18 For You

With only over a week left until the release of 'Love Yourself: Her', the nervousness in the air was palpable. The members and staff rushed back and forth to tend to last minute preparations and Ji Ah wasn't immune to the tension that hovered over them like an unrelenting bubble ready to burst.

The videographer was currently in Bangtan's practice room, going over the details of the press conference which her team had been requested to cover. Namjoon wasn't present, having been summoned to Bang PD's office earlier in the day and Seokjin thought it was the perfect time to bring up the little matter that had been nibbling at his mind.

Huddling the members together, he glanced over them conspiratorially. "It's Joonie's birthday the day after tomorrow," he said in a low voice. But Ji Ah stood in close proximity and she couldn't help but eavesdrop on the conversation floating between the members. "And I think we should do something special for him, not just as a birthday present but also as a way of showing how grateful we are to have a leader like him."

Jimin was nodding along to his Hyung's words, eyebrows furrowed in thought. "How about we write him letters?"

"Can I write him a rap verse instead?" Yoongi drawled, daunted by the prospect of having to spend hours laboring over eloquent words for Namjoon when he could convey his love for him by composing a song.

"Whatever floats your boat, Hyung," Taehyung chuckled, loud enough to warrant a few heads turning in their direction. Ji Ah laughed under her breath when the members shot him warning glances, turning away to focus on her work. Her eyes landed on a parchment placed over the speakers and she moved closer to study it, recognition flashing across the videographer's features. It was a sketch of Bangtan's 'Line' characters and Ji Ah recalled the collaboration with the app that they had signed up for. And suddenly, an idea sprung into her head.

"How about baking him a cake in the shape of his character Koya?" she suggested, slipping her head between Taehyung and Jimin. The members almost jumped in fright and Hoseok placed a palm against his chest dramatically.

"Christ, Ji Ah-sshi," Seokjin complained, evidently too loud for Yoongi who winced. "A little warning next time?"

Ji Ah grinned apologetically, reiterating her words. "How does that sound though?"

Jungkook raised his arm as his eyes roved over his members. "I think that's a great idea," he agreed with an imperceptible nod of his head. "We know Namjoon Hyung has a soft spot for such cakes." The maknae was undoubtedly recollecting the time when Jimin had surprised him with a Ryan-themed cake and how their leader had almost squealed in delight.

"I second this," Yoongi stated and Hoseok's face shone with an expression akin to approval. Jimin and Taehyung exchanged thoughtful looks, gradually warming up to the idea.

Ji Ah quickly intervened before they could say anything. "And you guys could also write letters to go with it," she added and Seokjin perked up at this.

"Let's do it then!" he said, but his brows wrinkled as a hurdle hit him. "But we're going to have to bake it ourselves, considering the fact that it's still too early for the characters to be revealed." On this tail, he wondered if he would be able to do it alone, seeing as how none of the others could bake. "I would require help. Can any of you bake?" He sensed the futility of the question, not knowing why he had even ventured it when a voice spoke up.

"I can," Ji Ah offered before she could clamp her mouth shut. She instantly regretted the outburst, especially when she watched a hopeful glint appear in Seokjin's eyes. And before she could retract her tactless words, the oldest member grabbed her hand in gratitude.

"It's settled then!"

                                 ***

Ji Ah was most certainly not settled when a day later she found herself nestled between Seokjin who was engrossed in mixing the whipped cream, and a languid Yoongi who had been tasked with handing out ingredients for some unfathomable reason.

The maknaes were busy preparing the dorm in the interim during which Hoseok had found an excuse to lug Namjoon away on a faux errand. Ji Ah couldn't help but be distracted, her eyes roaming over the duplex that served as Bangtan's residence.

Cream couches and shiny black cushions took up most of the space in the living room, a transparent partition cordoning off the kitchen that she now stood in. A hallway branched to the side, cocooning a couple of rooms which were most likely studios gauging by the glass doors etched with names. Sketches and frames embellished the walls and from Ji Ah's position, she could discern the labels as signifying Namjoon and Yoongi's workspaces.

Another small corridor led to bedrooms, one on each side and a staircase spiraled upwards to the second floor which housed the rest of the rooms. The house was relatively organized, no doubt in an effort to appear immaculate and spotless for Ji Ah's benefit. She was pulled out of her reverie by a puff of powder pluming into the air and she turned to watch Seokjin kneading the dough. A drawing of Koya had been pinned to a board placed opposite the table to provide them easy access to his features.

"Almost there," Seokjin was saying and Ji Ah turned her attention to creating the layers of chocolate and cream that would go into the mix. "Just a little more and then we're left with Koya's silhouette."

It took all of two hours to finally perfect the shape of the cake, and Ji Ah felt pride prickling her skin as she studied the finished product. The time drawing close to midnight, she glanced at the clock, knowing that Namjoon and Hoseok would be returning anytime soon.

"I should leave," she said, her eyes appreciating the Koya-shaped slab placed atop the counter for Seokjin's inspection. Ji Ah couldn't deny it; she had enjoyed the little excursion, almost reveling in the fact that her effort had gone into ensuring a smile appeared on Namjoon's face when his eyes landed on the cake.

The oldest member looked at her dubiously, a frown on his face. "I think not. You're staying."

Ji Ah's eyes widened and she tried to back away. "But-"

Seokjin grabbed her elbow, holding her in place as he continued to shake his head firmly. "No buts. I would like you to stay." A hint of a beam manifested on his face and Ji Ah registered his next words even before he uttered them. "And so would Namjoon."

Seokjin didn't leave her much of a choice and Ji Ah wondered how many times it had been now; how many times of trying to avoid intimate contact with Namjoon and how many times of miserably failing to do so. It was starting to become a convoluted pattern, one which Ji Ah had been afraid of since the start. It's okay, she assured herself fervently, we've decided to remain friends, so this should be okay.

Warding off negative thoughts, Ji Ah dived into other tasks, such as helping the members with decorating the dorm and shutting out any unneeded contemplations. It wasn't long before Hoseok called Yoongi to inform them that they had reached the apartment block and the members descended into a flurry of activity. Chairs were pushed to the side and crockery was whipped out, traces of surreptitious activity wiped clean from the surfaces of tables and other cutlery.

Jimin tucked a number of candles into the cake, cradling it in his arms as they all moved towards the door to surprise Namjoon. Ji Ah tried to blend into the shadows generated by the dim lights, but Taehyung tugged at her arm and pulled her to stand with them. Her brain whizzed as anxiety cloyed every pore of her body. The videographer almost laughed at the ridiculous emotions surging through her when a whiff of smoke tickled her nose. She sniffed, her eyes tracing the room and landing on Jimin as they identified the source.

The cake was on fire.

                                   ***

Namjoon had a slight inkling of what to expect, knowing that his members were cooking something, quite literally. What he hadn't expected however, was the sight of utter chaos when Hoseok pushed the door open.

The first thing, or rather person, that struck him was Ji Ah, a mingled expression of horror and disbelief marring her face. For the life of him, he couldn't comprehend why she was in their dorm but that was before his eyes were arrested by the sight of his members cluttered in the middle of the living room, fanning away at an object in Jimin's arms.

Something was on fire.

Smalls tendrils of smoke were beginning to curl upwards, forming wisps in the space and Taehyung arrived with a pint of water, seemingly to douse the blazing item.

"Don't!" Seokjin shouted, holding Taehyung at arm's length as Jimin quickly set the burning object on the floor. "You'll ruin the cake!"

Well, at least now Namjoon knew what was on fire. His cake which they had obviously baked for his birthday.

"I don't think it's possible to ruin the cake more than it's already been ruined," Yoongi pointed out in a small attempt to lighten the situation. Jungkook had finally succeeded in putting the fire out and upon inching closer Namjoon could discern the last vestiges of Koya's features withering away pathetically due to the heat.

Jimin looked at him, a twinge of sorrow piercing his gut. "Sorry, Hyung! I must've tilted the candles and caused them to fall over and set the cake on fire." A rather dejected expression clouded the younger man's eyes and Namjoon couldn't help but pull him into a hug.

"Jimin-ah, the fact that you guys thought of this is more than enough," he assured him but Jimin shook his head, whipping it in Ji Ah and Seokjin's direction.

"But Hyung and Noona worked so hard on this and I feel terrible!" Jimin stated woefully. Namjoon's eyes widened at that knowledge but before he could utter a word, Seokjin moved to comfort the crestfallen young man.

"Don't worry about it, Jiminie," he said softly, ruffling his hair with a smile. "What's important is you're unhurt."

Ji Ah nodded, a grin spreading over her features which seemed enhanced in the dimness of the room. "He's right. And a cake can be replaced, but you're irreplaceable, Jimin."

"Damn right," Namjoon agreed with her and the pair shared a smile. "And besides, it's the feeling that counts, right?"

"Hey! Aren't you forgetting that I helped too?" Yoongi complained causing the others to laugh.

"If by help you mean yawn and pass around the wrong ingredients more than once, then sure," Seokjin said sweetly and the rapper merely shrugged.

The corners of Jimin's mouth began to turn upwards though his eyes still retained a sad expression. "But I'm going to make it up to you!" Without another word, he grabbed a surprised Taehyung and dragged him out of the dorm. Namjoon's face scrunched in question but the others were as clueless as he was.

Not more than half an hour had elapsed when Jimin and Taehyung returned, hauling a box into the living room. Upon lifting the lid, Namjoon's face shone with glee when he saw what it was: a cake in the shape of a crab.

"I remembered a 24/7 bakery right around the corner which is famous for selling cakes in the shapes of animals and crabs and I thought you'd like it," Jimin explained, his liveliness resurfacing, "seeing as how you seem to be fascinated with the latter."

The members burst out laughing and Namjoon embraced Jimin once again. Ji Ah smiled, watching Namjoon make a wish and stuff cake into their mouths. "Have I ever told you how much I love you guys?"

Yoongi snorted, swallowing a mouthful of cake. "You can start now. Let's see if you can beat my rapping record."

Seokjin chortled at this and Namjoon shook his head, his palm balancing a piece of cake which he held out towards Ji Ah. She accepted it, a strange fondness glinting in her eyes.

"It makes me happy to see you content," she said softly so only the rapper could hear. "I wish you nothing but the best, Joon-ah."

Ji Ah's old nickname for him didn't astonish him anymore and Namjoon smiled, watching her lick her fingers clean of the icing. "I'm glad you're here, too," he replied, his gaze not leaving her face. And he realized how true those words were when he said them. He really was happy to share this moment with her.

Ji Ah maintained eye-contact, a sudden strength coursing through her. Was this them finally leaving the past behind?

Or was it something else?

But Ji Ah didn't wait to find out, muttering how she needed to leave and that So Min would be wondering where she was. Namjoon didn't stop her as he watched her go, held up momentarily by Seokjin so he could wrap some cake for her friend. The apartment door slammed with a thud and Namjoon finally released the breath he didn't even realize he had been holding.

Once the celebrations concluded, the rapper tumbled into his bed, fulfillment washing over him like the lulling waves of the sea. But try as he might, he couldn't stop thinking about Ji Ah, a familiar feeling beginning to knot at the pit of his stomach. Her presence tonight had put things into perspective, especially when he realized how happy he had been to see her and how disappointed he was when she had to leave.

And Namjoon didn't know if he wanted to fight these feelings anymore, if that is what the searing sensation in his chest was whenever he saw Ji Ah: unbridled emotion.

As if on cue, his phone began to buzz and he held it up confusedly. Who could it be at almost 2 AM? His family and some of his friends had already called and his puzzlement was further augmented when he glanced at the caller id.

'Vexing Camera Lady'.

His brows wrinkled as he pushed the answer button, unable to recall saving someone's number under such a name.

"Kim Namjoon," a familiar voice called out and Namjoon sat bolt upright in bed, almost knocking over the various Ryan dolls perched on the headboard as he recognized Ji Ah's voice. "I just realized something."

His lips quivered, any substantial reply slipping through his twitchy nerves. The rapper finally found his voice after a few seconds of intense struggling. "Hong Ji Ah?"

"The one and only," she chuckled, her voice resonating pleasantly in his eardrums. "I wasn't sure if you'd be awake."

"I am," Namjoon replied, sounding calmer than he felt. "I was just about to crash though."

Silence hung on the other end of the line when Ji Ah's voice preened through it. "What's stopping you? Thoughts of me keeping you up perhaps?"

Namjoon could clearly discern the teasing lilt in her tone. If only she knew. But he laughed it off, nursing his phone in the crook between his ear and shoulder as he relaxed. "What if I was? Would you return to land me a swift kick on the torso like the time we first met?"

Ji Ah had clearly been unprepared for such a retort for she faltered but only briefly. "I would if your album press conference didn't hinge on your ability to address the audience in one piece." Namjoon could hear her chuckling softly and he allowed himself to smile.

"So what was it that you realized?" he asked, guiding the conversation back on track.

"Ah, yes. I realized that I hadn't wished you yet," the woman replied and Namjoon's lips twitched in wry amusement. "Happy Birthday, Kim Namjoon!"

He laughed, thanking her when a query popped into his head. "When did you save your number onto my phone and vice versa?" A suspicion had already sneaked into his mind but he wanted confirmation.

"Ah, that. During our little scuffle with the pickpocket. That's when I did it," Ji Ah answered, her voice chipper.

"The nickname's pretty apt, seeing as how you've been nothing but trouble for me," Namjoon joked lightly, running his fingers through his hair. He heard Ji Ah laugh, imagining her twirling strands of her brunette locks. But the image was disconcerting and the rapper didn't think that she would actually ever do it.

"I guess I was right to use it," she remarked. "Goodnight then, Namjoon." Her voice had grown soft, breathy even and the rapper found himself memorizing the tone of it.

"Goodnight, Ji Ah."

And before he could change his mind, he erased the name under which her number had been saved, replacing it with a new one. Smiling to himself, Namjoon typed in the letters, wondering how Ji Ah would react if she knew what she had come to mean to him.

'My Awakening'.