Preface

My hands shake as I hear a loud cry, heart pounding I swing my legs out of bed as fast as I can and run down the narrow hallways the portraits seem to stare at me as I race towards what I knew was my mum.

She lies in a puddle of blood and I knew something was wrong.

"The baby is coming", she groans.

Trying not to panic, I help my mum to the bed, mouth dry and my hands shaking. My mum is breathing heavily, sweat trickling over her forehead, her blue eyes wide with pain.

"hold still mummy", I whisper.

I hoped everything would be ok, but I knew something wasn't right. There was a lot of blood, my mum cried in pain for two hours,  I remember feeling scared, small and hopeless. I was only 5 years old.

And then she was here, my little baby sister. "Look after Angel " she gasps, "that's her name Angel "

My mums chest rises and falls and her heavy lidded eyes begin to fall shut.

"mum, mum, mum", I yell. But she doesn't open her eyes, her breathing stops and just like that she's gone.

I hold tiny Angel tightly, not knowing what to do next. I begin to cry. I try to wake mummy again but she is cold, lifeless, gone.

Angel screams, I don't know what to do. I try to ignore her  but she doesn't stop. She needs food, baby food, milk. Mum had been prepared, I run to the kitchen and make a bottle. Finally silence as she drinks. I can't believe she's gone, I'm scared, alone and with a baby. I remembered Mum always  saying "Be my brave little girl, you and your sister will be the best of friends". Tears stream down my face.

I wasn't ready to be alone and look after my little sister, I didn't know what to do, how to look after her. I was sad as well my mum was gone.

Broken and alone I looked down at my baby sister, mum had given her life for her.

My hatred grew, I lost my mum for you. I really hated her, how could I protect her when she took my mum away. The baby must of sensed my mood change, she looked at me with her blue bright eyes, trying to search my face.  Her eyes were full of concern, and I thought she could see right into my soul.

"Stop looking at me like that", I said.

Angel begins to cry, "I can't look after you, I can't love you" I say her cries become louder.

"I'm not your mummy", I yell.

I hold her up to my eye level, my arms shaking heavily. I look right into her eyes. "Im sorry" I sob. "Im so so sorry" I hold her tight and she stops crying.

" It's me and you Angel against the world"