Chapter 32

Hillary's POV

We're now at Doctor Fajardo's office, he's the neurologist that Doctor Bonifacio said earlier. Everyone is still worried about Sun's condition, even I. I really am wanting to burst in tears, but I've been holding it. Alam kong gagaling si Sun, I know he's strong.

"Sun has been visiting me to ask for a pain killer," Doc Fajardo said.

"Pain killer? Bakit hindi na lang gamot sa sakit niya ang hingiin ni Sun, Doc?" Tito-Dad asked with knitted brows.

"Iyon na nga ho, Mr. Abellera. I've been telling him na sabihin na sa inyo 'yong sakit niya habang 'di pa ito lumalala at para mabigyan siya ng gamot, but he also keeps on telling me not to," sagot naman nito.

"Ba't ayawn niya?" Sky asked. I took a deep breath as I looked at him. This man needs to be strong and now that he's in too much pain, I swear I'll never leave him.

"He doesn't want your parents na maglabas ng pera. The operation is too expensive and the medicines, too, ayaw niyang mamroblema 'yong parents niyo," the Doctor said.

God! Pera lang naman 'yon! They got a lot of it! Tsk, ayan tuloy nag suffer siya alone! Sun naman, eh.

Tito-Dad shook his head, "ang batang 'yon. Kahit kailan kasi 'di 'yon nanghihingi ng pera sa'min, hinihintay lang na magbigay kami as well as his twin. Pero, may karapatan naman kaming malaman 'yong sakit niya at ipagamot siya, ba't kailangan niya pang ilihim!" he uttered.

"Ba't 'di niyo na lang sinabi sa'min, Doc, without telling him?" Tita Sam asked.

"To tell you honestly, Mrs. Abellera, I've been wanting to tell it to you, he's a minor, and you really have the right to know about his health, but Sun warned me that he'll take suicide if that happens."

What the hell? S-Suicide? Sh*t, I've never known Sun got that kind of thought! N-Nakakatakot.

"Actually, being suicidal is the symptom of his illness that's why I no longer do my plan na sabihin 'yong karamdaman niya sa inyo because I know he'll never hesitate to do it," the Doctor continued. "I really am so sorry, everyone," he bowed down to show his sincerity.

"Gagaling pa siya, 'di ba?" Sky asked.

"Doctor Bonifacio is the best neurologist here. I know he'll do everything para mapagaling ang kakambal mo," he replied. "I need to excuse myself now dahil may pasyente pa po ako. I am praying for Sun's fast recovery," he then went out of his office.

Veia and Tita Sam started crying again. I am about to hug Veia, but Sky suddenly went out.

"Hillary, please follow him," Tito-Dad said while he's busy taking care of the two.

I immediately followed Sky and he went to the chapel. I sat beside him and his now weeping. "Hillary..." this is the first time I heard him uttered my name feeling so down, "bakit ang selfless ni Sun? Bakit kami pa 'yong iniisip niya instead of thinking about himself and his condition?" he asked in tears.

"Masyado kasi kayong mabait," I answered. "Minsan may negative effect din pala," I added.

He never speaks again. He's just crying and crying. I caressed his back and I started muttering, "alam mo ba na nag-usap kami ni Sun two days ago about our conversation that he had forgotten?"

He wiped his tears and looked at me with confusion, "ha?" he asked.

I smiled as I started telling him what happened two days ago.

I am at the school's canteen when Sun approached me, "bakit? Looking for Veia? I saw her with Driana earlier," sabi ko sa kaniya.

"I am not looking for her. Ikaw 'yong gusto kong makausap," he said. I really am so wondering why he wants to talk to me, so I said yes.

We went to their mini tree house. He even offers his hand to help me went inside. "Ano ba 'yong sasabihin mo?" I asked him so soon baka kasi may maligaw rito at makita kaming dalawa, maissue pa kami.

"I'm sorry," he replied and my brow arched up. "Hillary, I've seen your last message for me saying you'll transfer school just to be with me," he added.

Sobrang nagulat ako. Akala ko nakalimutan niya na. God! Hindi ko alam kung saan ko itatago ang sarili ko sa kahihiyan!

"P-Paano mo 'yon nakita?" I asked.

"I accidentally clicked the filtered messages on my Facebook and I saw your name... I was really surprised, I-I didn't know we got a conversation," nakalimutan nga niya. W-wow! "Hillary, as I am reading our conversation, I started remembering about it."

Hindi ko alam kung ano 'yong sasabihin ko. Iyong mararamdaman ko. Damn! Mas gugustuhin ko pang 'di niya na lang 'yon naalala.

"I'll be honest, all those words I've said were true. I know that I was a jerk, but those concerns and sweet words were all true," he uttered again.

I gasped and said, "true, Sun, true? Kinalimutan mo nga, eh!"

"That's why I'm sorry."

Sorry? Damn that sorry!

"Sun, for once, did you ever get interested in me?" oh, sh*t, Hillary, where did you get your guts to ask him about that?! Sh*t!

"I was."

And the place was filled with deafening silence.

"I have once liked you for who you are, Hillary," he uttered again.

Magiging masaya ba ako na nagustuhan niya ako noon? O magiging malungkot ako dahil noon niya lang ako nagustuhan? God, enlighten me, please!

"But, I was slowly falling in love with someone else."

"Ano? Gusto mo 'ko, pero nahuhulog ka naman sa iba? Damn, ang labo mo, Sun!"

"I was really happy knowing that you like me, pero nagulat ako nang bigla ka na lang nawala and you even blocked me kaya 'di na kita nareplyan pa," he said that staring straight in my eyes!

And, I...I was so stupid! Sinabi ko kay Sky na bigla siyang nawala no'ng sinabi kong gusto ko siya, pero ang totoo, I left him. Natakot ako na baka hindi niya rin ako magustuhan. Natakot ako na masaktan ng sobra.

"I was half dead at that time, Hillary. Hindi ko alam 'yong rason kung ba't ka umalis, hindi ko alam 'yong rason kung bakit matapos mong sabihing gusto mo 'ko nawala ka. Sobrang saya ko no'n, eh. Nang mabasa ko 'yon plinano kong makipagkita sa'yo personally. I want to know you more because...I was planning to court you. Pero, ano? Naglaho rin 'yon nang mawala ka."

Sh*t, sh*t, sh*t! Stupid, Hillary! Nagustuhan ka na pala, eh, muntik nang ligawan, but you're a damn coward! You took a risk already for telling him your feelings, why you didn't take another one? Ba't hindi mo man lang hinintay 'yong sagot niya? Damn it!!

"And, Veia, she's my companion. She helped me to overcome the pain. The rest is history. Until I fell for her. Tapos isang araw nagmessage ka ulit, asking if kamusta na ako. Hindi na ako nagreply kasi tinapos ko na 'yong nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. Nag message ka naman, but I ignored it already para 'di ko na makita 'yong message mo. I focused myself on Veia hanggang sa 'di ko namalayan na nakalimutan na kita, hindi lang 'yong nararamdaman ko para sa'yo, pero ikaw rin mismo nakalimutan ko."

Pero, ang weird! He knows my name, I am using my real name on Facebook. Dapat no'ng lumipat na ako naalala niya na ako. Grabe naman 'yong paglimot niya parang na amnesia naman siya.

"Kaya nang mabasa ko ulit 'yong convo natin, no'n ko lang napagtanto na I was so insensitive. Pero, hindi mo na naman ako gusto, 'di ba?"

Sh*t! Anong isasagot ko? The heck, let's be honest.

"G-Gusto pa rin kita, pero don't worry nagmomove on na ako," I uttered it teary-eyed. Kanina pa ako nagpipigil, eh, ang sakit na ng lalamunan ko!

He comes close to me and he hugged me right away, "I really am so sorry, Hillary. I hope you'll forgive me soon," he whispered as he's caressing my back. Yes, I no longer want myself to suffer, umiyak na ako nang umiyak.

"S-Sino ba ako para 'di ka patawarin?" I uttered between my sobs. Kasalanan ko rin naman, eh. Kahit saang anggulo tignan ako 'yong mali.

Ako na mismo 'yong kumalas sa pagkakayakap niya at umalis na ako agad. Umuwi ako ng bahay at doon ako umiyak pa nang umiyak. I ditch class. Wala rin akong maiintindihan kung papasok pa ako.

"Pero, ngayon, Sky, naintidihan ko na kung bakit nakalimutan niya ako," I said in tears, "he's sick and now, he still not awakens."

"Shhh," this time, Sky caressed my back.

I embraced Sky and uttered, "kakayanin natin 'tong lahat. Kayanin mo rin, Sky, ha, basta andito lang ako," and I felt his arm embracing me back.

We'll surely conquer this damn challenge we're facing.