Chapter 19

"Sir!" Jarvis calls to attention as he notices the body of the girl in question take a step off the building falling.

"Yes, I see her!" Stark pushed the thrusters faster as her body accelerated to lethal levels while his approached hers.

"STARK!" The voice of Banner rang out in comms.

"I KNOW!" He got closer and closer and as she reached the fourth story.

Cindy PoV

My body whispered out to me about danger, telling me to dodge just like all those years ago when a bullet entered my shoulder.

I ignored it, knowing the danger coming. No regret came to my mind as I feel but a tackle by something hard and metallic made me loose the air in my lungs as something cracked.

"Got you!" The voice of Tony Stark filled my ears as I can't help but feel anger. 'How dare you!'

"Let me go!" I tried to struggle but I'm too weak and I think he cracked a rib.

"No, now stop struggling!" He yelled as I felt dead tired, I'm at a point where I feel absolutely devoid of everything. Nothing matters, my struggle stopped.

As we gave a turn and landed, he placed me on the roof I previously was. He let me go and I just stumbled a little and ended up falling as my legs gave out.

"Banner tell everyone, I got her." Tony said before her looked at me.

"Kid-" His voice brought me back to attention as anger reignited the energy in my body.

"You! YOU!" He got close to me as anger and spite gave me energy to stand up and walk up to him. "HOW DARE YOU!" I released a punch at him but the punch did nothing except a loud clang rang out.

"I expected more damage." My fist didn't even leave a dent, showing my weakness. I punched again "YOU!" and again "I DONT WANT TO LIVE!" He grabbed my left wrist to stop me from punching him again, but I punch again with my remaining arm and he grabs my other wrist. "WHY!?" I pause to glare at him "I DONT WANT TO FEEL PAIN! I DONT WANT TO BE HUNGRY! I NEED TO DIE TO BE HAPPY!" I'm openly crying as I attempt to struggle, my gaze goes to my feet.

"I only wanted a family to want me." My voice comes in a whisper as tears and snot run down my cheeks. "I, I-ah wa- want ma-my mo-mommy!" I begin to bawl "The one I had when I was four!" My legs give out as he lets me go.

"Shit, I don't know what to do!" He said as I kept wailing and crying, until I fell on my back and the edges in my vision, darken. My voice sounds far away as a far cry from my voice.

"-id! -ILK!"

3rd person POV

"Stark!?" The voice of Dr. Banner rang out in the comms."Stark WHAT HAPPENED?" The worry and answer com

"Yes, I'm here."

"What happened, is she-"

"She's, safe, she's not okay. But she's safe."

"Can I talk to her?"

"She's a little indisposed at the moment." Stark's answer came with doubt as he looked at the girl lying unconscious.

"What do you mean by that?" Banner's voice came with anger and worry much the surprise of Tony.

"She's unconscious; Jarvis says her vitals are good. But, she's unconscious." He said as he looked around to find the backpack and the

headpiece on the ground. "Didn't know this little guy had this much range." Tony said as he placed the comm in the backpack, followed by being careful with the rabbit plushy. It looks old and dirty, the blood stains on the light blue suit make it clear it went through a lot of things, it has black on some parts of its white fur, the pink looks a bit brown.

"So you're Mr. Bunny?" He said as he promptly and carefully made sure that the plushy is now safely inside the backpack. Silk, looks like she's not waking up. Her face I didn't notice before but she is really young, hell she is a natural beauty worth of jealousy, she could even be a model for all I know. But right now, she's just a scared lonely kid looking in this world. Grabbing the backpack and safely placing it over her stomach where he noticed the bandages around her stomach. 'So she did receive some first aid.'

"I'm going back to the tower, wake up the other two." He said as he took her in a princess carry carefully lifting her and taking off as J.A.R.V.I.S. made sure the flight was on course and no issues would come from carrying her as he had to use the stabilizers in bursts.

As he arrived he noticed that he already has people waiting and Pepper is waiting as well, the moment he landed Barton practically ran towards him and with care similar to a doll he took her from his arms. "Thank you." Tony got taken aback by the tone of his voice.

"Clint, there is a bed on the upper floor." Pepper noted as she began to walk towards the after mentioned room, Tony sighed as he walked towards the landing pad where he could remove his suit.

"What a mess am I right?" Natasha said as she noticed how Stark left to remove his suit, leaving only herself and Dr. Banner with her for a few minutes. But Banner didn't answer as his eyes looked narrowed and his pen is being held tightly. "Bruce?"

"Not nOW!" His voice rose in volume as part of his neck turned green for a second, he struggled for a bit before he was back to normal. "You know bullets make him angrier right?" Banner quipped with a smirk on his lips as he noticed how agent Romanoff has her hand on her lower back.

"Rig-"

"Thought for a sec you might go green again Doc." Stark announced his precense as he walked into the room, in his hands is the chest piece of the armor he just used looking intensely at the red spots that clearly had blood on them.

"Is tha-"

"Yes..." He interrupted her as he noticed that there are no dents, just the imprint of her fist. "She lost her powers."

"What do you mean? We saw her practically destroy Chitauri and Leviathans with her bare hands." Natasha noted as her gaze kept Banner in her sight.

"Tony!" Pepper made her way now without Clint. "Oh, Clint decided to stay behind to look over her." She reached the small table they were gathered around. "Listen, she needs a doctor. Also Clint asked if you could help to change the bandages she has." She noted to Natasha as she only nodded, her gaze turned to Banner who looked in deep thought.

"Right." She walked towards the room where she noticed Clint standing near the bed, reclined against the wall looking at the girl that made them reach their physical limit.

"How is she?" Her voice is quiet as she noticed how shocked her friend is.

"She's... there... I was scared for the first time in a long time."

"I noticed... what did she do to make you so attached?"

"She, well, she has that way of being around people... she's happy and makes everyone around her happy... it's just when we began training she was annoying." He looked to the girl who is currently curled up into a ball. "She just looked, so cocky and full of happiness; her kind nature just surprised me more than it should've. She also cooked for me and when I got to know her, she reminded me of a lot of things from my past."

"So you saw yourself in her?"

"Not really but at the same time yes. She's looking for a better way to live, but for some fucked up reason she gets the short end of the stick, which is why I'm reminded of myself. When I look at her I remember those nights where I spent sleeping in alleys, bridges... I don't want her to live what I went through... she managed for a while and I thought she would be fine, but just like me she's clearly in need of help." He rubbed his eyes. "She had friends, we talked to that girl Erica, but she said that she got in a fight with her, but she was worried about her... her other friends I have no idea what happened."

"Girls and friendships are unpredictable."

"Yeah... thankfully we found her in time, guess this whole Avengers thing works..." She lightly smiled.

"Seems so." The silence grew heavy both enjoyed the silence as the breathing of the girl shook and she began to cry.

"Mom, please. Not there..." She cried which made Clint rush up to her, but not knowing what to do Natasha took over placing her hand on her head and slowly patted her hair. "I'm sorry, I'll do anything."

"It's okay, you're okay." Natasha said calmly. "She reminds me of her." Natasha added clearly referring to the family she had to leave behind.

"She has that pull towards her, right?"

"... Yeah." Natasha said as the tears kept coming but no longer were they coming steadily, after a few minutes the door opened slowly making almost no noise, Steve slowly walked in to look over his momentary teammate.

"Is she?"

"She's safe." Clint answered.

"You need to hear this." Before they exited the room Bruce entered the room holding an IV and saline. He stopped mid step into the room staring at the usually cheery and smiling girl now curled up, his teeth clenched as he felt anger at not being able to notice what his friend was going through, and now just staring at the aftermath that luckily was prevented. The footage from Tony and the audio recording was so heartbreaking to him that the other guy almost came out. Which is why he had to walk away and find something to do, luckily Stark Tower had these types of supplies for emergencies and this event counted as one.

"Jarvis said she's probably dehydrated, also Steve here wants to talk about something." Bruce said as he walked towards the bed where he took notice of the bandages as her shirt rolled up a bit revealing her bandages need to be switched. "Miss Romanoff can you help me changing her bandages?"

"I thought you weren't that kind of doctor."

"I'm not, but I know the basics, I did take four years of med school, a little hard to forget them." He said as he extended her arm, taking notice of the state of her malnutrition. He inserted the needle followed by placing the bag in the correct position and connecting it to the inserted needle in order for her to not suffer dehydration. Natasha and Bruce were careful cutting the bandages since they couldn't wake her up.

"Jesus." Bruce noticed his forearm went green for a second making Natasha swallow with effort, her injury is deep, the muscle is exposed but it looks like her healing stopped, she searched for the stab wound.

"She got stabbed, here." She signaled to her back motioning to the blood on that spot making Bruce's eyes glow as his face turned into a scowl.

"That's where the pancreas is." He said as he remembered what Tony said. "Her powers are gone because she's healing... she needs calories." Bruce added as he remembered how she said she made web. "She spent her energy in healing her pancreas, that is a critical part of the body, its why this isn't healing... from the pus gathered in the gauzes she has an infection forming... Her body needs to work overtime to keep her alive and healing her."

"You were able to determine that from?"

"From listening to her, she said she sprained her ankle but the videos show her running after taking down the leviathan, so she can heal at a reduced rate. In the restaurant she said her web comes from calories consumed so her source of web and healing comes from calories working to heal her."

"You know you just gave us the answer to how her powers work right? Shield has tried to find out how her powers work and how she got them. We don't have the latter one but it helps to know how her powers work." After replacing the gauze and bandages both turned to the rest that were long gone, Natasha yawned loudly as the entire day caught up to her.

"You should get some sleep."

"No can do doc, we need to watch over her." Bruce groaned in pain as he grabbed his head.

"I'll stay." Bruce's eyes widened as that wasn't his voice, which made Natasha jump back as Bruce Banner became the Hulk his clothes minus pants shredded thsmselves as Hulk took his place.

"Hulk, are you..."

"I look over, everyone rest." He took a seat which made the entire room shake, he gave no option to talk as she walked out in clear fright, the moment she turned towards the stairs everyone was already on their way up even Steve with his shield in hand and Clint with his bow and a few arrows on his hand.

"Did he?" Stark asked as his chest piece was assembled around him and glowing.

"Yes."

"Is he?"

"He will watch over her, told me to get some rest."

"Why did no one told me of this?" Steve asked with a scowl.

"Kinda hard to get a hold of you, we thought about using smoke signals but it was not worth the trouble." Stark remarked as he stepped into the room, the door slammed open as everyone was holding to their weapon while Natasha just walked away and pulled Pepper towards downstairs. As everyone walked into the room, looking at the scene that made them pause.

Hulk holding Cindy's hand as she was asleep, softly crying. Hulk turned towards them and glared openly at them motioning them to get out of the room. After a long look everyone left the room intending on following Natasha's advice.

Cindy POV.

I'm in the orphanage, but everything is moving around me as I get ignored by everyone running around me. A little girl in a faded pink dress is the only one that calls my attention as she looks out of place yet at the same time doesn't. But the girl is working on something; she's around eleven years old and has straight black hair. She's hunched over in a small part of the backyard where no one comes close as it has a small part of concrete slab with a lot of burn marks.

"Please work!" The girl said as she used pincers to introduce a metal plaque on the bottom part of the device, the moment she inserted the small plaque said small device began to glow bright blue. The moment the girl turned to the device as I walked around her, It hit me like a truck "I remember this day." Came my words out of my mouth.

"YES!!! I DID IT!" The girl jumped up from her place with a fist bump to the sky as she stared at the glow on the small reactor.

"Look at that freak." A couple of girls nearby were looking in her direction and laughing.

"Yeah, she's so weird."

"Maybe that's why she doesn't get adopted." Those three girls were grouped up in a corner near the little girl... near me. I could see the little girl flinch from the insult.

"It doesn't matter, you're smart, in a few years maybe you get a family, you get to be rich... you get... happiness." I could see my old self about to cry but her face turned to the first arc reactor I made.

"No, Mister Bunny thinks I'm not worthless, he knows I'm better than most and that I will be happy one day." The little girl reassured herself.

"Oh, I remember being like this... I was actually happy at home..." I felt tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry I'm not happy." I was like this I remember that I had that outlook in life... I was so excited about everything... It was even after the box, yet I smiled when I did those types of experiments.

I felt uncomfortable looking at the little korean-american girl smiling from ear to ear, I can feel her happiness not faltering even when the girls are laughing or whispering. I know she can hear them but chooses to ignore them and focuses on the reactor, she takes out a light bulb along with a a socket and using dishwashing rubber gloves that have tape to cover holes and she connects the cables to the active part of the reactor to power it.

Seconds later the light bulb lights up really bright and the blinding light warms up the light bulb and blows up sending a literal bolt of lightning to the nears piece of metal connected to the ground which was from a piece of concrete with steel bars exposed, followed by the metal beam to turn bright red as the incomplete wall crumbled, while the cables connected to the socket melted into goo of plastic and copper. "Damn, it needs a current regulator totally forgot about that one, I might need to add one when using it." The kids around her are running and screaming 'LIGHTNING!' And 'SHE WANTS TO KILL US ALL!' From the explosion and piece of wall that's not even 2 feet tall.

Not even a minute passes that a woman with blonde hair and a scowl, her black roots give signal as the small girl smiles at her.

"Cindy! WHAT DID I TOLD YOU ABOUT DOING THAT?" She cowers from the volume and authoritarian tone of her voice, hell even I flinch.

"to not do it." She responds with a whisper her eyes are tearing up.

"I DIDN'T HEAR YOU!"

"To not do it." She and I repeat.

"And yet you did." She glared disapprovingly at her grabbing her by the hair, which made the girl feel absolute fear.

"Mom, I made this!" She points at the arc reactor in the ground. "This could power up the orphanage for the next five hundred years!" She says with pride I just brace myself from what I remember happened next. The matron took a deep breath as she lets her go for a second, unclenching her hand from her hair.

"I'm not your mother." Followed by a punch to the cheek, hard, she falls to the ground, her glasses fall to the ground. I remember being hurt like this; I remember the pain, the hurt... the loneliness and need of just running away. I move around the side and look closely at me as she cries in the floor her eyes don't waver they're hurt but they don't lose the ambition in them.

She stands up. "I'm sorry moth...ma-matron... m-m-my mi-mi-sssta-ke." We speak at the same time the matriarch looks bothered, she kneels in front of the girl to look her straight into her eyes, but my gaze is suddenly looking at my mother, making me flinch.

"You know what this means." Her gaze narrowed on me her eyes clearly disappointed. "I'm doing this because I love you." Those words ring out in my mind as I nod.

"Mom, please. Not there..." She only pulls my hair dragging me through mud and darkness until chains sound in my ears. "I'm sorry, I'll do anything!" I feel my back getting poked as chains rattle around me deafening me. I begin to cry as I can feel the box moving me from side to side, with the intent of hurting me.

"Remember that, this is because I love you, Cindy." Her voice rings out as I curl up hugging my legs close a soft warmth caresses my head reminding me of Clint, he took care of me for a time. "I'm sorry." I feel the need to whisper to Clint hoping for him to listen to me.

As my dream goes blank, my hand is warm and that reassures me that I can keep going, so I get up from my curled up state and begin to walk in this meadow that reminds me of the backyard, the dress long forgotten as I walk in the Silk suit towards somewhere happy, no worries are here, no issues are made.

Waking up feeling refreshed and with an overwhelming need to pee, after getting up and ignoring the pinch in my wrist as I'm walking to the nearest bathroom which thankfully was lit, I closed the door and did my business I exited and sat on the bed, my body hurts, but not as much as last night. The moment I lied down again I noticed, how I'm now lying under the covers and my clothes are different. I take off the blankets as I notice that I actually woke up, I groan as I sit down on the edge of the bed as memories flood my head. My hands on my face with my elbows on my knees, the carpet on my feet feels nice.

"You are awake." A gruff voice sounded beside me, looking to my right I notice Hulk looking at me.

"Yeah... guess I am..."

"Why?"

"Because living is not worth it." I lied back down. "I just want to sleep and never wake up."

"You abandon Hulk." He is openly glaring at me, as my head pops up from the covers.

"I... I'm not worth it, you don't consider me a friend, you never will." I said aloud as he stood up. "Because there is something wrong inside me, which makes people get away from me. WHOA." My body lands on the bed as Hulk just pulled the cover which is the one I was rolled in. The cold of the room seeps into my body, but the feeling of being cold is a welcome one as I don't really feel anymore.

"You are."

"People want things from me; just tell me what you want? I don't care anymore."

"Why do you want to die?"

"For the pain to stop, I'm tired, like you have no idea... I would rather just lie down again and sleep till I won't wake up."

"You're leaving?"

"No, just disappearing forever... I won't bother you again, you're good, I'm just a worthless waste of space, you can leave here and I promise to not bother you again, ever."

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I-"

"YOU ARE MY FRIEND, SO LIV E TO STILL BE MY FRIEND." I shrink under his glare.

"I-I-I'm so-rr-y." My reply comes fast as I stare at my hands, the silence is overbearing as I lie back down. "I can't, I'm not strong enough... I never was." He just stares at me as I hug my knees to my chest. "Even if I was, now I just don't care anymore."

"You need to care." He has a point but I don't really care at all.

"I can't big guy, I-" A knock on the door makes me feel small as Clint walks in, he swallows hard as he looks at Hulk holding the sheets of the bed.

"Hey-" He makes his way to the bed, I can't look at his disappointed gaze, I'm not looking at him but I know he has that expression. A hand gets placed in my arm. "Thanks for watching over her, I got it from here." A huff is the answer he receives as I can hear how Hulk recedes back into Dr. Banner.

"Uugh." He groans followed by a huff of air. "How long?"

"Around 16 hours."

"Man, I didn't think that would happen, I'm going to get something to eat." I can hear the footsteps of him walking towards the door. "Please take care of her." He says as he leaves the door, leaving us alone.

"Hey, kid..." He says as he gently lowers his voice, but I ignore him, I don't want to bother him. "You... agh." He paused as he took a deep breath. "You worried me like you have no idea." I feel guilty for his admission; my actions did that to him.

"I'm sorry." my voice came as a whisper as guilt and sadness are the only thing inside me, I begin to feel tears on the edge of my vision.

"Don't cry, it was my fault for not noticing you hurting... It was my fault; I know what Loki did hurt us both." He is right, what Loki did to my head, it felt so wrong and right at the same time, but that thing brought too many memories, the hours I spent in the box, the number of times I spent crying myself to sleep, the times I almost died from my head getting shoved in a toilet and the times I got punched by Mom.

"It was not him..." I whispered at him. "He made me feel like it was okay to follow his orders, but what bothers me is what he made me remember..." He only rubbed my arm loosely in a pattern that is kinda comforting. "I never said what did mom did to me, when I did anything wrong, broken furniture, a glass falling from the table, inventing, staying awake past curfew, watching too much TV or reading all day..." I feel tears running down my eyes. "She used to punch me first, then taking all my clothes off and shoving me into a piece of the pantry that had nails, screws and razors stuck in the walls." I can feel more tears after admitting it, the fact that this memories came to my mind after that whole event.

"..." He couldn't say anything as my tears didn't stop. "I didn't know..." He let me go as I felt how he left, just as I was starting to feel even worse he returned handing me a few tissues "Sorry I wasn't there for you." His hand returned to its place on my arm but his grip is hard.

"I trusted others with that, they considered me a friend and yet they wanted things from me... one wrote everything I said like I was an experiment, the other just wanted me to help others and the last one just hated me. I have nothing now, I'm worth nothing." I can't help but sob harder.

"That's not true, your life is worth something, and you also have me. You're not alone."

"You abandoned me, but I get it, I'm not worth anything to you, or anyone, I get it, I don't matter."

"I'm sorry about that, but come on... I know you're hungry and you need to eat." For once in my life my answer came faster than I thought possible.

"I'm not hungry."

"Cindy, come on... you need to eat something."

"No thanks."

"Give me a sec I'll be back in a few." He said as he threw the covers over me, again, the warmth feels nice as my tears struggled to stop. Not even 2 minutes passed when the distinct smell of food filled my nostrils.

"I just got these burgers from a place nearby, but you have to get up and eat." My stomach rumbled.

"No thanks." I hugged myself tighter.

"That's fine, I'll leave one here, other four, guess I'll have them to myself." He said as the smell got even more intense, my stomach began to hurt and ever so slowly I sat down in the nearby table that has burgers and began to eat, noticing the coke that he brought I took a swig from the 2 Liter bottle. "No need to eat that fast, there are more." He said as he took a bite from his, these taste amazing, they taste like they were in a grill, the bread is good and not moldy, they're warm and the coke is cold.

As my stomach slowly filled itself, I began to cry as nothing I've eaten in the past year tasted so good. "I tried." My lips unsealed themselves as the memories can't leave, they're there, the torture that was living is there, images that don't leave. "I just wanted a family." I cried again.

"I really tried to live, but couldn't, I tried to be better, but I don't want to be alone again." The loneliness crashed over me. I felt arms wrap around me as I kept crying, he held me not bothered by the snot, spit and tears.

"You're okay, you're going to be alright."

"No, I'm not; and I don't know how to be alright." I want to scream and yell and be angry at everything but I can't, something is holding me back.

"Then don't worry how about we spend a day here, to make you feel better?" I only nod lightly because that sounds good. "Great, I'll see if we can see a few movies." It was an afternoon, where we watched 4 movies and Clint stayed there by my side, Natasha joined on the second movie and left by the start of the fourth, Dr. Banner watched the third one with us and left to work on something, Steve stood there for fifteen minutes then left saying he has a headache.

When the clock hit midnight we decided to sleep in the same room, Natasha got in the shower with me to clean my injuries that were now just a scab that slowly healed, guess eating the entire day different types of food did helped healing me.

I showered while Natasha stayed there, the water surprisingly was warm, which I enjoyed a little too much as it took me half an hour to shower, I had my chance to sit down and enjoy the warmth falling on my body, leaving the usual cold out.

I slept in a room accompanied by Clint taking a small couch and Natasha as well taking the bed with me, I fell asleep into a deep sleep where my dreams were dark and scary but comforting, morning came sooner as my mood was worse than yesterday. I didn't want to get up, but Clint didn't let me give up for a second, hell he stayed with me the entire day not leaving me out of his sight.

"Hey, kid." He turned to me as he took my hand. "Why don't we go for a ride? Some fresh air is good for you."

"But-"

"Yeah that sounds fun, can we go? I can't stay inside for more than a day or I'll go crazy." Natasha added as she playfully tugged my arm.

"Fine..." I drawled on, we made our way to an SUV on the basement.

"I'm driving!" Natasha said as Bruce had a notebook and a Stark tablet on him was sitting on a nearby chair that seemed awfully out of place.

"Oh, where you guys going?"

"For some air, want to join us Bruce?" He smiled awkwardly and a little forced.

"Sure, I got time. Can I get the front seat? I get a little dizzy if I'm on the back." He says with a little smile he just nods as we make our way into the SUV, we drove through the city, looking at both the damage and how people were helping one another and the most surprising feature was the amount of people wearing superhero memorabilia, kids wearing the hulk fists, others running with a shield of Captain America, but what called my attention was the amount of Silk merchandise that people used.

From scarfs, T-shirts, even pants with the spider legs pattern on them. I couldn't help but smile as I saw a little girl playing with those other kids with a scarf on her neck and face. "Whoa." I couldn't help but say that.

"It's impressive, right?"

"We helped, it feels good." Bruce said as he looked around with amazement, I shared his enthusiasm, Natasha has a small smile as well as Clint, and the rest of the trip was silent as the sounds of New York filled our ears.

"Kid... Cindy." He paused as I turned my head towards him. "I want to help you... But I can't do it." The car slowed down as everyone else is silent.

"Your dripping me off at a facility so I get dissected to see how I work?" I admitted not bothered by it.

"No... but, we're here." Natasha said as we parked in front of a hospital.

"A hospital? No! I don't-" Panic washed over me, as I looked at the entrance to the Emergency room.

"Cindy, please. You need help and I care about you, you deserve to be happy and I'm not able to help you. But they can." Clint admitted as he held my hand tightly.

"I don't have money..."

"Don't worry about that, I'll cover it... Just please, take this step, for me." He gets off the SUV and with reluctance I open the door as well. He's already waiting for me, Natasha and Bruce stay on the van, and both just nod at me as I'm walking with Clint holding my hand.

Everything went by in a blur, a female doctor sent me to a room where I had to change all my clothes, leaving me in a hospital scrubs that feel like paper, pants made of the same material and a sports bra and new underwear for me to wear. My clothes got placed into a locker, they asked me for contact info which I gave them the phone number of Clint but knowing Clint and Natasha both like to disappear I put in the number of Erica's mom, who I don't want to call at all.

The comforting thing is the nurse watching me decided to turn around for me to change and they took all my stuff. Clint gave me a hug and an hour later I got assigned a room to which I was escorted into. It's nearing sundown after a lot of paperwork and waiting, I'm allowed to stay for a while in the common room. People are either drawing, talking, reading, and watching TV and some just staring. The lack of company did hit me like a truck, the fact that Clint is not here makes me feel lost as I grip tightly onto my wrist, my strength is not the same as it was before, I'm sure that I'm as strong as a weightlifter but not what it was before.

Grabbing the nearest chair and walking towards the nearest window, I just stare out the window. "Hey!" Someone with deep blue scrubs walks up to stand beside me, not even 5 minutes after sitting down. "So... you're Cindy, right?" I'd rather ignore him for now. "I'm Doctor Kevin Kain, that's with a K, my friends call me KayKay." He extended his hand towards me, I don't bother with him. People want something from you, he wants something and I have nothing to give, not anymore.

"I know you can hear me~" His tone is playful and annoying as fuck.

"Ugh, fine, what?" I answer to him in an annoyed drawled tone.

"Oh, sorry to bother you. It's just I was wondering what are you watching? Cause that's a wall."

"Yeah, and?" He's Asian with a tan on his skin, his eyes are sharp and his body language is open, friendly, a little too friendly.

"Huh, I just supposed you're..."

"Look, dude, I don't care what you say. What you think, or whatever goes on in that head of yours. I have nothing to give you, nothing to offer. So leave me alone and fuck off." My answer comes fast and monotone, I just want to stare at this wall and do what I'm good at which is nothing, but Clint told me that I'm meant to get help here. Yet, is it the right decision to accept help... Am I worth helping? Am I worth something? I could walk out of here and never show my face again, but everyone would be sad and disappointed.

I'll try to get better, but right now I want to think about nothing and staring at this wall is oddly comforting as my thoughts and worries melt away. Leaving my problems for the future me.