I, the great teacher and killer, Cordelia Auspin, have died. Died in a rather shocking way, literally. Lighting on a perfectly clear day. And now, before me is an annoying guy calling himself a god. "Screw you, just bring me back to life or I'll kill you!" "You truly are short-tempered. You are far too weak to even think about challenging me, but for what it's worth you are courageous for even trying. Well, off you go lass, a new world awaits you. I hope you can evolve and grow strong enough to challenge me again the next time we meet." My vision shifts and I'm surrounded by darkness when from out of nowhere some kind of screen appears in my view. "Welcome to the world of Grauntia, Miss Cordelia Auspin. Please take this quick survey to decide your place in Grauntia." "... The hell is this?" Join Cordelia in her journey to take down everyone that has, will, and might slight her while she struggles to survive in the new environment. Not even the gods themselves are safe from her wrath. If anyone wishes to donate and support me, the link is https://ko-fi.com/akkre
I was a well-respected university teacher, capable of teaching Biology and History. But that's just on the surface. Three years ago the police gave me a nickname, The Serpent Killer, the name probably came from the weapon I use that leave the markings of a snake bite along with the capability to inject venom. Never once since I started my killings ten years ago has there ever been evidence that can lead to me. I'd even call myself a genius. So... WHY THE HELL DID I DIE!? The answer, this annoying man on the other side of this room.
This place seems to be some kind of shrine or temple. In the back are three idols, each on their own pedestal. At least as far as I can tell there are no windows. actually the room is rather empty save for the idols in the back and the two of us.
The man before me called himself a god when he introduced himself, Akkre the Keeper of Eternity. For a god, he is rather small only standing a few centimetres below me. but what sticks out the most are those tails. Wow, that's a lot of tails, I can even see through them. for the past few minutes now he's been lecturing me on the sacredness of life and all that crap, but honestly, I don't give a damn.
"So mister annoying god, do you really believe any of that crap you were talking about?"
"No, not really."
"... Then why the hell are you even talking about it?"
"Thought it would annoy you, that's all. Seemed to work too."
"You son of a..."
No, don't let him get to you. He clearly wants me to get upset. That damnable grin on his face, he's clearly enjoying this.
"Lets- lets just move on. The way I died was clearly abnormal. It was a mistake, so that's why I'm here right? I mean, come on, it was a perfectly clear day without a cloud in sight and all of a sudden lighting strikes me not once but twice on the head. So just bring me back to life and I won't have to kill you where you stand."
"You're right, that lightning was very abnormal and shouldn't happen under any normal circumstances."
"So you'll bring me back?"
After a short pause that annoying grin creeps its way back onto his face.
"However, what happened to you was no mistake. I personally killed you myself. As to why I did it, you just seemed like a good candidate for my experiment, is what I want to say but honestly, I just picked someone at complete random."
Speechless, I just stand there, completely dumbfounded at what I heard. This little shit seriously just offed me because he wants to use me for an experiment, and it was at random he chose to kill me! With anger filling my entire body a lunge at Akkre, attempting to strike him down. But something stops my movement. looking around I see that I'm frozen in midair.
"Nice try, that would be the nice thing to say but unfortunately I can hardly say that was a nice try. You see, right now you exist as a soul. And It just so happens my race can completely control souls without a vessel, that would be your current state. Your entire existence stands completely on whether I decide to let you live or not. Fortunately for you, I am far too lazy to even try to look for someone else, as such I am putting up with your rude behaviour. Besides, you'll get what you want. You wanted to come back to life so I'll bring you back, it just won't be on Earth."
I begin to calm down a little once I hear that he will bring me back to life, even if it isn't back on Earth. Doesn't change the fact that one day I will kill him, but he is clearly stronger than me right now so that will have to wait. Hold on, there is no way this guy of all people will bring be me back to life without some catch. I've got a bad feeling.
"Off you go now, lass. Have fun in your new world and I hope you enjoy your new life."
"Wait, tell me what the conditions are and what kind of world is this? There some kind of catch right? Just what is this experiment you have in mind? TELL ME!"
I feel my consciousness slipping away. My vision is fading but I can still see that damnable grin on his face. and just before I completely lose consciousness I hear him.
"I'll think about it"
"I swear I'll be back! And I will kill you!"
"Hasta la vista, baby."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I awake to find myself completely surrounded by darkness, nothing but a vast expanse of well nothing. Continuing to inspect my surrounding it feels like I still don't have a physical body. After a short while, something resembling a computer prompt appears in my view and I hear a somewhat robotic voice in my head.
"Welcome to Grauntia, Miss Cordelia Auspin. I am the system, here to aid the inhabitants of Grauntia. Please take this short survey to decide your starting conditions in Grauntia."
But what if I don't wan-
"Failure to comply will result in the termination of your soul."
God damn it, fine I'll do it. I'm sure this is his doing, I swear I'll get him someday.
"Question 1. Are you male or female?"
Screw off, you already know the answer, I'm a woman.
"Question 2. Do you like animals more than humans?"
Easy, animals are superior to humans. Animals don't say things that annoy me and I can train them to do my bidding.
"Question 3. Where would you rather live, the ocean or the mountains?"
Well, disposing bodies is much easier in the ocean than in the mountains. I nearly got found once when I tried burying some fool making passes at me in the mountains before. Too time-consuming to prepare a site to dispose of a body in the mountains compared to letting the marine life do the work for me. My choice is the ocean.
"Question 4. Do you prefer warm or cold climates or no preference?"
Hmm... I've never really thought much about it before but I've heard that in cold areas a body takes longer to decompose giving me more time to hide the body. But a warm climate could allow me to clear away evidence since the body would decay faster. I don't really have a preference.
"Question 5. What is your favourite kind of person?
Someone who won't bother or annoy me and is easy to kill if they do.
"Question 6. What is your favourite animal?"
Anything with poison or venom. But if I had to chose probably snakes. I had secretly kept many kinds of snakes so I could extract their venom. Haha, I'm sure someone has found my weapon collection and the various animals I kept by now and reported it to the police. I'm sure they'll be shocked to find out the killer they been searching for was someone like me.
"Question 7. The sacredness of life or the beauty of death."
I'm a killer, a murderer, are you really going to ask that? If you're just going to ask an obvious or pointless question can we just hurry this up and be done.
"Question 8. Cake or Pie"
... Really, you're going to do this to me.
"Answer the question or be terminated."
Screw you! I choose cake! Happy now?
....
"Question 1499. Do you like breathing?
OH MY GOD! How long are you going to troll me for! I'm sorry please can we just finish, I'm sorry for whatever I did to spite you oh great system. Oh and yes I like to breathe.
"Final question. What would you do first if you had all the power in the world?"
Finally, anyways that's an easy one. probably the easiest of you've asked me. The first thing I would do is go and kill that damnable annoying dipshit god Akkre.
"Thank you for your time in completing the short survey. Please wait while a suitable body is made to best suit you... suitable body creation complete. Once the transfer is complete please take time to review your status. Initiating 3... 2... 1... 0."
As the countdown ends I experience a short bout of dizziness, but at least I don't lose consciousness again. As I regain my bearings, I still find myself surrounded by darkness. But even if I can't see, I can feel it. I have a body once more, but something seems off. I certainly feel a body but why can't I feel any arms or legs? Ah right, the system said to review my status once whatever it was doing was complete. How do I do this... I think I remember some of my students talking about a novel that was similar to my situation right now. what was it they said again, oh. Status.
After thinking about it the familiar screen showed back up.
Name: Cordelia Auspin
Race: Elite Hatchling Sea Snake (Talonian Regional Variant)
Titles: N/A
Level: 1
EXP: 0/45
HP: 8/8 MP: 5/5
STR: 10
VIT: 9
DEX: 15
INT: 18
WIS: 12
MND: 3
CHA: 9
LUCK: 3
Skills: Acid Spray (1), Tail Swipe (1), Venomous Bite (1)
Mutations: N/A (See Potential Mutations)
Available Evolutions: N/A (See Potential Evolutions)
Details: A newly reincarnated Talonian Sea Snake. Some stats have been altered to accommodate for the previous life's attributes. As an Elite monster, you gain a bonus to all stats, current bonus +3. As a hatchling that hasn't even broken out of its egg, you are pretty weak.
"What the hell! I reincarnated as a snake! ... Actually this might work."