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A Pervert's Dream (DISCONTINUED Until REWRITE)

Brian is a simple guy. When he dies and gets reincarnated...he suddenly finds himself with options. He could do... anything and be anyone. Pursue greatness rather than being contented with what society offered him. So he latches on to what was his most unattainable desire from before. To bang the Black Widow. Make her shout his name in euphoria and a plethora of other Perverted things. But to get there he needs to be strong enough. Let's start the Grind.

Saintbarbido · Movies
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63 Chs

Namekian Dragonballs

12 advanced chapters in my pat.reon. pat.reon.com/Saintbarbido.

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Wow. Crazy stuff is about to happen. I swear Zero Silence tried to warn me about this...but what can you do when the loopholes that exist are sooo many.

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(Brian's P.O.V)

"I am not aware of your knowledge regarding the universal hierarchy. But most of the universe is ruled over by the Planetary Trade Organization. At the top of it, sits the Cold family."

I begun and instantly Guru's face changed to a knowing one. 

"The cold family consists of King cold and his two sons, Cooler and Frieza. The vision I saw was of Frieza…and he was coming to Namek for the Dragonballs."

"What!"

Guru shouted uncharacteristically. Nail looked on in surprise as the Grand Elder brought a hand to his face and massaged his forehead. 

"This is…worse than I could have ever imagined."

I nodded in grim silence. 

"Grand Elder. Who is this Frieza?"

"Oh Nail my dear son. The cold family are a race of aliens known as Frost Demons and their power is immense. Frieza in particular is a monster who does whatever he wants. If he has set his eyes on Namek, I fear for the future."

I rose up from the seat that Nail had gotten me, begrudgingly of course. Classic Nail.

"Not necessarily. Grand Elder for what you're about to do for me…I want to offer my help."

Nail looked at me in suspicion.

"Why? Why would you want to fight a battle that is not your own? What benefit would that bring you?"

So much Nail. So much benefit, I can't say because you guys would do everything to prevent me from making my wish.

"Besides, I think that this fight should be fought by a Namekian warrior. I am not weak enough to allow a stranger like you to fight for me."

Nail stated stubbornly. 

I clenched my jaw at just how much he was making things harder.

" I'm not trying to put your skills and power to question Nail but think about it. An outsider is much more flexible in case we plan a pre-emptive attack. If it fails, the only one who needs to suffer is me. On the other hand, you have an entire race standing behind you. Frieza is not a foe you can beat with stubbornness and even both our powers combined would do nothing to him."

I told him honestly. Doubt started to make itself visible on his face and I took the chance to press on.

"Just to give you an idea of what sort of monster he is, at my current power he is more than 15 times stronger in his first form. In his current final form he is 4000 times stronger than I am."

Nail sucked in a deep breath. 

Both Namekians shared a grave look. 

"Why would you offer to do this child? To fight a battle against a foe that powerful?"

Guru finally asked making me smile.

"I have a brother…And he's someone who goes out of his way to save people. I'm not the same but I like to think I wouldn't turn a blind eye when someone needs my help." I looked at Guru with Conviction. 

"I am also doing this for selfish reasons. I need the Dragonballs for a powerup because Frieza will not stop his campaign of evil and one day, he'll make his way to earth. I can't let that happen."

They both nodded in understanding. Being partially upfront about my desires seemed to help my case.

"I might have judged you harshly."

Nail stated and I took that as an apology. 

Just then Mori came in and bowed to Guru.

"We have gathered the Dragonballs Grand Elder. There are right outside."

He spared me a curious look that was thankfully not the same as Nail's.

"Thank you Mori. Help our guest make his wish."

"Of course Grand Elder." Mori said and then turned to look at me. "Please follow me."

He walked out and I nodded at Guru and Nail.

" Thank you Grand Elder."

Surprisingly Nail didn't look at me like shit while I left.

I reached into the pocket of my trousers and came out with a piece of paper. The Namekian Dragonballs were easily more powerful than the earth ones. There never seemed to be a hard limit on what they couldn't do except for a few restrictions that I can't remember. I think immortality was one. Luckily I was only going for wishes that were limited alone but synergized well. 

Mori came to stand before seven huge Orange balls.

"Tell me want you need and I'll relay your wishes to Porunga."

I handed over the list to Mori.

"Some of the things I need do not have a Namekian equivalent in your language. So just ask him to make the things written on this piece of paper come true."

This was a gamble. To see if Porunga would consider the 3 wishes on the list one or three. Mori looked unsure for a second then shrugged and turned to the Dragonballs.

" takkaraputo popurunga pupirittoparo."

The where was a huge discharge of energy as the Dragonballs started humming. 

A huge swole looking dragon appeared in mid air and stared down at us.

"Speak your wishes summoner. You have 3."

He said in a booming voice.

Mori cleared his throat and started speaking in Namekian.

The list glowed in my hand and I instantly felt something change in me. It was like the snapping off of metaphorical chains. I smiled in happiness. It had worked.

"All three wishes have been granted. Farewell."

Porunga said that and the Dragonballs rose up and scattered. Dammit. Fanfiction is a lie. 

I sighed and kept on smiling, despite the little disappointment I was feeling. 

"Mori was it? Thank you. I'll head back to inform the Grand Elder that the wishes were granted."

I walked back into the hut and they stared at me expectantly. 

"It was a success. Once again, thank you Grand Elder."

Guru smiled at me and waved his hand while Nail's expression didn't change. Time for the second part of the plan.

" Onto other matters, it's time Grand Elder. I foresaw this conversation and I am sure you know what I mean."

Guru nodded.

"What is he talking about Grand Elder?"

"To take down Frieza, I need to be strong enough and 2 years is too short a time to get to that level. I just foresaw this conversation while I was outside and The Grand Elder offered to draw out my potential enough to match Frieza."

Nail looked surprised but otherwise kept quiet.

Of course all that was a lie. Every step I had taken to get to the level where Guru trusted me enough to let me use the Dragonballs was calculated. And it was also the indication that that level of trust would indeed allow him to draw out my potential. So I took a gamble and told them about a vision where he did exactly that, to push him over the edge. 

"Come forward child." 

He told me and I complied. He then reached out with his hand and brought it to hover above my head. 

Instantly the old man gasped. 

"Oh my…such infinite potential. The first time I've ever seen this…and it is so eager to be realized…so eager to be pulled and used."

Saying that…my body rose on it's own accord. Light started shining from my eyes, mouth as my ki went off the roof…and my power level…

50,000…1,000,000…10,000,000…100,000,000 and it only kept growing. My muscles tightened and expanded then contracted again. I felt my bones creak and my blood flow get smoother.  

An hour later, Guru's hands shook and he slumped back to his chair.

"Grand Elder…"

Nail hurried over to his side.

"It was too much. I couldn't…I couldn't pull all of it out."

Meanwhile my feet stepped back on to the ground and I spread out my hands, breathing in. My awareness of ki exploded and I felt Goku's ki all the way from Namek. Not only Goku but I also detected some sinister but weak ki that felt cold. They were strong. For the average person that is. Easily over 4000 times as strong as my previous power level. Frieza most likely. Wait, when was Frieza this weak? He barely feels like someone who can hurt a single hair on my head.

Wait…I sucked in a deep breath once I pulled up the Interface.

[Name: Brian Parker]

Cultivation level: N/A

Power Level: 300,000,000,000,000. (300 Trillion).- You have achieved the highest level a mortal of your species can reach in Body Strength alone. All physical related skills enhanced to their peak.

Soul strength: N/A.

Mental strength: Full Circle Psion :- You have achieved the highest level in mental strength that a mortal being can reach. New abilities gained.

Psionic Skills: Echo.

                          True Reveal.

                          Divine Telekinesis- 500 tons.

                          Divine Telepathy- 100 miles.

                          Inventory.

Special skills:   Danger Sense.

                          Zenkai.

                          Extremis.

                          Super Fast Growth - Your growth in power is phenomenally fast. Eclipsing almost all other beings.

                          Enhanced Adaptation - Your body adapts to things faster than is humanly possible. 

Ki Skills:           Superman set.

                          Ki constructs.

                          Dimensional Jump.

Inventory:         Pure Wish Energy Bead.

My brain started buzzing due to shock and I instantly crossed my legs and started meditating. Enhanced adaptation helped bring my power level to control enough that I read as before. Well almost. No matter what I could do I couldn't bring my power level below 10 million. I was stuck there.

Well, seems like my wishes actually did work. The wishes I had written in the list were:-

Broken Limiter as far as you can take it.

Enhanced Adaptation.

Super Fast Growth.

Then to make the best out of those wishes, I convinced Guru to draw out my potential, hence they had all worked together to gain me a power level of 300 trillion. Man, I already had the power level of characters from DBS while I was still in DBZ! how crazy is that? 

But by doing that I had only reached the limit I could go to by being human. Even Goku had to literally become a god in DBS to break through Super Saiyan 3. If I remember correctly SSJ3 Goku has a power level of only 24 billion. I was far above him. I was still weaker than Super Saiyan God Goku whose power level was 4.8 quadrillion though. 

The limit breaker wish should have worked to bring me to infinite strength but I understood why that didn't happen. When all is said and done, Porunga had a limit to what he could do. If I had wished upon the power of the Super Dragonballs then I would eclipse everyone in this universe. Including Whis.

This just showed how scary Saitama actually is. 

The good thing is that I wouldn't have to practice my control again, due to enhanced adaptation eagerly handling that problem for me. I couldn't measure just how strong I was now, without Ki. How many tons could I lift and how fast could I move without using the Superman Power Set? God I can't wait to see.

I opened my eyes to find Nail looking at me warily. I was now powerful enough that I could sneeze him into oblivion after all. Guru was resting with his eyes closed. 

I rose up from the floor and then bowed deeply.

"I cannot thank you enough for this. I promise you that I'll take care of the Frieza problem. He will not destroy lives again."

I straightened up and spared one last look at Nail. There wasn't anything left to say. 

He nodded and I jumped to Pokemon and then back to Earth near my cabin. I instantly went through my routine, cleaned up, had a swim, practiced a few Katas and then had a change of clothes for where I was going next. 

It had been long since I'd had a drink and I knew a place that would allow me to do that and also fulfill a fantasy of mine. 

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and smiled. I looked good. Finally had a proper beard or the beginnings of one at least. 

Then I jumped to the world of New Girl. I really wanted to meet Nick and the rest of the gang. Plus Nick was an awesome bartender and after all my recent successes, I think it was high time I celebrated. 

After celebrating, I would start looking into the new changes.

12 advanced chapters in my pat.reon. pat.reon.com/Saintbarbido.

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