Massacre Highway: Steering Assistance

"Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul straight to hell."

Neon Proverbs 23:14 (Unified Standard Edition)

- - -

Hitomi pulled her feet out from under herself and slid her zip-tied ankles into view. The thin plastic cords were eating into her jeans, sawing through the dyed-blue fabric like tiny shark teeth.

No wonder they were so sore.

She didn't know how much time she had before the murderous little sociopath splayed out on the van's floor would rouse, so she fetched up Mr. Pipe and wedged it as best she could between her feet, applying pressure until she heard the satisfying snap of the zip ties breaking apart.

Hitomi hunted around the van's back portion until she found a box of white zip ties stuffed haphazardly inside a forest green duffel bag behind the driver's seat.

Now it was her turn.

She rolled "Redrum" on his back and heard the whoosh of air leaving his lungs (followed shortly by an involuntarily inhalation). Grabbing his wrists she pulled forward, none too gently, and secured his wrists with not one, not two, but three thick white zip ties.

And just for good measure she zip tied his thumbs together too.

She'd seen that in a Yakuza film.

This way she could see his hands at all times so he couldn't sneakily break the zip ties without her noticing.

Hitomi repeated the process with his ankles (ignoring his toes, of course) and then sat back on top of a tire well that made a good impromptu back seat as she considered her next move.

Well, she was stuck in a parking garage, under a building surrounded by police, in the van of one of the mass murdering psychopaths who had set Highway 66 on fire, murdered a boardroom full of business executives, and rained bullets on fleeing civilians.

And it was raining.

Crap.

Her gut clenched uncomfortably and she realized she needed to relieve herself, desperately.

She opened the back doors of the van, and, unceremoniously, did her business right outside the van. Could her day get more ridiculous? They never showed this part in all the action movies.

Meh. At least "Redrum" was still out of it.

Speaking of.

Hitomi hefted Mr. Pipe in her right hand and let it smack down into her left palm, again and again, as she thought about what to do.

There wasn't much time. Any minute the police or SWAT team would be storming the building and she'd get caught up in the investigation, ruining her chance at evacuating from this newborn hell that America had become in the last week.

Could she drive out of here in the van?

No way.

They'd probably shoot her through the windshield before she could even get past the parking garage's entrance.

Oh. Ohhhh. The vaguest form of an idea started taking shape in her head.

She bent over to the unconscious waste of flesh that was "Redrum" and checked his baggy sweatpants. Hitomi grinned. The van's keys were in her hand now.

If *SHE* couldn't drive out of the parking garage, maybe HE could.

He was either still out of it or faking it, but it didn't matter to Hitomi. Mr. Pipe came down on his legs and he squirmed to life as she systematically cracked his shins. He screamed briefly, but she simply pointed the hooked end of her pipe at his face and all the strength seemed to leave his body.

In fact, his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out: again.

Weak.

She jumped into the driver's seat and started the car's engine with a push of a button.

A pleasant looking blue LED display lit up in front of her and she quickly scrolled through all the options.

Yep. This van had some sort of cruise control with steering assist.

Technology for the win!

She backed out of the spot the van was in and circled around the parking garage carefully, following the exit signs until she could just see the straight beeline a hundred feet ahead where a smudge of orange sunlight - it was nearly sunset by now - was reflecting off the wet concrete near the parking garage's entrance.

Hitomi carefully lined up the van so it was pointed straight at the distant entrance, just out of sight (since the entrance/exit was slightly elevated up a ramp), and set the van to park.

Just in time. "Redrum" moaned something unintelligible so she stepped back into the van's rear and pulled him up roughly, dragging him over the various sharp edges of the various utility boxes strewn around and shoving him into the drivers seat.

She zip tied the steering wheel column to his hands and the "Driver detected" message flashed on the screen.

Perfect.

She crawled over his lap and opened the driver's door. It was so weird that the driver's seat was on the left side in America, but then again, they did drive on the right side of the road, so... she guessed that made sense.

Hitomi pulled Mr. Pipe across "Redrum's" lap and out of the van. Now she was standing right next to it, and leaned in to push her right foot on the brake.

Then she put the car in Drive.

Finally, she started fiddling with the adaptive cruise control settings.

First: disable the radar/collision detection. Check.

Second: set the cruise control speed to 60 MPH. Check.

And then? Safety first! Hitomi clicked the seat belt's three point harness over "Redrum"'s lap and chest, securing him in place. Check. Check. Check.

Now the van's steering assistance module would have no complaints.

"Wha..." she heard his soft groan as his eyes fluttered open.

She smiled grimly at him from mostly outside the car, one leg still pushed in so her foot could hold down the brake pedal.

Outside she could hear the occasional blare and siren mixed with the white noise of rain as it came in flurries and rushes, picking up and slacking off. She just needed to time it right when another batch of rain hit hard.

"Oh, hey," she said nonchalantly, "I figured you didn't put bombs around this entrance since you wanted to use it, right?"

His reply was unintelligible, eyes still glazed, but he mumbled, "W-what... the..."

Oh man. Hitomi really wanted to figure out a one-liner like Arnold Schwarzenegger would say at the penultimate part of one of his action movies. But then she heard a loud blare from outside the parking garage.

"DRIVER OF THE VAN! SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY!"

Crap. They could probably see the top of the van or its headlights from the angle of the exit, even if it was this far inside still. Well, it was probably OK. Hitomi was mostly hidden behind the van's open driver's side door.

Yeah. They probably couldn't see any details.

"TURN OFF THE VEHICLE!"

The police were using a megaphone to announce their intentions but it was too late to back out on the plan now.

She just needed another wave of rain. Something to obscure the parking lot a little more than it already was.

And there it was! The megaphone's next command got swallowed up by the sound of rushing rain as another sheet blasted across the entrance, dimming the orange sunlight into greys.

She rolled "Redrum"'s head towards her, making solid eye-contact with him as he blinked stupidly at her.

"Well, bye," she said. Maybe a little lamely.

Then she took her foot off the brake and the van began rolling forward under the control of its automated cruise control. Thinking back to her plan she quickly ducked behind the van and followed behind it - out of view - as it picked up speed.

First walking, then jogging as it veered forward at an accelerating rate.

"STOP! STOP OR WE *WILL* OPEN FIRE!"

Hitomi was running now as the distance to the entrance closed rapidly, and the van was, as she had expected, veering towards the side of the underground parking garage's entrance - it just barely scraped off the far right wall and then she ducked to the side of the entrance, staying inside, braced against the inner corner wall as she heard the van rev up further and burst into the dying rainfall.

"OPEN FIRE!"

Cracks and pops exploded into life outside, and the ricochets and echoes of large caliber rifle fire bounced off the concrete walls around her.

Apparently the van was still moving though, because she heard tires squealing and crashing sounds outside. She carefully peered around the wall of entrance, and, not seeing anything or anyone on the ramp itself, dashed forward over the wet concrete and into the storm.

"GO GO GO!" the megaphone commanded the officers to give chase.

Perfect!

Every officer's attention was on the runaway van careening across the parking lot, making its way for a road off to the side at a lopsided angle. They didn't even notice her as she ran right up the ramp and took shelter to the side of the building and then quickly scurrying with Mr. Pipe towards the tree-line.

The rain cloaked her. The storm had apparently never quite ended and another flurry of rain had pounded down right before the van had launched into the parking lot from the parking garage.

Low visibility meant she had a chance to go unnoticed, or at least, she hoped.

No one was yelling in her direction. She didn't dare turn around to see what had happened to the van and its driver.

Maybe they'd get her on surveillance camera - but she'd chosen the moment perfectly - hopefully she'd be halfway across the ocean before they put a positive ID on her.

Her feet pounded on the slick surface of tar and asphalt in the parking lot as she ran back towards the side nearest the highway, towards the shrubs and trees offering sweet shelter.

Hitomi hurdled a small concrete wall and fell into the muddy slope on the other side, tumbling until she came to rest in the bushes, nearly clocking herself with Mr. Pipe.

Safe.

She moved along the becalmed highway back towards where she had first re-entered the locked-up traffic alongside Keiko.

It took her a few minutes before the adrenaline began wearing off.

But by then she had walked all the way back up the highway: east. Instinctively she made her way to the same place she had come from.

The bus stop where she and Keiko had stopped to rest.

And all her luggage - her duffel bag of clothes and her laptop/phone bag.

Still there.

She idly put Mr. Pipe away into the duffel bag she'd abandoned, what? Hours ago?

She thought someone would've stolen it all by now.

But no. Here it all was.

Here she was.

Back where she started after escaping the fire that had engulfed the highway.

Back where she was before she and Nurse Murata - poor Keiko - decided to go down below and try to help anyone hurt in what they thought had been a terrible traffic accident.

Instead they'd been met by systematic sniper fire and countless bodies dropping to the rainslick asphalt as bullets took them in the heads, necks, and chests.

The memory sent a shudder through her body.

She felt something wet and warm pooling underneath her and jumped up in alarm, noticing a small smear of blood on the bench.

Had she been shot?

Stabbed?

She looked down at herself trying to ascertain where the damage was and then felt a terrible squeezing sensation in her gut. Hitomi bent over in excruciating pain.

The adrenaline had completely worn off. Had she really taken a bullet and not noticed?

The pain returned in a crashing wave, crushing her stomach.

Then she laughed, letting out a barking, keening sound.

Bitter. Bitter laughter.

"Ha.. haha.. - you've got to be- haaaaaaa HAHAAHAAAaaaa," the laughter carried on in fits and starts.

This was the most... ridiculous, THE MOST RIDICULOUS way her day could possibly end, after everything that had happened.

Her friend dead.

Storming a bomb-filled building and executing a terrorist in front of his adoring fans.

Running into ANOTHER mass murdering asshole.

Who had kidnapped her! Who had TASED her!

And she got away. From him, from all of them!

And what? This is what she got for it?

"Arghhhhh..." she gritted out as another cramp shot through her.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!??" she screamed out to nobody.

Her period had started.