So, I love the world background, the system, the characters and how it's all put in place. But, there are a lot of Isekai's out there, and to be honest I think trying to make yours a bit different or even significantly different from others is going to work great. Also, there are spelling and grammar errors. If you want you can ask a friend that speaks fluent English to proof read for you, and give pointers/help out.
YouthGod
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