being so distant from our mate.

Things were going so well, so incredibly well, too well I suppose because when it crashed and broke I couldn't stop it.

Not with the news of our family back home, the anxiety of not knowing their state adding to the turmoil.

Now things hurt from all sides and I only had a bunny who didn't like me to fend it off.

Keeping the anger down took its toll, every minute of every day I strained to control it.

The need to hurt and make the emotional pain flow into a physical one was overwhelming, merciless with its demands and it weighed down on me.

But I'd bare it for Damon, knowing he couldn't hold much more before it took him down.

Perhaps you'd feel better with a run - I try once more, knowing he always felt happier when he was on all fours.

Being a wolf was probably the best gift I could offer Damon, and I was forever grateful to Goddess that I could give that to him.

Silence follows.

It worried me immensely that Damon wasn't responding, knowing that both emotional and physical pain that stemmed from great sources of pain could send a wolf spiraling into a deep abyss.

Damon was barely hanging on before Wilona, the loss of her was too much but I needed her to see it wasn't completely the end.

Wilona hadn't rejected us, not entirely. She'd asked for time and space, she'd said that she needed time. I didn't like it, I hated it and hated that she'd even suggest such a thing, but I understood it.

From what I'd observed of Wilona, she didn't seem to open up to many people and seemed to trust even fewer, yet with Damon, she'd stepped out from her fortress and ran to Damon without precaution.

I believe when her brain finally caught up to her heart, it scared her. The day we let her go on her own, probably only furthering and solidifying her already developing qualms.

She was human, after all, she didn't know I existed, didn't know what we truly were, couldn't appreciate her feelings because she couldn't possibly recognize the mate bond.

It was just fucked on all sides.

I try to distract myself from the loneliness and worries by cleaning up the apartment, it didn't matter that I cleaned yesterday, things got dirty overnight.

I wiped the spotless countertops and swept the dustless floor, scrubbed the shining bathtub and rearranged the soaps on three separate occasions.

Hearing the elevator ding, I scrambled from the bathroom to try to talk to Wilona, but by the time I'd managed to open my door, her was already shutting against me.

Damon's light only flickered away at the avoidance, leaving me further in his swirling darkness.

I release a shaky breath as all the hope seeps from my veins, I shut the door once more and make my way to the bed, slumping into it as my own frustrations rose to the surface.

I hadn't laid eyes on Wilona, not properly since I'd taken over. She'd avoided us at all turns and made it clear that when she said space, she meant it.

I'd passed by her place of work on multiple occasions, hoping to see her, but I'd only caught a few glimpses before her boss would come out and chase me away with a broom.

I'd stopped going after that.

Anger threatened to spill its way over me as the worst parts of me casted the blame for all of this onto Damon.

After all, it was he who'd hurt Wilona wasn't it, it was he who let go of his hand when he knew just how important and valuable that connection to her was it. It was because of him that my mate hated me before she even knew who I was.

I cast those haunting thoughts away, setting them to flames immediately before they could fester any further and create a drift between us.

I needed Damon and he needed me, I wouldn't dream of letting our relationship crumble and leave us both more damaged than we knew what to do with.

I loved Damon and I wouldn't let him down.