Valentines Day
Today is February 14th, 2023... Better known as Valentines Day.
Growing up I was always a fan of the Day of Love. I always looked forward to it knowing damn well I wasn't getting anything... But this year was different... Or at least I thought it would be... Me and Adrien had been dating for almost a year now, Not to mention our One Year Anniversary is on The 23rd. I figured we'd both do something for one another.
Me and Adrien had discussions in the past about how I always felt like I was the one Taking the wheel in our relationship, Still now, Adrien never calls me unless something is wrong or something happened, I rarely get texts outside of school unless I start the conversation, Not to mention Saturday I went to His house and we just played Battleship and he showed me his weapon collection. and we Cuddled because I asked... Not to mention the fact that I Slightly Requested we embark on More romantic Conquest and he laughed and Said "What!?" Laughing as if I was his super straight best friend who said he wanted to flatten him against some sort of furniture. It was Stupid.
What do You mean "What lol" I'm Your boyfriend! We've been Dating for almost a year now and We've kissed more times as friends than we have dating! Not also to mention that... I was upset when I went to his house Sunday. The reason being. On the way there my mom made me google a word. The Word was "Platonic". She made me google it and tell her what it means twice, and if you dont know Platonic Means it basically means Intimate or Affectionate but Not Sexual. I thought to myself... Is this the Universe trying to tell me that My relationship is Just Platonic... I explained this to Adrien and His response to me was... "Noooooo it wont always be like thaaat. We are just taking things sloow" And No offense but honey. If your man is On his phone 24/7 and doesn't think to text you on a day to every other day basis something is wrong, when your man is treating you like more of a friend then a boyfriend then something is wrong. Nobody should chase behind anybody. and if he aint chasing you as much as your chasing him then something is wrong. You evidently aint doing something right. because thats side piece energy. and I aint nobody side kick.
Lets be real... This is Year 2023... We are teenagers. If you've been dating somebody for a Year and you still aint seen ANYTHING below the waistline. thats shocking... You are either Geno-phobic or you just aren't into that person.
Me personally, I could care less... I believe a relationship should be about more than just Sexual Proclamations or Achievements, and If its true we are just "Taking things slow" what exactly is your definition of "Slow"... If I were talking to my therapist right now she'd be like... "Communication is important with Adrien, If you truly feel like he's treating you this and that way it is important to communicate and talk to him about these things."
Adrien just has been holding up a lot of red flags lately, Saturday night before i left i asked him what he had to do the next day (Super bowl Sunday) and he told me "Nothing just chilling out" but then Come Sunday I text him asking if I could come over again and he's like... "I dont know ememmememmm" Like What? So I decided to hang up and text him because this man is not finna mumble under his breath to me. And I text him and he's like "Well My parents are going to a neighbors house to watch the super bowl and I have Something to do" and this Highly Upset me. However I did not question it. Because! Just a week ago we had one of those communication talks my therapist told me about... Usually when someone touches or gets close to Adrien I be ready to bite their heads off... But I asked Adrien about how he felt about my Overprotective, Clingy-ness, And he says... "Eh I'm used to it... I just wanna be let out the cage you know what im talking bout" and im just blown away by this. Me not letting people touch you or get your number or stand 2 inches in your face is keeping you in a CAGE!??? ok then. So The next day I'm reading my book and I see Adrien's Friend Dee Shaking him By the shoulders... One day like 2 months ago I saw them Butt heads and then a week later they went to an ROTC Party without telling me anything but Adrien couldn't come to homecoming with me. I always suspected something between those two but every time I'd cry about it to Adrien he'd tell me nothings going on there and that Him and Dee are just friends. Well when I saw Dee shaking Adrien's shoulders me and Adrien made DIRECT Eye contact. And Everything in me wanted to get up and say "WHY THE HELL ARE YOUR FILTHY HANDS ON MY MAN'S SHOULDERS" but no. Adrien wants to be let out the cage. If he is a good boyfriend he will tell Dee to not touch him. He should know right from wrong. But he didn't and I just continued reading my book because At this point what am I supposed to do. I'm doing everything I can to be a good boyfriend but 90% of the time your talking to everyone except me! but its ok... Sometimes you get sick and tired of walking around the hall ways and seeing cute couple's Holding hands and these aren't just your ordinary couple's no these are 2 girls swinging around like they are newly weds and lets not forget that one couple that shows up to school every morning holding hands... Mannn if I had a Dime for every time i held Adrien's hand id have 10 Cents. And once again We've been dating for a YEAR. How slow is slow! But anyways right...
Valentines Day...
I woke this morning Hoping for the best... I had a small amount of flowers, and a Shimmering dazzling red heart with red glitter all over it... It was pretty cute. and I came to school to present these Items to Adrien because on the day of love all you should be focused on is the person you love. and so I arrived to find out hes in the bathroom... I go in there and he's brushing his hair down... I stand there and wait to see if he's gonna say Happy Valentines day and His first words to me was... "Oh uh hey im just brushing my hair down, I forgot my comb so yeah" As he slowly walks out the bathroom. And I'm Just like... Wha?! What! No Happy Valentines Day?! No Hug?! No Kiss?! Not even a pat on the shoulder?! What!! SO I was hurt but I let it be. Then I went to my booksack and took out the Heart and Flowers I brought for him... and I show them to him and he just chuckles and says "Wow... too bad I dont have room in my booksack for 'em just hold on to 'em for me." Did he just reject my gift without saying he didn't want it. I mean come on. really? Then The Boo Grams Come... If you dont know what Boo Gram's are they are like this valentines candy thing you can send to someone you love or care about... I had did two. One for Adrien, And Sadly... One for myself Addressed from Adrien.
I know I know It sounds Pathetic... Why didn't my bf just get me one, They were only 2 Dollars. Honestly, I dont know you guys... Even after I pasted by him on the way to 2nd Hour he's over here talking to Caleb and Doesn't even acknowledge me even with the Boo Gram in his hand. I mean I was just dissed for Valentines day. But I Guess its ok.
I showed up to lunch all sad and depressed because of all this... and because of the fact this basically backs up the statement "Platonic" and the fact that he's treating me as a friend more than a bf ON Valentines day. And then he Has the AUDACITY to ask me... "Is something wrong babe" and im just like in my mind "OF COURSE SOMETHING IS WRONG YOU DIDNT GIVE TWO CRAPS ABOUT ME ON VALENTINES DAY AND YOU GOT AND GAVE ME NOTHING! NOTHING I SAY NOT EVEN AN I LOVE YOU!" But to him I said "I'm Fine." And he spent the rest of lunch talking to his friends. I didn't even see him after school.
But I guess you can say that it ended well-fully because I went to my Tuesday afternoon meeting and learned how to play a very unique and intricate game called Magic The Gathering. My Geometry teacher happens to be a Wizard at the game... No pun intended and he's like a ultimate pro... Just kidding I dont know how he'd feel about me telling you he's a pro so don't take my advice. but it was super cool and it lifted my mood by a whopping 95%.
As far as my relationship goes... Adrien says we are just taking things slow... So my hopes is that things will get better... Just In...
A Matter of Time.