YouthGod
Ugh..... third review of the day... I am thinking of becoming a full time reviewer, any one interested... JK I read the first chapter, so I no nothing about the plot. The story had a lot of eerror, which I wanted too but I couldn't as I am too tired fixing errors. they grammar is wonky. I would have prefered going past for narrative and present for FPOV. One thing good is your character. it is consistent, with no change, but imporve your style and grammar . the text felt too weird .
Thanks author for the effort. Appreciate it as this is your first work. Itâs an interesting read. Here are my comments 1. Johnâs charater setup how he was hit and then revived into a family raised by Sophia and the whole system introduction came it - that was neat 2. initially when i read about John, Peter the chuches and the 3 groupings that lived including the beast - somehow i thought it was related to the book of john, peter as in the bible and how fishes n loaves of bread gets multiplied - haha. Good to read Johnâs characther on thinking about the family n how he could help his mother multiply thier supplies n money. 3. The two mission - look foward to see the climax of the plot and the end game from John what is he trying to achieve with his gift / talent. Keep up the effort!
I got immersed in reading more. I was planning to read until 10th chapter but since the story is great and has incredible story-telling, I reached more chapters. I recommend this to those who are interested in quality-wise and a great story-telling novel. My only concern is that, I hope the author would give us more elaboration or description of the surroundings of the story. It would improve the story-telling if there is more elaboration to the surroundings so that our imagination could go further while reading this. Keep it up Author-nim! Give us more chapters...
So, I love the world background, the system, the characters and how it's all put in place. But, there are a lot of Isekai's out there, and to be honest I think trying to make yours a bit different or even significantly different from others is going to work great. Also, there are spelling and grammar errors. If you want you can ask a friend that speaks fluent English to proof read for you, and give pointers/help out.