965. Chapter 965

After Always

Episode 4.23

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I have always owned no Castle. Rating: K Time: See above.

Kate parked in front of the diner where she always met her father and sat for a second, getting her breathing under control and calming her stomach. Her visit to her mother's grave had been especially heart wrenching considering what had happened the night before.

After a minute or two, she got out of her car and made every effort to be the in control detective she always tried to be. Since this would be her father, that would be harder.

"Hello, Katie." Her father rose from the booth and hugged her. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine, Dad."

When they sat, Jim gave her a skeptical look. "And if an alligator was chewing on your legs, would you still say you're fine?"

Kate blushed. Her father knew her too well. Almost as well as….No! She wouldn't think of him. She couldn't. "Okay, you win. I'm not fine. Castle and I had a fight last night. A bad one. He's left me. We aren't…partners anymore."

"That's serious, Katie. What happened?"

Kate told her father about the fight. How Castle had confronted her about her having heard him tell her that he loved her and then told her that he'd been helping a friend of Montgomery's keep her from investigating the murder of Johanna Beckett.

"Dad, he betrayed me. He betrayed me over the most important thing in my life. How can I….How could we ever….." Kate stopped, unable to explain the immensity of the betrayal she felt.

"Then I guess I betrayed you as well." Jim said, to Kate's shock.

She shook her head. "No. It's not possible that you could have been involved in this. Tell me you aren't. Tell me you couldn't do that to me."

"Katie, I had no connection with whatever Rick was doing with Montgomery's friend. But, just before you were shot, I went to see Rick. To talk to him and to try to get him to find some way to get you to walk away from your mother's murder. It looks like we both failed."

Kate sat there stunned for a long minute. "How could you do that to me? Why would you do that to me? To encourage Castle like that?"

"For the same reason that Rick did what he did. Because he loves you, just as I do."

"You're my father. He's not. That's entirely different."

"No." He said, slowly shaking his head. "Love is always the same. Katie, you're all that I have. You know what happened to me when Jo was killed. If I lost you…..If I lost you, it would be the end of me. You must know that."

"Dad, nothing is going to happen to me."

"You can't know that." Jim raised his voice. As people looked at them, he lowered his head and his voice. "You were shot at a funeral with a hundred police around you and the shooter got away. You died, Katie, in the ambulance and again in the operating room. Yes, they brought you back, but you came so close. Rick still has a daughter that he loves and would want to be there for her, but me? What would I have had if you had died, or if you do die?"

"Dad, I can't walk away. This has been my whole life since I was nineteen. I can't just walk away."

"Not even for two men who love you more than life itself?"

She slowly shook her head. "Castle betrayed me. He made a deal for my life, my life, like I was some kind of child who couldn't be trusted to know what's good for her."

"He did? Are you sure?"

"Of course. I was right there when he told me about it."

Kim shook his head. "He said that Roy Montgomery set it up. That Roy had sent some documents to a friend of his, not a friend of Castle's, and then he died for you. He left a widow behind and three children who'll never see their father again. He knew you and he knew who you're up against and he died for you, Kate. He died for you. Are you going to let his death be for nothing?"

"No, I won't. I'll get justice for Roy and his family and for Mom." Kate checked her watch. "I have to get to the precinct, Dad."

"Will you at least see Rick and try to get back together with him?"

Kate rose. "I don't know if we ever were really together."

As she walked away, her father called after her. "Katie, I'm one hundred percent with Rick on this."

When she arrived at the precinct, she went to see Lanie in the ME's office.

"What happened to you, Sweetie?" Lanie asked when she saw the look on Kate's face.

"Castle and I had a fight last night. We're over, if we ever even were."

"What happened, Kate? Tell me.

Kate told her the whole story, starting with Castle telling her he loved her and ending with her conversation with her dad.

"It's not the first time Castle has done this." Lanie commented.

"What? Are you telling me he's kept things from me before and you know about it? How could you?"

"Not that, Kate. But Castle's "betrayed" you before. He looked into your mom's murder and you decided it was all over between you two. If he'd done what you thought you wanted and either never looked into her death, or left you after you said you were done, no one would have ever learned about the other murders about the time your mom died. And without that, you never would have connected Jack Coonan's death to your mom's. Maybe you would have connected Jack Coonan's murder to Dick Coonan, and maybe not. And maybe Dick Coonan would have ratted out everyone who he dealt heroin with and gone straight into witsec with no punishment at all. And you'd be sitting here today with no idea who killed your mom. Sweetie, maybe Castle knows what you need better than you do?"

Kate shook her head. "No. I need to find out who killed my mom, and get justice for her."

"And you think you can do that better without Castle than with him? You think you're going to be happier without him? You're not."

"Lanie, this is not about being happy. It's about justice. It's about my mom and about what I need."

"At least talk to Castle and try to get back together with him. He's too important to you to let him get away. And once he accepts that you're going after this dragon, he'll help. And you'll need all the help you can get."

"How can he help if he's hiding evidence from me?" Kate snapped.

"I've seen you before Castle and with Castle, you do to need…."

Kate glanced at her watch. "I need to get upstairs and see if Ryan and Espo have anything." She walked out of Lanie's office as fast as she could.

However, several times that day, the conversations she'd had with Castle, her dad and Lanie came unbidden to her mind. As much as she tried, she couldn't get them out of her mind.

The prior twenty four hours had been among the worst in her life. First the fight with Castle, then the arguments with her dad and her best friend, her near death experience and her resignation. But now, cuddling in Castle's bed with him was one of the best things in her life.

They had made love twice. She smiled at the thought. It hadn't been just fucking, or just sex, they had made love and she was ecstatic. She felt him run his hand through her hair and swung herself up to lie on top of him.

"Why didn't you tell me that my dad had come to see you before I was shot?"

"Telling you would have defeated the purpose of him coming to see me."

She shook her head, causing her boobs to rub against his chest. "No, when we….You know. The other night?"

"When we fought, you mean? You weren't really in listening mode, Beckett."

"Castle, I'm going to try to listen more. And talk more. Dr. Burke has been a huge help to me in figuring everything that's gone wrong in my life since I was nineteen. But I'm still a work in progress. You've always been good to me, even when I didn't deserve it. Please don't give up on me when I'm so close."

"Always."

He ran his hand over her back. "Another round?"

She laughed. "Always."

Author's note: I have a few vague ideas for more After….stories, but nothing solid yet. Meanwhile I'm still writing on After Captain Kate and the Sorceress, and Game, Set and match.