Rascal Does Not Dream Of Headphone Jack Bi-

Birds soar over the sky. The afternoon sun illuminates the sky. Upon the rooftop of a certain middle school stand two individuals, a boy and a girl, both eleven years of age. The boy's body language does nothing to hide his anxiousness. His hands tremble and are noticeably sweaty. His gaze is turned to his left, his face refusing to meet the eyes of the girl in front of him.

After a few moments, the boy finally musters up the courage to break the silence and speaks.

"I... I... I like you! Please go out with me!" The boy finally blurts out. Bending his body at a ninety-degree angle and holding out his hand.

The girl is put in deep thought, no doubt debating on how to respond to the boy's sudden and abrupt confession. After having pondered on how to respond to the boy for a brief moment, the girl finally decides on a reply.

"I'm sorry..." the girl starts. The boy already knows the girl will reject him, but he nonetheless waits for the girl to continue.

"...but I love Emilia."

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...huh well I didn't expect him to run off crying like that. Did he not get the reference? Okay yeah, that was pretty cruel, but I ain't dating no guys, cause that shit's gay. This isn't even the first time this has happened. It's not surprising, even back in Toaru, Misaki was a looker. Some might even call her a fanservice character. And now I'm possessing her 11-year-old body. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel good to be considered conventionally attractive. I wasn't exactly handsome in my last life, in fact, I was an ugly beast of a man, so it feels extremely rewarding to find some light in my new life. If only I didn't get so many love confessions. Well, what can I say it's hard being the world's hottest TI83.

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It's been exactly 6 years, 3 months, 2 weeks, 16 hours, 35 minutes, and 45 seconds since my reincarnation. I've since moved on from Mrs. Eirin's class, preschool, and elementary school as a whole. Now I'm in my first year of middle school and trying to come to grips with my newfound popularity with boys. No matter how weird or how cold I come off the confessions just won't stop. They never slowed down, not even when it became common knowledge that my quirk was brainwashing. I even have the middle school equivalent of super seniors trying to win my heart. I underestimated the power of hormones.

I didn't spend those 6 years mentioned above sitting on my ass. I spent the majority of my time training Mental Out, as well as Dry Out. I got the adding water and removing water thing down. It expands my means of combating robots, but it doesn't make Mental Out any more heroic. I can drown a person by making water appear in their lungs or I could turn someone into astronaut ice cream by removing all the moisture in their body. Putting aside my newfound assassination methods, on the mental side of things I feel confident in my ability to do everything Canon Misaki could when it comes to the human mind. It may or may not have something to do with the fact that Glowing Guy gave me the Level 5 version of Mental Out, as opposed to the Level 3 version Canon Misaki was born with. This means I won't struggle as much so I'm not complaining. Anyway, the only Mental Out ability I don't know how to use is psychometry. I'm frankly stumped on how Canon Misaki could find the memories of objects by controlling brain moisture. It's a shame, but a little inability-to-find-an-objects-memories won't stop me from Mental Outing everywhere.

But enough exposition, let's talk about the now.

Be me.

Misaki Shokuhou: professional Mental Outer.

Sitting in class and not paying attention because I've learned everything the middle school has to offer.

The teacher says we'll be getting a new transfer student.

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A new student walks in.

She plain-looking, with dark purple hair and lazy-looking black eyes.

Notice her long earlobes but don't chalk it up too much.

The girl introduces herself as Kyouka Jirou.

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Well, punch me in the vagina its Headphone-Jack-Bitch.

Alright, I'm done talking like I'm on 4chan.

I'm surprised I'm meeting a character from canon this early. I thought it would happen during the entrance exam but I guess it's a small world, eh?

Headphone-Jack-Bitch continues introducing herself and her quirk. Yeah... she also spends time introducing her quirk. I showed off mine in preschool and told would-be-suitors about it but I don't go around explaining it to everyone. I get that superpowers are cool and all but I find the fact that people treat them like a personality trait slightly irritating. Like, girl, you should not be that eager to share the details about such a shitty power to people. You have headphone jacks on your earlobes. Don't you know everyone goes wireless these days?

She finally finishes and the teacher points her to an empty chair to sit in. The chair happens to be the one next to mine. Well, shit. The universe is screwing with me. I enjoyed my spot in the classroom too. I got the Protagonist Chair and everything. She walks over to the seat next to mine, gives me an idle glance, and gives me a brief "Hello." before plopping down into her seat.

Class continues the same as usual until lunchtime comes along at least. People flocked to Headphone-Jack-Bitch's desk to ask her all sorts of questions. I meanwhile just sat back and ignored the chatter. I rest my head on my hand like a Greek philosopher and aimlessly stare out the window. All mysterious like.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jirou POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man...I'm really having a hard time with all this attention. It's kind of suffocating.

I try to answer all their questions to the best of my ability but they keep coming one after another. And did that guy just ask me if I was single? I must have misheard.

"Uhh...yeah," I respond. Man, I really suck at this...

I wish they would act more like that blonde girl in the seat next to me. She's all but ignored me, seemingly intent on staring out the window. Weird. I didn't peg her as the quiet type based on her appearance. She looks more like a Queen Bee than a loner. Or is she a cold beauty? Probably the latter. God, she has such pretty eyes.

Wait. What's with that pose she's making? Is she trying to look cool?

"Oh, that's Shokuhou Misaki!" The boy that was talking to me said. He points at her rather matter-of-factly before continuing. "Yeah, she's not really the social type..." he stops to take in the pose she's making "...and as you can see she's pretty weird." he finishes.

Oh shoot I was staring. And what did he mean by 'pretty weird'?

The sparkly-eyed Blonde turns her head to face us at the mention of her name.

"Wow, thanks a lot, Rainbow Locks. I had this whole 'mysterious vibe' going on and you just went and ruined it." She said with a disapproving look.

Okay, so she admits she was trying to look cool. Cool. That answers that question. Also Rainbow Locks? Is that a nickname? The guy looks pretty taken aback by it.

"How can you only remember me by my quirk!?? We've known each other since preschool. How do you not know my name!??" Rainbow Locks responds, clearly aghast by her statement.

Okay, so these two have a history. Also, she never implied that she never knew your name dude. Calm down.

"Maybe I would have recalled your name if you had shut up about your dumbass hair color-changing quirk." Shokuhou snaps back.

Okay, I was not expecting her to respond like that. This girl's appearance and actions contradict each other in every way. Rainbow Locks is right. She is weird.

"My quirk isn't dumb! It makes me unique! Right, Kyouka?" He asks me with a look that's practically begging me to come to his defense.

Dude don't get me involved in this. I honestly agree with her on this one. That is an extremely lame quirk. But I guess it is sorta my fault this started. And I don't see anyone else from the crowd around my desk making a move to stop this. I guess I have no choice.

"Yeah yeah, it makes you unique." I nonchalantly come to his defense, earning a look of gratitude from Rainbow Locks in the process.

"Hah! See I'm right. It makes me unique." Rainbow Locks says while smugly looking at Shokuhou.

I regret my earlier choice of words.

"You know Headphone-Jack-Bitch just said that to make you feel better, right? She definitely agrees with me." Shokuhou says bluntly. Soon after she uttered those words Rainbow Locks started sputtering out an intelligible response.

Wait, Headphone-jack what now?

"What did you just call me?" I ask in my bewilderment.

"Headphone-Jack-Bitch." Shokuhou, once again, says bluntly.

"You were right Rainbow Locks." she is weird.

Everyone stares at Shokuhou in complete disbelief.

Noticing the disapproving looks and comments on her behavior she opens her mouth to speak.

"Catch me outside How bout that."

It's gonna be a long year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Jirou POV 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, we're outside now. Not because I'm gonna 'Catch her outside' but because of gym class. 

Ugh... we're doing the 100m dash today. I suck at all extracurricular activities, but I especially suck at running.

What a pain. 

We're doing it in groups of four because the track field isn't big enough. And who's been assigned to my group? Shokuhou Misaki of course. Because the universe just loves to mess with me. Hopefully, this goes off without much issue.

The group before us finished their run, so it was finally my group's turn. We got to our starting positions and when we were given the signal we were off. I surprisingly did fairly decent. When we finished running all three of us moved off the track field to make room for the final group.

Wait, weren't there four of us?

We all look back to see a lone figure approaching in the distance. After a short while the figure closes the distance revealing a very disheveled Shokuhou. She slowly comes up to the starting position, and once she finally arrives she falls to her knees and begins taking rapid breaths. She looks like crap. Is she that unathletic?

"Are you okay...?" she looks like she's about to pass out.

After she registered my question all the exhaustion that was plaguing her just seemed to vanish as she quickly got off the ground and stopped hyperventilating.

"Yeah, I'm fine it's just my Ligma acting up." 

"Whats Ligma? Is it some kind of disease? You should have talked to the teachers about... wait why are you looking at me like that?"

Shokuhou moves to speak.

Unfortunately, gym class did not 'go off without a hitch'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Still Jirou POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So I heard your quirk is brainwashing."

Shokuhou turns to me at the sudden comment. She still has the same bored expression she wore this morning, but it's apparent from a change in her heart rate that she's surprised.

"'Electric Water Mind Control' actually, but brainwashing works too. Why'd you bring it up Headphone-Jack-Bitch?" 

"My name is Kyouka Jirou. Say it with me now 'Kyouka Jirou'. And these aren't even headphones! These are Earphones!" I point my lobes in her direction to emphasize my point.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Ever since my parents died in an accident I've always been terrible with names. You see like most people they had names, but I obviously referred to them by a nickname: Mom/Dad. I use nicknames as a coping mechanism due to the intimacy that comes from them reminding me of the intimacy I once had with them. Sorry if I offended you Earphone-Jack-Bitch."

Wow, and my parents said I was sassy. I'm gonna ignore that nickname from now on, she's clearly not gonna drop it. I wanna ask about her quirk anyway.

"Does your quirk have anything to do with your eyes?" It's a valid question. Her eyes have sparkles in them. A possible mutation?

"No, they don't. They're just there to make me look gay. Got nothing to do with my quirk" so I was right about them being a mutation. Is she insecure about them? That would explain the gay comment.

"They're really pretty. They make you look like the protagonist of a Shoujo Manga."

"I don't know... they're pretty gay."

I'm just going to move on...

"So about your quirk" 

"Yeah yeah, I get it Earphone-Jack-Bitch. I can basically control people against their will and make them all sorts of kinky shit."

"What...?"

"It only works with the help of a remote control though."

"Fitting how you need a remote to control people. It sounds like a pretty powerful quirk."

"But not a very heroic one."

Does she also?

"You want to be a hero?"

"Yup."

"Are you also aiming for U.A. after you graduate?"

"Yup."

"Maybe we'll end up in the same class."

"Yup."

"You're just saying 'yup' to everything I'm saying aren't you?"

"Yup."

Maybe she isn't as bad as I thought she was.

"*Sigh* well I wish you luck."

"Thanks Earphone-Jack-Bitch. Maybe after we become heroes we can be a hero duo. You can be my sidekick."

"Why am I the sidekick exactly?" I ask incredulously.

"Do you really need me to tell you?" she says like gazing at my left earlobe.

Never mind I take it back.

This girl is an enigma.

Okay, so Shokuhou Misaki is not only incredibly popular with men but also extremely unathletic, sassy, rude, crass, and a little chuuni. She also looks like a queen bee but doesn't act like one, refers to most people by nicknames, and chooses to pursue heroism despite the stigma against her quirk.

Rainbow Locks is right.

Shokuhou Misaki is pretty strange.