rd Chapter

Chapter Title: [Papers Please - A Fateful Meeting Ensues!]

"So, Chad, how are you adapting to your new teacher life?" The headteacher Saki asked the burly man walking next to her.

"S'alright, piece of piss really…" Chad mumbled with his hands behind his head.

Currently, he's been teaching at Kuoh for about a week or so. Although the paperwork was annoying due to all that vertical writing bollocks, he had fun during his lessons.

Homeroom with the second years was bliss, he just slept through them and let the reps handle whatever needed to be announced.

As for his lessons, he has built up quite the notoriety already throughout all the years. His lesson plan is simple and effective. He calls it excessive personalized training under extreme duress. Everyone else calls it 'Run, Dodge, Survive'.

Even the paperwork wasn't that bad, he just used his wily charms on the female teachers and pushed all his work onto them.

Classic Chad labour.

Other than work, he's been kept busy by his real duties. He and his entourage made landfall in this universe 3 weeks ago. His first objective was to learn as much as he could about the powers that be, the second was to come up with a plan to snatch key members away.

In basic terms, or rather the simplified version Ulyssa told Chad, kidnapping these persons of influence and smuggling them into Chadhalla would strengthen his realm and stop the ongoing catastrophe.

In more complex terms, Chadhalla was made of the same 'stuff' as this current universe. And people with considerable power were imprinted with the signature of their respective realm. Bringing in foreign agents to another realm wouldn't normally affect things much, but an unstable realm like Chad's would be more prone to altering.

The foreign agents carry information from a stable realm. Once brought to Chadhalla, they'd slowly influence space around them. Ulyssa can speed up the process and on a wider scale. Having enough agents would solve the problem of the chaotic space entirely. Having enough agents from various realms would further interlock the laws of Chadhalla's space like a firewall that protects against unregistered interlopers.

Eradicating two birds with one godlike stone.

Well… that's the plan at least. One minor miscalculation was the place they ended up in. Energy wise, it was barren.

Chad passively spent his time in this realm absorbing energy to fill the Thundercock fragment. The Valkyries tried every night to stimulate the absorption rate, but there was only so much the two of them could do. Chad's methods were unorthodox and quite taxing on the girls' stamina.

After 3 weeks, he was only about half a tank full. At this rate he would be limited in his actions to every 2 months.

'What kind of shitty RTS restricts the king's actions to once every 2 months… Fucking paradox!'

"Chad? Did you hear me?" Saki who was still walking by his side waved a hand in front of his eyes.

"HUH! Wha… holy shit I think I blacked out for half a minute" Chad woke up from his reverie.

"Well I hope you're okay… Anyway, as I was saying about the clubs" Saki was already used to Chad's antics. She found them endearing at times, like a puppy licking its balls.

Because he's been here a while, he asked the headteacher to assign him a club to supervise. He heard the other teachers boasting about their clubs before. 'And where there's a competition to be won, Chad's in!' Or so he would say.

Clubs were small organizations formed by the students where they spent their time after school on extracurricular activities or focus groups. Each club needed at least 5 members, with 3 members taking the roles of president, vice-president and treasurer.

They also require the approval of a teacher who would, in turn, be an advisor and supervisor. And that's all before the club becomes official. As for the subject of the club, it could be anything from sport to writing shitty fan fiction. The club receives funds from the school to operate as long as they advertise the school, and they perform well in international competitions and exchanges.

If you were to ask Chad, that was quite a lot to ask of these little window lickers. Especially after what he's seen.

"Are you sure you do not need more time here before undertaking such a responsibility?" Saki quizzically looked at him.

Chad threw his gaze over her.

She was a tall, mature woman with an impressive figure, dressed tightly in formal attire with a very short business skirt. She had medium black hair tied neatly in a ponytail, a prim and proper appearance with little makeup, brown eyes and the cherry on top, glasses.

"Er… how hard could it be? I'm already 'taking care' of my homeroom class well enough."

"Well, this is the only available club at the moment, and it's a bit special you see…" She started explaining, pretending not to notice his hot gaze, "They have been approved since last year with the minimum student count however they never tried to recruit or advertise, they get no school funding, and they never asked for an advisor."

"Weirder still, this whole matter was handled by the student council, not the faculty, and they specifically asked for a room in the old abandoned school building, which I don't remember agreeing to…" She was rambling while deep in thought.

"Uh-huh?" Chad kept ogling her.

"Of course we sent for inquiry, but all the teachers came back saying the same thing. Exemplary behaviour and dedication to their studies." She sighed.

"Then what's the big idea, isn't everything peachy?" Chad gave an offhanded response.

"It's not like they're some sort of secret cult doing dodgy work in the dead of night."

…

"I hope your positive attitude is well-placed. No matter, we'll know soon enough, we're here." She stopped in front of an old, decrepit building hidden away behind the gymnasium in a forested part of the school grounds.

She took Chad towards the entrance and led him in.

"Finally! Some swingy doors." Chad almost burst out crying, all the doors he broke this week came out of his pay cheque.

"I've notified the students ahead of time, they should be in the clubroom now waiting for you, so please go ahead, I await the good news." She spoke with a smile.

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A couple of minutes prior.

"Buchou the new advisor should be here soon." A tall girl with black hair tied in a long ponytail addressed another red-headed girl who sat at a wide mahogany desk.

"Thank you Akeno, headteacher Takamoto is still very suspicious of us, no matter." The girl replied while writing down some paperwork.

"Are we going to do the usual, Buchou?" A blonde boy sat on the couch also asked her in turn.

"What else? We'll introduce ourselves, show him we're perfect exemplary students, wipe his memories and send him on his way." The girl stopped what she was doing and looked over at Akeno.

"Ufufu, then I shall prepare right away." Akeno bowed slightly and left the room.

"Honestly, I just hope this is the last time… maybe I should just ask father to change the headteacher with one of our own." The girl crossed her arms and pondered with a frown.

"Would you happen to know who this person might be, Buchou?" The boy asked.

The girl looked at him for a moment, then picked up a piece of paper from her desk.

"The new teacher, one Mr Sandakokku. He just joined the faculty before the 1st semester." She said.

"Oh, he already has somewhat of a reputation." The boy smiled, "The class next-door has him as a homeroom teacher, and every morning starts with quite the ruckus."

"Yes, the infamous spartan PE teacher. Everybody in the 3rd year says he's the devil himself, ironically he's been told to become our supervisor." The girl laughed at her joke, "Huh, Koneko what's wrong?"

She noticed the other girl sat on the couch staring at the front door with a heavy expression.

"...bad." Koneko whispered.

*SLAM* x1

"O-ha-yo~!" Suddenly Chad.

Out of nowhere, the doors to the clubroom burst open with enough force to send a gust of wind throughout the room. If the hinges were not reinforced, the wind wouldn't be the only thing flying.

In the doorway staring down a couple of dumbstruck kids was a giant brute of a man with muscles bulging from ever— it's Chad, OK, just assume it is Chad from now on. I'm not describing him every time he enters the scene, I refuse.

"What? Sommet on me face?" Chad entered the room, touching his fine jawline.

After a brief moment, the girl behind the desk stood up and cleared her throat.

"Good day, you must be Sandakokku-sensei. My name is Rias Gremory, a 3rd year and the president of this club." She bowed slightly, "It is my pleasure, sensei."

"Hoho, finally someone gets it. Didn't say a word, and she already gave me the name and rank. I'm impressed, Grimoire-san." Chad clapped his hands in genuine amazement.

"Kiba Yuuto, 2nd year and treasurer of this club." The boy also stood up and bowed to Chad, albeit with a cautious tone.

"...Toujou Koneko ...1st year." The other girl joined in on full alert.

"You're gonna make sensei cry if you keep this up." Chad nearly allowed a tear to roll down his chiselled cheekbones.

"Please have a seat sensei, and we can discuss the matter at hand." Rias headed for the couch and invited Chad over.

The other two moved behind her couch, ramrod straight.

Chad took the invitation in stride, scrutinizing every inch of their bodies. Not in a Rolf Harris way, just a habit he developed from years of fighting.

Sitting down, he also took his time scanning the room. These kids had some weird hobbies if you asked him, but he's seen Ulyssa's playroom come dungeon before, so this was nothing.

"As you said before I'm Chad Thundercock, PE extraordinaire, object of worship and from now on your extremely handsome supervisor." He said as he got comfortable on the couch.

"Welcome to the Occult Research Club sensei, although small and out of the way, I assure you that we take our work here very seriously." She responded in turn without batting an eye at Chad's red flag-ish introduction.

"Uh-huh, so what do you guys do here anyways, tea parties and Henry VIII role-play?" Chad asked.

"Oh, the headteacher did not tell you? We study the supernatural, legends from around the world and compile our findings here for discussion. Sometimes we also move together to investigate sites where weird phenomena appear, but mostly we do our work independently." Rias recited her script.

"Cool." Chad was already getting bored and wanted to leave, "Fuckin' like, I just need some paperwork or whatever, and I'm outta your hair. Last month's activities will do."

"But of course sensei, I have all the paperwork on my desk, I'll just get it ready now. In the meantime, would you like some tea?" Rias got up and made her way towards the desk.

As if rehearsed, a second door in the clubroom opened and a girl pushed in a trolley with a teapot, matching china set and an assortment of cookies.

"Got anything stronger? My wife is really into her teas and all that, so I'm kinda sick of this shit. But you know— happy wife, happy life." Chad complained while inspecting the newcomer.

"I'm afraid not sensei, this is a school after all…" Rias looked at him funny.

"What are you, a vicar?"

"Ufufu my name is Akeno Himejima, 3rd year and vice-president of this club. A pleasure to meet you, sensei." Akeno bowed slightly.

"Hum." Chad nodded towards her slightly while a storm was raging inside his head.

'Holy shit, she's bad news, I pray for the poor fucker who this chick decides to settle on!' He screamed internally.

His expertise in the field of women could easily class him as a professional. And his years of experience were ringing every possible alarm on this girl.

He met succubi that ranked lower on his Batshit-Insane-o-Meter than her.

While he was deliberating inside his mind, Akeno poured him a cup of tea and served it.

"Please enjoy sensei." She said with a warm smile.

"Cheers love." Chad said without looking at her.

He picked up his cup and unceremoniously necked the entire thing like it was a shot of whiskey.

"Mmm very floral, herbaceous too but with some slight sweet notes. Jasmine and green tea, and some spicy aftertaste… Thyme? Aight, I'll allow it." Chad investigated the flavours in his mouth and gave an approving nod.

He looked around the room for confirmation, only to be greeted with dumbfounded stares.

"What?" He asked.

"Eh, nothing at all, it's just I did not expect sensei to be proficient in tea…" Rias was the first to wake up from her stupor.

"Ufufu it really is unexpected." Akeno laughed lightly, which sent a chill down Chad's spine.

"Didn't I say my wife forced me to drink several lifetime supplies of tea?" He asked.

"My dear Lydia is very caring and kind, but she's very strict and stubborn, everything must be perfect. If she serves me a meal or a cup of tea and I can't tell what's in it, then it's off with my head…" Chad started recounting.

"Er… Haha, it sounds like you have it hard, sensei." Rias could only comment thus.

"But it sure feels nice when someone appreciates your work, your wife might be onto something, sensei." Akeno gave her two cents.

'Keep your opinions to yourself, you damn enchantress!' That is what Chad wanted to shout, but could only nod instead.

Akeno filled his cup once more and then set down another pre-prepared one on the opposite end of the table.

Just in time as Rias sat down once more, this time with a stack of papers in hand.

"Sensei, I believe this is everything you need." Rias handed him the papers.

"Right." Chad leafed through them quickly while sipping tea.

"Well, that's it I guess, when do you guys meet up?"

"Every day, including weekends." Rias answered.

"Don't you have a life? Well if you expect me to show up every day then that's gonna cost you sunshine. And lemme tell you, 'Chad Cameos' come at a premium."

Chad grabbed the papers and got up, "See yous when I see yous." and made for the door.

"Sensei please wait, you haven't even tried Akeno's cookies yet, I wholly recommend them." Rias also got up and tried to coax Chad back.

"Nah, we're about to hit the word limit, so I gotta bounce if I want to hit the izakaya." Chad was having none of it, for it was beer o'clock.

"I simply must protest, plus I would've wanted to learn more about our new supervisor." Rias pressed on.

"Look, you kids are adorable and all with your weird ghost shite and creepy paraphernalia, but I am busting for a shit and if I don't start running NOW, it's gonna get nuclear." Chad turned, trying to bullshit his way out, when he saw that sea witch doing something.

"Listen, ponytail. Whatever you're doing, I recommend you stop that." Chad said.

Akeno's hand froze behind her back, the magic circle that started taking shape slowly lost power and broke down.

"And next time you try to drug me, use some of that tasteless shit." Chad gave his last bit of teacherly advice and with a quick pivoting motion set off.

He left them staring at the empty doorway. It took a couple seconds for everyone to process what just happened.

"Buchou, should I go?" Kiba looked at her for some instructions.

"No Yuuto, it's too dangerous. We put Yeth Hound saliva in his tea." Rias explained with a sigh.

"Enough to drop an elephant." Akeno added.

"So, what you're saying is?" Kiba inquired.

"We kicked a lead bucket full of bricks." Rias said biting her fingernail.

"...bad."

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Chad reported back to Saki as per instructions. Having to describe every moment he spent there in detail to satisfy her.

"You too, huh." Saki looked at Chad with half closed eyes as he was explaining his encounter.

"I'm telling you, nowt outta order, got the papers and everything." Chad defended the kids.

"I still don't like it." Saki pouted to one side.

"What do you have against the kids? They served me tea and everything, an absolute delight."

Of course, he omitted the drugged tea and banshee magic. It's not Chad's place to question people's odd hobbies.

"And you're 100% sure nothing suspicious is taking place."

"Well, if you ignore the satanic symbols drawn in blood and Mr. Okumura's head on a pike in the middle of one…" Chad said to an irritated Saki.

"I'm joking" He deflated.

"Fine, if even you say they're green, then I guess I'm just on edge for no reason."

"Exactly! Now grab your jacket, we're hitting downtown."

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