Chapter 30

I anticipated a week for his call staring at the phone without focusing on anything, even when I was painting. I try not to think about that day. I unintentionally recall the scenes of the day that make my heart ache.

In contrast, I started thinking that I wasn't as beautiful as her and that perhaps I didn't deserve to be his partner. She looks perfect and comes from a rich family like him. I come from a middle class family with a normal upbringing. It has become difficult to believe in myself now that I am experiencing doubt in my abilities.

I got to my sense from the thoughts of that day when my phone rang. Keeping my painting brush aside, I went to pick up the call and saw Vihaan's name popping on the screen. I picked up and said, "Hello," with a low tone.

He asked me, "how did you do in the interview? have you got selected or not?"

I informed him that they will send mail regarding the selection. Later, our conversation extended. I was waiting for him to tell me the truth about his engagement, but he didn't. He sounded upset over our whole conversation. I asked him so that he could tell me about what he was going through, "Is everything alright? You sound upset."

He lied, "everything is fine."

I knew he wasn't. I was sure he might be feeling guilty. He tried to tell me something, but he stopped. Perhaps, he thinks that I'll get upset and angry with him. I ended the call by saying that I remembered an important work.

Whenever he calls me, he sounds stressed and upset. I know he still cares for me and loves me. I thought I had to relieve him from this burden of being guilty towards me. I decided to break up with him so he could focus on his life and career. Else he might end up getting depressed by thinking about me so that he can be better after some time and move on in his life.

I called him one day and asked him, "Let's get break up."

He was startled after hearing my decision and anxiously, "What? Did I do anything wrong?"

I reasoned confidently, "There is no specific reason. I thought we make in a long-distance relationship, but I proved wrong. Annie once said it's not so easy to be in a long-distance relationship. Now, I agree with her. It became stressful for me to continue like this, getting disturbed by thinking about us. I really need my own space where I can focus on myself." Inside I was trembling while saying to him.

"Do you really want to break up?" he continued, "You are my love and my life. I can't even imagine my world without you." "I love you, Siya. I love you forever. You can't do this to me."

"Do you think you can move on from me?" he asked.

I can feel the pain in his voice which makes me think again about my decision, but I made myself clear to quit. "Yes, I can." I lied.

I knew it was not easy to forget and move on. Right now, he needs to focus on his work and future, or else get disturbed by thinking about us. I don't want him to ruin his career just because of me.

He took a few minutes and said calmly, "Fine, do as you wish. I won't disturb you by calling again. Don't expect me to forget you. I know you might have a reason for asking for the breakup which you are hiding from me. I am not in the situation to take a step on my own about us. I'll return to you someday and get you back in my life. I promise." end the call.

I sit in the corner of the bed, sobbing by covering my face with my hands for hurting and losing him.

Mom came to my room to call me for dinner, found me crying, and asked me worriedly, "Did something happen, Siya?"

I hugged her and said, "I broke up with Vihaan."

She consoled me, "Don't cry, my dear. It pains when we hurt the person whom we love. I was sure you had your reasons. However, you need to focus on yourself and try to move forward in life. It's not strange for fate and luck to play hard on us, so we need to be strong when things aren't in our favor. If it's in your destiny, it might come back to you again, even if it takes a while."

She wiped my tears, "You're my strong daughter. You can't let a single hurdle in life weaken you. You need to move on in your life." She took me out, fed me dinner, help me to sleep by staying next to me the whole night.

One day when Aarav was with me, spoke about the interview selection and asked if I get any mail from an interviewer. I replied that I got it in Mumbai.

He said, "Me too." We both checked our e-mails regarding our report in the office. His phone rings and pops Vihaan's name on it. He rejected the call and placed his phone on the desk.

As Mom called Aarav downstairs, he walked out, and his phone rang again. I saw his name and lifted the call, expecting to hear his voice at least once. He asked Aarav not to break their friendship because of our breakup. When Aarav walked in, he grabbed his phone from my hand and said, "I'll talk to you later."

"Why are you avoiding him? Your friendship started before we met each other. He might be feeling low. Don't make things more hard on him. Please don't avoid him and be friendly as usual." He agreed as I begged him, "Be with him. Please."

Vihaan called him back again. Aarav answered his call, " I'd like to be friends as long as we don't talk about Siya." Vihaan agreed.

In the end, Aarav advised me to focus on my career and move on, to which I nodded.

I decided to move on from him and concentrate on my future, which is difficult for me. It's really hard for me. Whenever I go out, I recall those moments I shared with him. The pain in my heart was not thinking about him was unbearable because the time I spent with him was joyful and precious to me.

I returned home and found my drawing book, in which I would draw my moments with him, and watching them makes me feel better.

I accepted the truth that my love for him was unconditional. Even if we decided to part ways, still, I can love him from my heart without expecting anything from him. The time I spend with him is enough to live my life by loving him without blurring the memories from my heart and soul.

The next day I woke up with a new beginning and focused on my painting. I decided to sell them online and go out to explore more beauty in nature, which makes me think artistically and encourages me to fill my paintings with feel and emotion.

We both got jobs from the campus interview and moved to Mumbai. Aarav and I rented a home and settled in the related job in respective companies, and then I made some new friends from the office on my first day. Nikhil and Asha, who have been friends since childhood, love each other.

When I feel alone, I stare at those pictures in the book, which instantly makes me smile. I made myself busy in the morning hour with the 9-6 job as an Application Analyst in a software company. At night hours, I work on my paintings until I get tired to allow sleep without any thoughts.

My paintings gain popularity and my own recognition as a professional artist, with my alternative name, Suzy. Within one year, I owned a new home with a studio upstairs and shifted along with Aarav.