13

I woke up in the backseat of the car, Rei nowhere to be seen. "Why have we?" I asked in a panicked state. It feels like deja vu, all over again. Thoughts of that tragic day; my deceased parents, Toki- everything bubbles to the surface. Pestering uneasily around, as if it have the right to do so. "Calm down! I'm just refilling the engine. Rei went to take a leak, and Hachioji is getting some takeaways. We're half way there. If my calculations is correct we'll be arriving at ten," Heike informed me with a smile as he slides down into the driver's seat. Just as Rei joined us, my phone rang. I gave one look at the caller-id and handed it over towards Ogami. "Yes, Yuuki? I'm afraid not. She doesn't want to talk to anybody right now. No, sorry bro- that even includes you. I'm as serious as a heart attack! It's complicated. What? Ha, you're so full of shit. Yeah, goodbye." I looked at him confused as he held the phone out to me. I wish I knew what their conversation had been about. "Who was that?" Hachioji asked as she handed a brown paper bag to each of us. "That was our boy Yuuki. He's quite suspicious you know. Presuming that his the reason why she's so brittle." My breath caught up in my throat. I clung to the bear which were just as blue as me. Giving way to another bucket of unwelcomed tears. "I'm sorry Scarlett, but apparently his not as green as you might think," Rei looked at me, gently rubbing my back. I gasped uncontrollably and cried myself to sleep. Dreamland slightly spat me out, I was being carried. Night laid me down on my bed. I'm clinging to the bear for dear life, afraid that someone might separate us. I'm feeling like such a kid. Throwing my life away for some guy- but then again his not just any guy. He's the one whom I love. The one who got away. The one I will never have.

The sun's greedy fingers woke me from my slumber. I had a dream about Yuuki last night. In my dream he kissed me, and he touched me. His fingers had exploded every inch of my body. His lips had left a smooth trail of kisses along my skin. He had entered me and robbed me of my innocence. The dream was still fresh on my mind, turning my cheeks rosie. If this is the only way for us to be together, I guess, we'll just have to meet up in my fantasies after day is done. It won't be able to satisfy me for to long, but this way I know that he's mine. "I've heard that you had a breakdown. Are you doing okay?" Toki asked as he entered the room. "What's it to you? You've dumped me, remember?" I stated sarcastically. I looked up still holding onto the bear that Yuuki bought. "I'm sorry that it had to come to that, Scarlett. It was never my intention to hurt you, but when I saw Dawn I that I weren't over her, not by a long run. I didn't think that it would be fair to you. I wouldn't have been able to love you completely. I'm glad that we've broke it off-" I looked up at him shocked. Did I really mean so little to him? "Shit, no! You're miss understanding me. I've enjoyed every last second with you. I proud to have called you my girlfriend. If we were to get married like Jess had wanted. The truth about Dawn had surfaced and you got aware of your feelings for Yuuki, it most likely would've been catastrophic. Don't you think?" Toki walked closer, sat down beside me and embraced me with a hug. "I really don't get it, for you're more beautiful than she is," Toki whispered into my ear. Thus made me shed some newly formed tears. "Really-? What are you even doing in here? You made her start crying again." Rei asked metaphorically, taking a stand in the doorway. "Yes, really! I came to give my gratitude. And apologize for my own cruel actions. I didn't mean to make her cry. I will always love her even when old age moves in and rob her from her fairness. If it wasn't for Dawn I would've married this girl," Toki said. He didn't loosen his warm embrace around me. I didn't know that he felt so strongly about me. If he could've only cocooned me with his love, I would have married even if it wasn't for love. Even if it wasn't Yuuki. Half a loaf is better than none. And I would have never been lonely. I would have been loved. It's more than I say now.