844. Chapter 844

After Undead Again

Episode 4.22

By

UCSBdad

Disclaimer: If you think I own Castle, you're dead wrong. Rating: K Time: See above.

"Can you hand me my ear, pal?" He asked. "It fell off."

Ryan and Esposito looked at each other. Neither wanted to touch the ear, but someone had to. Finally, Ryan bent down, picked up the ear gingerly and handed it back.

"Thanks." He said and stumbled off.

"I can't believe it, bro. Zombies having a parade in New York City? It's unreal."

"They don't like to be called zombies, Detective Esposito." Alexis Castle said primly. "You should call them Undead Americans. The use of the term zombie is considered abusive, like other ethnic and cultural slurs."

Espo nodded. "Us Spicks and Micks will try to remember that."

Alexis walked away, shaking her head.

"The march is getting started." Ryan said. A zombie, er, Undead American band began to play tunelessly and many waved signs and banners: Political Rights for All; The Cemeteries Do Vote; So We're Dead. Deal With It."

"At least it's not as bad as what Castle thought was going to happen. None of these people eat brains or turn others into zombies. They're just a bunch of people who used to be dead up to eighteen months ago and now are alive. Sort of. And somewhat decayed."

"I wish I knew what caused this, bro. It's seriously freaking me out. All of a sudden dead people start popping up in graveyards all over the East Coast. And then just as quickly, it stops. I bet the government knows more than they're letting on."

"I wish they'd do more about the mess this has made." Ryan said. "My Aunt Bridget died a year ago and my cousin Dave and his family moves into her old house. And then one day she shows up and wants to move back in. Dave shows her the will and her death certificate and Bridget just laughs. Says she's here, so what if the Medical Examiner called her dead. Obviously he was wrong. And since she's family, Dave has to let her stay, but it creeps out the whole family. But other people are suing and the courts have no idea what to do."

Esposito's phone rang. He answered and put it on speaker. "Yes, Captain?"

"Is the march starting?" Captain Kate Beckett asked.

"Affirmative. You can hear the band and some of the chants." Espo held the phone out so she could hear them.

"Hey, hey. Ho, ho. We ain't gonna be dead no mo."

They were interrupted by an unholy noise.

"Espo? What's that?"

"It's the Ungrateful Dead. I have no idea what they're trying to play, but it's loud and bad."

"Okay, keep me informed."

"Guys?" Castle broke in. "Is anything, um, you know, odd, going on there?"

Espo laughed. "No, Castle, these are as un-zombie like people as you'd ever want to meet. Not a brain eater in the crowd."

"Okay, well, keep an eye out."

The march hadn't shambled for more than a hundred yards when Ryan and Espo heard the sound of gunshots. They took off running and found a man lying dead, again, with two large caliber bullet wounds to the head. Witnesses were confused and there were no traffic cams or security cams in the area.

"What's the cause of death, Lanie?" Kate asked.

"Two gunshot wounds to the head. The slugs I recovered are .45s. The deceased is Martin Wells. Mr. Wells died eight months ago of a myocardial infarction. Came back about five weeks ago and died again today. As far as we know, he'll stay dead this time. Damage to the brain seems to be irreversible. Of course, we have no idea what caused them to come back to life in the first place, so maybe he will come back."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah! Some woman has filed for a court order to stop me from doing an autopsy on her dead husband in case he comes back. She doesn't want him "all messed up", or so she says. If I autopsy anyone in the future will I have to worry about getting sued for assault?"

Kate and Rick both shook their heads. "Just do your job until someone tells you different."

The next day Wells' phones and financials came in and they got a lead. "Captain, look at this." Ryan said, coming into Kate's office. "Wells originally died without a will. His nephew Roger Wells inherited some twenty five million dollars, a brownstone on Central Park, a condo in Miami and a nice little place in Aspen for your basic ski weekends. When Martin Wells came back, he wanted his stuff back. Martin refused, so the uncle has filed suit. And, he went to his lawyer to have a new will made that cut Roger off completely. He was supposed to sign the new will next Monday. That sounds like motive to me."

"Me, too." Kate said. "Want to go see Mr. Roger Wells, Castle?"

Rick smiled at her. "I always want to follow you. This is going to make a great Nikki Heat."

"I hope you aren't planning on making Nikki a zombie."

"Please. Undead American is the preferred term. And Nikki will stay very much alive. And very athletic in bed."

Kate had no choice but to roll her eyes.

When they arrived at Mr. Wells' house they found he had three attorneys, three doctors and a medical ethicist with him. While not admitting that Mr. Wells was in any way connected to his uncle's second demise, they presented what Kate thought was a suspiciously well thought out legal and medical case for there being no way that Mr. Martin Wells had been declared dead and had been in that state for months and then came back to life. Something had come back to life apparently in Wells' body but his lawyers argued that whatever or whoever it was, was not Martin Wells.

"Even if that's true, "Kate said, "someone still killed a living, sentient human being. Even if he wasn't Martin Wells, I still have a John Doe homicide."

"Do you, Captain?" One of the lawyer's said with a smile. "If it wasn't Martin Wells, then prove that what was shot was human and not the equivalent of a dog, that is, property. I don't think there's any case law on this and neither the New York Legislature nor Congress has acted on the matter. Prove that what's dead isn't just some oddly engineered microbes inhabiting Martin Wells' dead body."

Kate spent most of the day on the phone with the DA, and got nowhere. Finally Kate slammed down her phone. "Damn it, Castle. Not one of the people in the DA's office, not even the DA himself wants to make a decision on this and say what happened is or isn't murder. Or even a crime. Even if we find evidence that Wells shot his uncle, I don't even know if I can arrest him for anything worse than discharging a firearm in the city. This sucks." Kate grumped.

"It just got a little bit less sucky." Ryan said, sticking his head in her office with Esposito right behind him.

"How?" Both Kate and Rick asked.

"Roger Wells was killed by a drunk driver last night. And here's the kicker."

Both Castles looked at him. "Well?"

"His wife has requested he be cremated."