Better Call Misaki
"AH!" "Someone kill it!" "I ain't touching that shit!" "Eek!"
I walk into the classroom only to be greeted by screaming. Now, if this was my past life it wouldn't be that surprising, but I'm hot now so it's clearly not because of me. I look to see what the commotion is about. A majority of the class seems to be keeping their distance from something in the middle of the classroom, forming an arc around it. Earphone-Jack-Bitch is standing near the outskirts of it. So I moved to ask her what's got everyone's panties in a bunch.
"Alright, what's everyone bitchin' about?" I asked, monotonously.
"Huh?" Earphone-Jack-Bitch turns to face me in surprise "Oh it's just you." her shock dissipates "Well, a cockroach just showed up out of nowhere," and no one wants to get near it. I mean I can't blame them. I don't want to touch it either," she pauses and looks towards the commotion with an uneasy expression "but we kinda need to get rid of it before class starts..."
Huh, well I don't blame them either. I still think they're disgusting as hell, but seeing them every day for 9 years makes you get used to them. I ended up finding a pretty creative way to kill them without touching them actually. Well, since it is a hero's job to help people I might as well earn some brownie points right now. "Alright, I'll kill it," I said. "Everyone move aside."
And just like like Moses, I part the sea (of students). It really was a thing of biblical proportions. See, I walked up and everyone moved out of the way. Truly a sight to behold. I pass the crowd looking at me with hopeful eyes and finally catch a glimpse of my target. It was, as most actors on Orange YouTube would say, 'pretty big'. It's the big type of cockroach with wings on its back, which you pray to god they never use, and it was crawling on the classroom floor.
Well, time to kill this motherfucker.
I hold out my hand and do my Disneyland employee two-finger point. I activate Dry Out and wait for it to do its job. The cockroach tries to make a last stand by running towards the crowd, but it's too late. Mid scurry its body jumps up and an audible popping noise is heard. Dry Out basically freeze-dried it, removing any moisture the roach had inside it, leaving just its empty husk on the classroom floor.
"Alright, it's dead," I said cheerfully before turning to the astonished crowd behind me. "You agreed to clean this up, right Rainbow Locks?"
"What?" Rainbow Locks said, clearly surprised at being singled out.
"Aight thanks," I said before moving to sit in my protagonist spot.
"But I didn't agree to-" Rainow Lock's protest is stopped by a reassuring hand being placed on his shoulder. It's a fellow classmate wishing him luck on the task that he very obviously volunteered to do.
The rest of the class collectively says 'Good luck' before moving to take their seats. Rainbow Locks resigns himself to his fate and leaves the classroom to grab something to clean the roach up.
"So how the heck did you do that?" Earphone-Jack-Bitch asked as she took her seat next to me. "I thought your quirk was 'brainwashing'."
"Well, it is. It's just that it works by manipulating moisture in the brain. It's an application of it. I just kinda made all the squishy stuff inside of it start losing water" I explain.
"So you basically killed it from the inside?" she asked with a surprised look on her face. A smirk grew across her face "Metal."
That's one way to describe it.
Probably shouldn't tell her I could do the same thing to a human.
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We basically got the 'Vaping Awareness' talk in class today, but since it's like the 31st century people don't actually vape. No, instead they take drugs which I'm sure is a much healthier alternative. The hottest new drug on the market is known as Trigger. It gives anyone who uses it a Deus Ex Machina in the form of a power boost to their quirk.
"I heard a kid from the school next overused it. He ended up going crazy and destroyed a classroom." Earphone-Jack-Bitch said to me during the passing period.
I gave my usual blank stare to that little bit of information. I mean what did you expect to happen when you used an illegal substance? You used the quirk equivalent to steroids.
"Apparently some creep has been offering people Trigger for free. My parents won't stop giving me warnings about staying away from strange people," she complained. Ok, now that I doubt.
"Bullshit," I said aloud. "Not the parent's thing, but who the hell would give away drugs for free?"
Drugs are valuable as hell. There's no way in hell some guy would just them away for free. And for that matter who the hell would accept said free drugs? My mother taught me a lot of lessons before I died. One of these lessons was 'nothing is ever truly free'. People don't just give away things for free without expecting something in return. Your chances of meeting a saint are pretty slim so if sounds like it's too good to be true, it probably has a catch. What I'm basically trying to say is that unless Mr.Beast is giving it to you, you probably shouldn't trust free stuff.
Earphone-Jack-Bitch mulls over my question before deciding on a response.
"Some creep probably. There are all sorts of weirdos out there doing strange stuff. I mean I'm looking at one right now." she said while trying to conceal her smirk.
I tilt my head in an attempt to feign ignorance "A weirdo?" I said before looking around the classroom "Where?"
My gaze lingers on Rainbow Locks, who notices my staring and approaches with a pensive look on his face.
"I know you haven't said anything, but I feel like you're making fun of me," he said with an exacerbated expression on his face.
I stare at him blankly before saying "Earphone-Jack-Bitch thinks you're the creep giving away Trigger to kids."
Earphone-Jack-Bitch gives me an unamused look. Rainbow Locks is taken aback.
"You really think that lowly of me Jirou??!" he said with a betrayed expression.
"He does look the part." I monotone.
"I'd never get involved with that stuff let alone give it to someone else!" he said before stopping and pondering for a moment before saying "I don't facilitate the use of Trigger. Though, it would be pretty cool to have a quirk enhancer."
"What so you can change hair color better? Sorry to break it to you buddy, but no amount of performance enhancers will ever make that bum-ass quirk of yours strong."
"...You're." he starts, his hands visibly shaking and tears forming at the side of his eyes. "You're so mean!" he says before storming out of the classroom.
Amidst the silence, Earphone-Jack-Bitch turns to me with a tense look.
"Don't you think you went a little far this time?" she said with a scrutinizing look.
"Yeah, probably," I reply nervously.
I did just straight-up bully that guy. But in my defense, it was a bum-ass quirk.
I'll apologize for this one time.
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After that one time during my first year when I thoroughly embarrassed myself by trying to run with Misaki Shoukuhous's nonexistent stamina, I made it a point to start jogging. The first few days of jogging were absolute hell with my stamina. But eventually, I managed to reach the average running speed for a girl my age. It's... not that impressive from an outside perspective but it's certainly a huge milestone for me personally. It was incredibly rewarding to see my efforts be fruitful, even if I still come in last during any races we're forced to do in P.E.
I casually jogged through the streets with my hair tied back in a ponytail after school. It's pretty therapeutic actually. Since we can't afford internet I don't exactly have much in the realm of entertainment. So I usually spend the majority of my time messing around with my ability or going to the library. With jogging, I don't have to sit around and use my brain. It's just me, my legs, and the rapidly diminishing stamina of a certain Level 5. I'm making steady progress in increasing it though.
Mental Out actually comes in handy here. Being able to alter my current mental state definitely helps in my progress. Don't have enough willpower to keep running? Well then just create it spontaneously and give myself that one extra push. Can't keep running because your legs ache? Just cut off your pain receptors. That second one was a bad idea because it made me lose the use of my legs for a day due to overuse, but in the long run, it was worth it.
The streets aren't as bustling as they used to be, no doubt due to the recent Trigger incidents. Now it would be a wise idea to follow everyone else's example and stop jogging for a while and wait for this whole drug business to pass, but if you think a little drug trafficking would stop me from staying on the grind, you'd be sorely mistaken.
I jogged past an alley where I could hear the sounds of an argument. I immediately stop my grind and walk back to see what's going on. Wait, is that what I think it is? I peer down the alley to see a group of four guys surrounding a girl around the same age as me who clearly looks uncomfortable with the situation she's been placed in. Well, shit it's this trope. The one where a bunch of guys harass a girl and won't take no for an answer. But why am I experiencing it? I'm not a harem protagonist. This whole situation is messed up. Those guys look high school-age, and they're trying to get with a middle schooler. In broad daylight too. Like sheesh...
"I didn't know pedos went on the prowl at this time." honestly man... Wait, why did everyone turn to look at me? Oh shit, I said that out loud.
"The hell you just say to me?" the guy who I assume to be the leader of the group of groomers said. I'll call him Thug A. He sported a very pissed-off expression that soon turned into a lecherous one upon seeing my 'assets'.
"Aren't you a little old to be picking up middle schoolers? You tryna be the next Mini Ladd or something?" I mock.
Being compared to Mini clearly pissed him off because now he looked ready to kill me.
"Why you little-" he prepared to punch me, but before his fist could connect he fell to the ground unconscious. Silence emanated throughout the alley as the rest of the thugs were left in shock at seeing their leader suddenly collapse. The thugs quickly regained their composure eventually and looked at me with hostility. Thug A is down, so that just leaves B, C, and D.
"What the hell did you do??!" Thug B demands as he charges at me. He activated his quirk which made white spikes come from his hands. Bone manipulation perhaps? Doesn't matter. He soon joins Thug A on the floor as he mysteriously falls unconscious. Alright, that leaves two Mini Ladds. That two soon turns into one as Thug C spontaneously collapses leaving Thug D as the last man standing.
This spontaneous collapse is due to a move I picked up to help me sleep better. I essentially forced their brains to go into sleep mode through the use of Mental Out. I set the trigger for this move to activate through the squinting of my eyes so I could use it as a sneak attack. It's a pretty simple move that's a one-shot for most opponents. Now I say most because Mental Out doesn't work on everyone. People with heteromorphic quirks that give them animal-like traits are immune to the effects of Mental Out, as the similarities their brain structure shares with animals make it impossible for me to take control of them. Why am I mentioning this? Because it's relevant to my current predicament.
You see Thug D is a heteromorph who looks like a crocodile. And I'm not sure if you know this, but crocodiles can't be hypnotized.
"Wha... what did you do?!?" Kek Croc demands of me. The girl the thugs had been harassing ran away, hopefully, she could get the cops here soon.
"I ain't do nothing pal. Ever considered that maybe they're just exhausted? Being a professional discord mod is an exhausting job you know? These kinds of things happen." I don't know why I sound like a New Yorker. I just put on the scariest voice I can think of in hopes of scaring him away. I can't really do much against him without killing him. Hopefully, he follows reason and runs away.
"You think you're hot shit huh?!!" why are you not running away "Well guess what?" please run away "With this!" put that syringe with a black liquid away and run away, please "You're no longer the only one with a strong quirk!" stop injecting yourself with Trigger and run away please. Wait... Trigger?
Oh, shit!
His body begins morphing and his clothes tear apart due to his newly attained muscles, his teeth and claws grow longer, and his eyes become crazed. He looks more like a real crocodile now ...and he looks like he wants to game-end me. Is it still too late to convince him to run away?
"Hey San Diego just called, they want their crocodile back." I nervously say.
In response, Killer Croc decides to grace me with the sound of his almighty roar. It emanates throughout the alley and creates a gust of wind that pushes me and everyone on the floor back a good distance. Once his mouth finishes leaking noise he begins charging towards me.
"Woah hold on man!" he doesn't stop "Listen, y- y- you came here to buy a cupcake right? Can't we talk about this?" he's still charging "...Fistbump?" yeah, now is the time to run away isn't it?
He lunges towards me and I manage to narrowly avoid becoming a Level 5 filet. I'm outta here man. I ran out of the alley with the croc hot on my heels. I'm making the ground behind me slippery with Dry Out in an effort to slow him down but with my stamina, it's only a matter of time before he catches up. And catch up he does. I don't even make it past the first crosswalk before I feel something forcefully pull my arm back. Thug D took hold of my arm, breaking it in the process with his monstrous strength. Now I'm regretting abandoning that pain shutoff training method. This shit hurts. He holds me up by said broken appendage and readies himself to go for the kill. I close my eyes and prepare for the inevitable.
Is this how it ends? Killed by a damn cliche. I didn't even make it to UA yet... oh well maybe I'll be reincarnated into a better fanfic next time. And on a better website too. Like archive or fanfiction.com. I better be Accelerator though, that's non-negotiable.
...
...
...
...
...Why am I not dead yet?
The answer to that question is delivered via me being violently thrown back down to earth by Thug D. I push myself up using my one good arm and see Thug D engaged in combat with... a homeless man? No wait those goggles... it's Aizawa! Aka my Hero Academia's Kakashi sensei. With a whip of his scarf and the activation of Erasure, he easily dispatches Thug D and leaves him tied up on the pavement.
With the thug now restrained, he turns his attention to me. He quickly rushes towards me and begins assessing my injury. He visibly winces at the state of my arm before pulling out a first aid kit to tend to my injuries.
"You're gonna be okay kid." he reassures me "That girl told me what happened." he looks at me sternly "What you did was the height of irrationality. Next time don't do something so foolish and call a pro. We're trained for this." he chides.
"Si señor kakashi" I respond as nonchalantly as someone who had just been manhandled by a human crocodile could.
"Looks like the injury has made you delirious." Hey, I'm perfectly lucid thank you very much "I'll call an ambulance to deal with the worst of your injuries. Hang on until then."
"Wait, please don't call an ambulance. I won't be able to afford the cost." An ambulance ride would bankrupt us.
Kakashi just looked at me confused expression before running off into the alley that had started this all off. Likely chalking it up to my supposed delirious state. I forgot that I'm not in America, so thankfully I won't have to deal with any outrageous bills. Though with all good news, there must come bad news. The bad news here is that I'm going to have to endure the pain that comes with my broken arm until the ambulance arrives. I should have set up a pain shutoff boundary. Well, there's no better time than the present.
After running through the calculations I set up the new boundary. I hold my left hand up to my forehead and the nearly unbearable pain from earlier suddenly disappears. I gotta learn to do this stuff without convoluted commands What kind of shitty power relies on limiting the freedom you have with it. Oh, that's right mine!
Well whatever, guess I'll just chill here until the ambulance shows up.
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I sit in a hospital room with my arm in a cast and my body covered in bandages. The crocodile had done a number on me. Not only did he break my arm when he pulled me back, but he also dislocated my shoulder. I didn't notice that second one. He must've been a master in the art of subtlety. That's not even mentioning all the cuts and bruises from being manhandled.
The doctors noticed my apathy to pain, and when they questioned me about it I simply said "Pain is just weakness leaving the body." That wasn't the only questioning I had been subjected to. The police came to question me on what went down. The power boost the crocodile went under was, as I expected, caused by Trigger. But the police were more interested in what went down before the crocodile went Sicko Mode. They were especially curious as to how the thugs all fell unconscious. Since using my power is against the law I of course had to lie to save my sorry ass, so I simply said "They tried to pull a Shane Dawson, and then they got tired." The feds obviously didn't buy it but dropped it as I'm still a middle schooler. Of course not before giving me a stern talking-to about running into danger. The police left and the hospital staff told me they'd informed my guardian of what happened and that they'd be here soon. So now I'm playing the waiting game.
I most likely gained the world record with how fast my run of the waiting game ended when the doors suddenly burst open to reveal a distraught Renko. She's soon followed closely by an... Earphone-Jack-Bitch?
"Shoku!" yelled Renko as she rushed to the side of my bed.
"Yo," said Earphone-Jack-Bitch as she gave a lazy wave.
"How'd you know I got fucked up?" I ask the unexpected visitor.
"Language!" Renko scolds.
"Sorry," I say sheepishly.
"I was there when it happened." She reveals.
She was there? How come I didn't see her then?
"You were? Why didn't you approach me?" I ask.
"I went out on a couple of errands, I was at the music store buying a few CDs when I saw that crocodile-looking guy chasing you. I would've approached you, but I was in a hurry and that pro looked like he had handled everything." she took her head down and put her hands to together in remorse.
"It's fine," I reply. I honestly didn't expect her to show up even if she knew but wasn't there to see it. I've nothing but an asshole to her yet she still hangs out with me.
"I got you something to make up for it," said Jirou as she pulled out a square object.
"A CD?" I ask curiously.
"Yup! And it's from one of my favorite bands! I know you've got this whole Chunni thing going on so I picked a song that would fit with your aesthetic." She said energetically. She's really into music huh.
"Thanks, Jirou," I say, earning a look of surprise from Jirou.
A vibrating noise is heard and Jirou proceeds to pull her phone out of her pocket.
"Oh, it's my parents. I gotta go. I hope you get well soon." She says before quickly moving to leave.
When she's finally gone I eye the CD in my hand before turning to Renko. She has a mischievous smile on her face for some reason.
"Hey, do we have anything to play this thing?" I ask.
"Nope," she replies.