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845. Chapter 845

After Always

Episode 4.23

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: I always wish I owned Castle, but I don't. Rating: K+ Time: See above.

"Yeah, you're right, Kate. It's your life. You can throw it away if you want but I'm not going to stick around and watch you so this is, um… over. I'm done." Castle took a step away and then turned to face her, obviously becoming angry. "I should have known from the beginning that there was no room in your heart for anything but your crusade to solve your mother's murder. There was certainly never any room for me. You've never seen me as anything else but a tool to help your closure rate and find your mother's murder. Well, I'm done playing the fool for you, Detective. You're on your own, which is what you've always wanted. The sad part is that I'll never stop loving you." He turned and walked to her door.

She was in shock. As angry as she was at him, she knew he was angrier at her. "Castle!"

He slowed for a second, then headed for her door, gripping the doorknob and opening it. He heard her running and felt her arms go around him. "Don't go. Please don't leave me. Please."

He sagged against the door. "Why? It's obvious…"

"No! It's not obvious. If you think I don't care for you, care for you more than any other man I've ever known, you're wrong." She reached around his waist and locked her arms around him, unwilling to let him go. "I've told you I'm in therapy. It's not just about my shooting. We've gone over everything that's made my life such a fucked up mess since my mom died and my dad crawled into a bottle for five years. We've talked about us…"

"I thought there was no us." He said harshly.

"There is and you know it. You're all I have now, Castle. You're my only chance for a normal life with a man I love. If I lose you, I have nothing. Solving my mom's death can never take your place."

He turned around and looked down at her. She put her arms around his neck and kissed him, but he didn't respond. She rested her head on his chest. "We'll go to Gates tomorrow and tell her that the Costas killing is connected to my shooting. She'll take me off the case and if I tell her that I think my shooting is related to my mom's she'll make sure I never touch that either. I promise you. We'll go together. Okay?"

He nodded imperceptibly. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I was afraid. Afraid you didn't love me. Afraid you wouldn't stay in love with me. Afraid that after everything that's gone wrong in my life that this would go wrong, too. I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She kissed him again and this time he kissed her back. She pushed him back against the door and began taking his shirt off. He began unbuttoning her blouse. When he saw her scar, he leaned down and kissed it.

An hour later they were laying tired and sated on her bed. Kate pulled the sheet off of them and took his hand and ran it from her head to the top of her thighs. "Castle, this is yours. Not just my body, but my heart, my mind and my soul. It's all yours, lover. Yours. What do you want to do?" She said, smiling.

"What I've always wanted to do. I want to make you happy. And keep you safe. You deserve to be happy and safe."

She giggled. "You've made a good start."

They were interrupted when his phone rang. "Damn!" He reached for the phone to decline the call.

She put her hand on his. "Check and see who it is. It could be Alexis or Martha. It might be important."

Castle sighed, kissed the top of her right boob and looked at the caller ID. "It's blocked." He was about to decline it when he thought of something. "It could be the guy. Montgomery's friend." He accepted the call. "Castle."

"Mr. Castle, I told you what would happen if Detective Beckett came near her mother's case."

"Look, I've taken care of that. You don't have to…"

"They know she's looking into the case. As far as they're concerned, the deal is off. I can't help her anymore."

"Wait. How can you know, or anyone else know…."

"I have my sources, Mr. Castle, and so do they."

The call ended.

Castle shook his head. "So much for going to Gates. It's too late."

"I'm sorry, Castle. Damn it."

"It's not your fault, Beckett. You're a homicide cop. You investigate homicides."

She ran her hand down his chest. "One good thing. We don't have to get up first thing in the morning to rush into see Gates. We could be a little late."

"Care to go for a lot late?"

She laughed.

The next day, Beckett, Esposito and Ryan find Cole Maddox's room. They enter with guns drawn, except for Castle. Finding the room clear, they then find Montgomery's files.

"What was he looking for?" Espo asks.

"Not what, who." Beckett replies, taking Montgomery's wedding album. "We need to call for back up."

Before she can get to the door, Cole Maddox burst in and knocks her to the ground. He turns to Espo to quickly dispose of him. But as he's fighting Esposito, Castle tried to grab him. Maddox hits Castle in the stomach and as Espo is knocked out, Maddox kicks Castle in the head.

Beckett staggers to her feet and finds her gun. She gets up just as Maddox runs out the door. She starts after him, but see's Castle on the floor, bleeding from a head wound. "Oh, no. Not now. Not after all we've been through to get together." She kneels by Castle who slowly opens his eyes.

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?" Kate is running her hands over his head, looking for a wound.

"He kicked me in the head I think. I have a hell of a headache, but think I'll be okay. Where is he?"

"He got away."

"Damn! We just about had him, too. Sorry, Beckett."

She smiles down at him. "It's okay. I don't care as long as we're together."

"You're together?" Espo says woozily as he starts to get up.

"Yes. And don't tell anyone about this. If Gates finds out about this, she'll use it to get rid of Castle."

"You're damned right I'll get rid of Mr. Castle." Gates says from the doorway, surrounded by uniforms and Ryan. "What the hell have you done, Detective?"

Once back at the 12th precinct, Beckett, Esposito and Castle try to explain what happened, each claiming to be totally responsible for what happened.

Gates stares at them. "Mr. Castle, I don't care what the mayor thinks, you are out of here, permanently. As for you two, I'm putting you on administrative leave effective immediately. Hand over your badges and guns."

Epso takes off his badge from around his neck and puts it and his weapon on her desk. Beckett puts her gun on her desk and holds her badge, looking at it. She tosses it on her desk. "Keep it. I resign." She takes Castle's hand. "Take me home, Rick."

She clears out her desk as he watches. Then he calls his car service for a ride. Once in the back of the car, she leans against him. "I need to go back to my place and put these away. You'll be with Alexis tonight so I'll come over later, okay?"

"No. You're still in danger. I'm not going to leave you. Stay with me. Hell, move in with me. Beckett, please. I'm terrified of what might happen to you if you're out of my sight for a second."

She kissed his cheek. "You talked me into it."

Once in her apartment, she went to the closet, packed an overnight bag and pulled out two pistols. "I have concealed carry permits for these." She said, handing him a pistol. "You ready?"

He put the weapon in his jacket pocket. "What are you going to do now? You're not a cop."

She looks very serious. "Maybe I'll try to be happy. Know anyone who can help with that?"

"I know a guy."

Kate laughed. "Of course you do."