Trying..

I tried a lot of things to take my mind off the numbness and emptiness. Travel around, party wild, drink a lot, date a guy, go out with friends, learn new things, play a game, shop until my wallet bleed, eat a lot and a lot more.

With all this crap that I did, you think that I'll forget, the pain would fade and the emptiness would fill something.

A lot says that time heals all wound but It has been a long time.

Travel around just makes you realize that your the only one feeling crap and the people around you are having fun.

partying wild just makes you exhausted all over.

drinking a lot just makes you sick

dating someone just doesnt do a thing if your still lonely

going out with friends just makes you jealous of their life

learning new things hmm.. This I can recommend but if your not being lazy

playing a mobile game makes you addicted and waste so much money

shopping just makes you accumulate garbage because you don't really need them in the 1st place

sometime even being with your family makes you learn to pretend that your all right when your not.

I don't know why.

Is it because I was never a positive person to begin with, that nothing feels the gap that was left behind.

I'd say bleeding physically is more tolerable than feeling empty.

But one thing I am sure, I'll never go back because the trust I gave is gone.