The Last Guy

The 2nd relationship started so wrong. We both did not love each other but even when we parted we did not hurt each other. Just a fleeting emotion. friendship is more like it.

Then came the third guy. The last guy. The guy who loves me since I was in highschool. I thought he would be my last. I did not love him from the start. I was playing safe. Even though I do not love him, I did gave him my unconditional trust. Trust him so much that I even hypnotised myself everyday. A matra in my mind 'I love him'. But alas even his love is just fleeting. He left saying He doesn't want me anymore.

He left me empty. He thought me never to trust. I wish I have never known him or if only I never trusted him so much, never relied on him and never choose him. Then this abyss inside me would not have started.

What hurt the more most is that up to now I still believe in him.

I'm still waiting... I don't want to wait. I want to forget everything. If only I could. If death could stop this, I would choose it willingly.