31. Chapter 31

Before anything else, I'd like to direct anybody who hasn't already seen it to my buddy AberrantScript's new story, Successful Siblings Sunbathing Session. It's an official-ish lewd which sort of broadly exists in the Aces Wild canon. He asked if he could write a lewd using what I've already established here in Aces, I gave him my blessing, and it honestly turned out pretty fantastic. It's a SamxLunaxLincoln thing, and if you've enjoyed the dynamic I've given the three in this story, I'm fairly confident you'll enjoy his story. Here's hoping he decides to grace us with more of that good stuff in the future. In fact, half the reason I got this chapter out now was so that he'd have more toys to play with. Keep up the good work dude :)

Mr. Haziq: It's just a blending (get it? Because COFFEE!) of Folgers and Incest. That's the joke. I think you gave me too much credit on that one :)

Onee-san...

In a rarely visited room of the Loud House, Sam Sharp and Luna Loud sat in front of what appeared to be a viewing screen straight out of an old science fiction movie. The former wearing an enormous grin on her face, the latter blushing heavily with embarrassment and watching ths spectacle through fingers cross-crossed in front of her face. Nearby stood an extremely exasperated looking Lisa Loud.

"That's enough of that." The young scientist announced, shutting off the screen with a small remote in her hand, the resulting groans of disappointment from Sam nearly drowning out the much quieter groan of disappointment from Luna.

"So that is what would happen if the two of you attempted to..." She rolled her eyes. "...seduce Lincoln while wearing swimwear. Never has there been a script that was more hackneyed or aberrant in nature. Are we done here?"

Sam adopted a contemplative pose, almost Leni-like in nature. "Question! If this is supposed to be a theoretical look at what could happpen, why are my boobs so much smaller?" She hoisted her very respectable c-cup breasts for emphasis.

Lisa glared at the blonde. "...Sunspots." She said, flatly, in a tone that did not invite further questioning.

"And I will remind you both again, that my prototype 'What If Machine' is not intended to be used for viewing pornography." She added acerbicly. "Now will you both leave so I can get back to work?"

"Come on Sam" Luna said as she climbed to her feet. "Little bro's gonna be home soon anyway, and then its game time."

"Oh, oh!" Sam shouted waving her arm in the air. "I have one more thing I wanna see."

"And what might that be?" Lisa asked through gritted teeth.

"I wanna see what would happen if I was like, fifty feet tall!" Sam announced, holding her arms up as far as she could manage.

Silence fell upon the room, save for the grinding of Lisa's teeth.

"Luna..." she growled. "Remove her from my sight this instant. Or I will deploy the Pain Bots."

"We've leaving, Sam. Now!"

"Aw."

Lincoln sat at what had become his usual spot at Gus', a stool pulled up against the front counter. The restaurant slash arcade had become something of a haven for him when he needed a quiet space to work, and the jingles, explosions and sirens of the nearby arcade machines were downright mouse-like compared to the ambient noise of home. He wasn't planning on staying long, he just needed to put the finishing touches on the first part of his campaign, and then he'd be ready to run his sisters (and Sam) through the most super-heroingest game of their lives!

"H-hey Linc." Came a familiar voice.

"Hey yourself, Carol." He returned the greeting, not looking up from his work. He often did this when he came down to work on his comic, and Carol had long since accepted that it was not out of rudeness, but out of a desire to maintain his artistic focus. It wouldn't be much longer.

"So I saw that commercial..."

Lincoln sighed. "Everyone keeps asking about that. We're not dating."

"A-are you sure? Because—"

"The stage direction said I had to plant the bow on her chest!" Lincoln growled, finally looking up from his work. "It's not my fault that Sam has a lot...of..." He trailed off as he took in the sight before him.

It was certainly Carol, and all the things he'd come to associate with her. Tall. Blonde. Shapely. Dazzling. But there was something about her hair. While Carol normally had a goodly amount of hair, it now appeared to be...redistributed, somewhat. Where it normally trailed down her back, it was now gathered around her head, giving her a nice bunch of brilliant, blonde locks gathered around her face. It actually kind of made her look like...

"Lori." He wheezed.

"Oh, yeah." Yep, definitely Carol's voice. She reached up adjusted her mane, seemingly self-conscious. "I just wanted to try out something new. Do you like it."

"I-it looks alright." He replied, trying to keep his voice level, and desperately trying to avoid thinking about why seeing such an amazing facsimile of his oldest sister was causing his heart to hammer in his chest the way it was.

Carol stared at him for a few moments longer, seemingly gauging his reaction. Then, without warning she yanked off her...hair?

Lincoln blinked in surprise as Carol's usual long blonde locks splayed out and arranged themselves in their usual position, running down her back and slightly to the right. A Lori wig. How...strange. But at least he was calming down now...which carried its own disturbing implications.

"Hmm." Carol said at last, seemingly not finding what she was looking for. She bent down and stowed the wig somewhere underneath the counter.

"Keep it together." Lincoln murmurered to himself. "You're supposed to be past this..."

"What was that, Linc?" Carol asked, popping up in front of him.

"N-nothing!" Lincoln resumed his work as nonchalantly as possible.

"Wow. This is a lot of stuff." Carol observed, peering at the stacks of notes he'd surrounded himself with.

"Yeah." He nodded absentmindedly. "It's not an especially complicated story, I didn't want to overwhelm the girls in their first campaign. But you know my sisters. And Sam. They have a tendency to..."

"Follow their own lead?" Carol supplied diplomatically.

"To put it nicely." He agreed, nodding again. "But it'd be more apt to say they very likely to go completely off the rails. Like, immediately."

"That's what all this is for." Lincoln proudly slapped the rather daunting pile of paperwork he'd produced. "I've meticulously worked out every conceivable decision the girls could possible make for any given situation, and come up with appropriate countermeasures. There's nothing those girls could possibly do to surprise me."

"Well that doesn't in any way sound like an invitation for fate to screw with you." Carol quipped.

"Don't jinx me." Lincoln shared a grin with the older girl before packing up his stuff. "Alright, I'm off."

"Call me later and let me kow how it went?"

"You know it. Later Carol!"

Carol Pingrey watched the younger boy depart, frowning slighrtly. She had watched that commercial, and she hadn't especially liked what she'd seen. Lincoln was great, of course, utterly adoerable in his role as the younger brother. But there were things about his interaction with the Sharp girl, both scripted and unscripted, that made her feel, uneasy.

She stared at the Lori wig she'd put together on a whim, and replayed Lincoln's reaction to her wearing it in her mind. It wasn't enough, she needed more data.

"Next time I'll try the Luan wig." She murmurered to herself.

"Question." Lynn announced, squirming in her seat.

"Go ahead Lynn." Lincoln said, running through his check list one last time.

"I get that all this...stuff, is important somehow." Lynn waved her arm at the heavily laden table that lay before her and her siblings (and Sam). Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy, Sam, and herself sat arrayed on one end of the Loud family's dining room table, while Lincoln sat across from them all by himself. Sitting in front of each girl was a pencil, several sheets of scratch paper, something Lincoln had called a "character sheet", and a small pile of dice, each set color coded to correspond to a different girl, which even Lynn had to admit was a a nice touch. Lincoln himself sat behind a large plastic fold out screen, surrounded by the same terrifying pile of gaming materials as the previous time she'd seen him play, though now it had grown considerably larger in volume.

"But why do we have to wear these costumes?" She self consciously tugged at her leotard, which was just as revealing as the last time she'd worn it.

"We're playing a super hero game." He replied. "I thought it'd be fun if we all dressed the part."

And they had. Lynn and her sisters had once again donned their Full House Gang outfits, now joined by Lucy and Luan, similarly attired as their own alter-egos. Lincoln, of course, had assumed the role of Ace. Not that she minded. Lynn wasn't sure if her condition was worsening, or if all the exposure to this nerd stuff was starting to have an effect on her, but Lincoln looked good in that outfit.

"I-I get that" She grumbled, jerking her mind back from the perilous path it had been about to go down. "But could I at least wear some pants?"

"I told you Lynn, superheroes don't wear pants!" Leni chirped from her spot further down ther table. Lynn sighed, and held up her hands in a sign of surrender. There were some things that the normally easy going Loud just refused to budge on, and for whatever reason this was one of them.

"Anyone else?" Lincoln asked, looking around at his players. "Luan? Nothing to say?"

"Nah." The family jokester shrugged. "I've got nothing."

"You sure?" He asked dryly.

"Absolutely." Luan gave an exaggerated nod. "But if I come up with something, you'll just have to...deal with it." A chorus of groans resounded from around the table.

"Right." Lincoln said rolling his eyes. "Now that we've got that out of the way, we can get started."

He looked around at the assembled girls. "But first, I just want to thank you guys for giving this a chance. I know it looks kind of daunting, but it's nowhere near as complicated as you think it is. Trust me, you guys are going to have a blast."

Now it was Lynn's turn to roll her eyes, though she did so while smiling. Typical cornball sentiment from her little bro. It's be annoying if it wasn't so darn infectious. Maybe this wouldn't be such a slog after all.

"Alright." Lincoln began. "As you can see from your character sheets, you are the Full House Gang. High Card, Strong Suit, Nightclub, Eight of Spades, Joker, Elev-"

"Leni" interjected the girl in question.

"Right." Lincoln chuckled at her insistence on that part. "Leni of Hearts, and your newest member, the Card Sharp."

Sam let out a short, enthusiastic "Whoop!", eliciting a chuckle from the white haired boy.

"You group has been summoned to the Fortress of Solitaire." He continued, producing a small handful of figurines from a nearby box. Upon closer inspection, Lynn was surprised to find that each bore a surprising degree of likeness to her and her sisters (and Sam).

"Your contact..." He flourished dramatically. "The one and only Ace Savvy." As before, Lincoln produced another figurine, this time bnearing his own likeness.

"It's a tiny Linky!" Leni squeaked, waving her arms in excitement, prompting a round of giggles from the table.

"Now..." Lincoln continued once the moment of mirth had passed, "The reason your here is..."

"I'm making a seduction roll on Ace!" Sam announced, flinging one of her dice towards the pale haired boy.

"Sam, you can't," Lincoln was cut off as a number of identical dice were rolled his way. Purple, blue, black, yellow, and red (cough).

"Gah!" Lincoln squawked, ducking as a final, teal die was launched his way, so forcefully that it became lodged within the wall behind him.

"Did I win?" Leni asked innocently.

Lincoln eyed the older girl's die, which was looking more and more like a new permanent fixture of the house.

"I think we need to take five." He said.

Thankfully, foreseeing...well not this exactly, but situations like this, Lincoln had made sure to buy a few extra sets of dice, just in case, and a few minutes later they were ready to go again.

"I literally don't know what that even was." Lori piped up.

"Nothing." Lincoln said flatly, giving Sam a sidelong glance. "And for future reference, nobody makes any more skill checks without my say so."

"What about my roll?" Sam asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

"...So as I was saying." Lincoln went on, flatly ignoring the Sharp girl. "Ace has called your group to deal with a...situation that has arisen." He took a deep breath, as he readied his carefully prepared speech.

"Alright girls." Lincoln said, shuffling through his notes. "Thanks to Spade's sleuthing, High Card's impeccable driving skills, and that thing Joker did with the rubber chicken...

"I bet they called fowl on that one!"

Lincoln shook his head in bemusement. "You've managed to track the illegal chemical shipments to a nondescript warehouse at the edge of the city."

"You know, I never thought I'd say this, but this is actually kind of fun." Lori opined. The subsequent murmurs of agreement from the rest of the girls caused Lincoln's heart to swell with pride. It was working.

"A-alright." He said, trying to disguise the emotion in his voice with a short cough. "How do you guys want to handle this?"

"We should park the van a little ways away from the site." Luan suggested. "No point in spoiling the surprise this early." Lincoln looked to Lori, who nodded her agreement.

"While they're doing that, I'll hop out and take a look around." Said Lucy.

"Give me a hide in shadows check." Lincoln replied "Shouldn't be too hard with your stats."

Lucy did as instructed. "That's a 16 without modifiers."

"That'll do it." Lincoln said, waving his hand dismissively. "Spade's able to scout out the perimeter with little difficulty. She's fairly confident that she counts 10 guards patrolling the outside of the warehouse. Not much in the way of armor, pretty much just ski masks, leather jackets, things of that nature, but they are packing automatic weapons."

"What about the interior?" Lucy asked.

"All the entrances and exits you can see are much more heavily guarded. You can try to sneak in, but it's going to require a substantially more difficult skill check to avoid detection."

Lucy looked to the other girls.

"Come on back to the group, Luce." Lynn suggested. "Looks like we're dealing with a bunch of thugs, how hard could this be?"

"Why didn't you use the door, Lynn?" Luna snarled, letting lose the die she'd been rolling in one hand. "We're sitting ducks out here!"

"I wanted to make a dramatic entrance!" Lynn retorted. "Besides, how was I supposed to know this wall would be so friggin tough?"

"They reinforced the structure for pretty much this exact kind of thing." Lincoln interjected. "Even so, Strong Suit's super strength should have made it child's play to bust through that wall. You're just rolling garbage."

"H-hey! It's not my fault my dice are cursed!" Lincoln suppressed a chuckle as Lynn glared at the cause of her latest failure. Seven consecutive 1's had to be some kind of record.

"Okay Luna, your sonic blast miraculously manages to deflect the RPG without detonating it. But your guitar's out of juice, and its going to take you a full round to switch out the power pack."

"Anyone able to cover me?" Luna asked squinting at the battle board, trying to work out where her teammates characters were supposed to be in relation to hers.

"Oh! Oh!" Leni squeaked excitedly. "I can! Linky, I'm going to use my fib...fiberb...fibrubo..."

"Fibrokinesis." Lincoln smoothly interjected.

"Yeah." Leni nodded. "That. I'm gonna use that thingy to turn my scarf into a stylish shield for Luna. And..."

Leni consulted her character sheet. "...I'm going to use...two of my...points? Yeah, two of my points to make it totes protecty."

"Alright. Leni flings her scarf in front of Nightclub, after which it contorts itself into a protective barricade."

"Are Lucy and I in position yet?" Sam asked.

"Spade and Card are each moving at half speed, so they'll need another turn before they can flank that position." Lincoln replied. "But the thug with the launcher is going to need another turn to reload anyway, so you're probably fine."

"W-where was I going again?" Lori asked, flustered.

"Move your figure over there, Lori." Luan pointed to a space not too far away from High Card's current position, and the eldest Loud sibling did so.

"That takes care of all your turns." Lincoln consulted his notes. "The thugs chasing Lori are up next. Seeing her duck into that alcove, they decide to follow her. Unfortunately for them, they fail to see the exploding whoopee cushions Luan set up." He shook his head in amusement. "I cant believe that worked."

"There must be a gas leak somewhere." Luan snarked, waggling her eyebrows.

"Lets see. Heavy ordinance guy is still reloading...oh, right." He turned to Lynn. "Good news Lynn, your surprisingly wimpy blows ("Hey!") finally managed to weaken that wall enough that it collapses under its own weight."

"Yes!" Lynn crowed, pumping one fist in the air.

"Too bad you're now left completely exposed to the six rifle toting guys who were hiding behind it." Lincoln didn't even bother hiding his smirk as he pulled a rather large handful of dice from a nearby container.

"Oh come on!" Lynn protested

"Relax. Strong Suit's got enhanced durability, and all your costumes include a ballistic weave by default." Lincoln tried to reassure her. Suddenly he paused, as if remembering something, and checked his notes.

"Whoops." He said, chuckling to himself. "Silly me. Those are automatic rifles. That's not nearly enough dice."

Lynn whimpered softly as she gazed forlornly as her tiny, soon to be Swiss-cheese facsimile.

"Good job girls!" Lincoln announced some time later, looking around at the haggard faces of his sisters (and Sam.) "I know that was a tough fight, but you all pulled together and made it through!"

"Some of us more than others." Sam quipped, shooting a sidelong glance Lynn's way.

"What are you trying to say?" Lynn growled, pounding her fist on the table.

"Nothing." Sam replied. "Just that some of us can still drink water without leaking." Sam smirked as she was rewarded with a round of giggles from the other girls.

"It's because you got shot a lot!" Leni shouted, poking Lynn in the side.

"Thank you Leni." Lynn spat through gritted teeth.

"Hey Lynn, don't worry about it." Lincoln leaned over and gave her a pat on the shoulder. "Things like that happen. It's just part of the game."

He'd expected Lynn to turn her irritation on him. Instead, to his surprise, the sporty Loud took a deep breath, then let it out very slowly.

"It's cool, little brother. I'm fine." Lynn intoned softly. Lincoln wanted to be happy at this turn of events, but the uncharacteristic calm Lynn was displaying was slightly unnerving.

"R-right." He said, coughing softly as he turned to address the rest of the group.

"So the warehouse is pretty banged up after that fight, but you can clearly see that right about here..." He grabbed a sharpie and drew a large circle on the portion of the battleboard which represented the warehouse interior. "...is a large vat, built directly into the ground."

"What's inside?" Lucy asked on behalf of the group.

"The vat is filled to the brim with some kind of glowing green chemical." Lincoln replied, glancing at his notes.

"Anything else we can tell from looking at it, little bro?" Luna queried.

Lincoln once again checked his notes. "It looks really toxic."

"So helpful." Lori deadpanned, rolling her eyes.

"I've got this, girls." Sam said, cracking her knuckles confidently. "Card Sharp knows a bit about chemistry. I'll take a closer look while you guys look around for clues."

Seeing the remainder of the group was in agreement, Lincoln began rearranging the figures on the board to correspond with where the girls indicated they would be moving. All except...

"How about you, Lynn?" Lincoln asked

"One question, dear brother." The eerie amount of calm in Lynn's voice was offset by the glint in her eyes. "Sam's trying to examine that vat of really toxic chemicals, right?"

"...Yeah." Lincoln nodded in acknowledgement, not liking where this is going.

"Would you say she's...occupied? Not particularly aware of her surroundings at this point? She did say the was taking a close look!"

"Hey!" Sam protested

Lincoln winced, suspecting he knew what Lynn was getting at. "Yeah. Sorry Sam, but I'd say you're pretty engrossed in your work."

The older girl let out an exasperated sigh, and crossed her arms in irritation.

"In that case..." Lynn said sweetly, "Strong Suit is going to casually make her way over to the extremely distracted Card Sharp, standing in front of the vat of really toxic chemicals..." She paused, to let out a rather adorable cackle, given the circumstances. "And shove her into it!"

"Why you little—" Thankfully, Luna clamped her hands over her girlfriends mouth before she could say anything she might later regret.

"Sayonara, Sharp!" Lynn taunted as she reached over, and flicked Sam's figurine with her index finger, knocking it on it's side.

Lincoln simply stared at the board, trying to process what had taken place.

"Hey Linc?" Luna asked, drawing his attention. He turned and saw her struggling to keep hold of her incensed girlfriend. "Maybe you should tell us what that actually does. Quickly!"

"I..." He paused to take a breath, "...am not actually sure."

Lincoln reached under the table and pulled out the rulebook, flipping through the pages as he murmured to himself. "Those were class B chemicals...and a fairly high concentration at that, coming into contact with organic matter...hmm..."

Finally he found the page he was looking for. "Sam." He said, after scanning the page for a moment, "I'm going to need you to make a few rolls. I'll tell you when to stop."

"Okay." Lincoln announced after several minutes of rolling dice and cross referencing various charts. "So the good news is that nothing immediately fatal is going to happen to Card Sharp."

"What's the bad news?" Lori asked

"That's what we're going to determine right now." Lincoln replied. "Sam, I'm going to need you to make another roll."

The blonde girl acquiesced, shooting another glare at the, entirely too happy at this point, Lynn.

"Alright." Lincoln said, checking the result. "Looks like we're dealing with a body mutation."

"Meaning?" Luan prompted.

"Could mean she grows a third arm. Could mean her lungs become sentient." Lincoln replied, shrugging. "Give me another roll Sam."

Again the blonde girl complied.

"So now we check the table nested in the addendum of sub-chart Gamma, and..." Lincoln's eyes widened in surprise.

"What happened Linky?" Leni asked concerned.

"R-roll again, Sam." Lincoln said, clearing his throat.

She did so. "Again." Lincoln instructed, wincing. This repeated five more times, each time Lincoln growing increasingly pale.

"A-alright." Lincoln said at last. "I think we're done here."

"Don't keep us in suspense, Linc." said Lynn, curious in spite of herself.

"Right." Lincoln checked his notes one last time, sighing in resignation.

"So Strong Suit creeps up behind Card Sharp and kicks her into the vat of extremely toxic looking chemicals." He intoned "Card Sharp is caught completely unaware, and falls into the vat face first. You hear a popping and a sort of...sizzling sound, and then...nothing."

Seeing the looks on the girls faces, he held up one hand to forestall any protests. "...at first."

Looks of concern now turned to looks of confusion. "Suddenly..." He continued, "The ground begins to shake. Before any of you can properly react, something erupts from the vat, exploding upward. The sheer force causes what's left of the warehouse to collapse around you."

"When the dust clears, you now find yourselves staring up at the very alive form of the Card Sharp. Only now standing at about..." He checked his notes again. "Fifty feet tall."

Silence fell upon the group as they collectively processed this turn of events.

"Well." Sam crowed, shooting a victorious smirk at Lynn. "How do you like them apples, pipsqueak?"

Lincoln sighed as a new round of bickering broke out between the pair. He looked to the large stack contingency scenarios he'd prepared, and, with a sigh of resignation, slapped them off the table.

"So much for being prepared." He groaned.

OMAKE: Here's something I wrote up in response to AberrantScript's request that I let Lincoln do more lewd things to Sam.

"Alright." Lincoln said, consulting his notes, "Ace Savvy appears before you. He says—"

"I make a seduction roll on Ace!" Sam shouted, grabbing her die and flinging it towards the younger boy. It gradually rolled to a stop. 17.

"...Okay." Lincoln said, grabbing his rulebook and flipping through it. "Card Sharp is blonde, right?"

"Yes?" Sam responded, somewhat confused.

"How big are her breasts?"

"Um, w-well, C's, I guess?" Sam replied, blushing slightly.

Lincoln pulled out some scratch paper and started scribbling. "Favored hair color, body type falls within acceptable deviations...carry the three...aaaand yeah, alright."

"Really?" Sam blinked in surprise.

"Yep." Lincoln nodded. "With the applicable modifiers, you successfully seduced Ace Savvy. Congrats."

"Oh." Sam couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at how anticlimactic that felt. "Was it hot?"

Lincoln rolled a handful of dice behind his screen. "Yes."

"Awesome. I guess."

"Make sure you roll a save against pregnancy at the beginning of each of the next three in-game days."