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Gary does not exist

The inquisitors catch Revolutionary General Gary above secret underground tunnel entrance #6658

Revolutionary General Gary was dexterously dodging lasers, and hostile flora. He looked like the most acrobatic Revolutionary General that had ever lived.

"I will avenge Cal Evras! You butcher!"

Suddenly, the treant inquisitor rips up a scroll.

Revolutionary General Gary is struck by lighting.

"Fucking bullshit!" Revolutionary General Gary whispers.

Revolutionary General Gary is dead

Revolutionary General Gary's corpse is falling from the sky.

Revolutionary General Gary lived a short, eventful life.

Hated by millions of people. His death will mark a new era of peace and prosperity in the empire.

"Such a simple illusion! Do you look down on us fiend!" exclaims the elf.

A glowing crescent moon appears above his wrist. He flicks it at Revolutionary General Gary's corpse. The moonblade is eager to split Revolutionary General Gary in half.

Everything went black.

There was nothing to see.

No Gary.

No you.

No me.

Gary was sitting on a cloud. A television screen in front of him showed only static.

Gary had a little man in his hand.

This little man was Little Gary

Little Gary had a littler man in his hand.

Littler Gary.

Littler Gary offered Little Gary a normal sized apple.

Little Gary took the apple, and offered it to the blob.

The blob was not satisfied.

Gary picked up a bucket and placed it under the sink.

Gary filled the bucket with black water.

The blob wanted the bucket, but did not want to touch it.

Gary poured the black water off the cloud.

Gary thinks about taking a sip from the glass of water on the table.

"How does it feel to be such a failure?" Gary asks the blob.

Gary's face materializes all over the blob.

"It stings, a bit" said Blob Gary.

Gary sat back down, and stared at the tv static.

Gary's eyes were static.

Static. White noise.

Reality wakes up, and makes a B-line for the bathroom.

Reality empties out yesterday's dinner, and the 14 beers Reality had before yesterday's dinner.

Reality can still see some bits of cheese, bacon, ham, pepperoni, a wiggling thing?

This wiggling thing was Blob Gary.

Reality flushed Blob Gary down its toilet, and decided not to think about it anymore.

Reality decided it was in no condition to go to work, and was justified in sleeping through the morning.

Reality went back to bed.

Gary is dead.

Gary was never alive.

Gary does not exist.

What are these two inquisitors still doing here?

"What am I still doing here?" Said the treant Inquisitor Sirius.

"Subardos? What am I doing here?" wondered the elf Inquisitor Lukas.

"Wait! The revolution! We're trying to hunt down the general!" exclaims Inquisitor Lukas.

"But General who?" asks Sirius.

Lukas remembers that they had been hunting down the man responsible for the rape of Cal Evras. They had just been in a battle with the rebels, and the general was meant to be here.

"Show yourselves rebel dogs! Tell us the location of your general, and we will spare your pitiful lives!" Boomed Inquisitor Lukas

Only the rain hitting the jungle floor responded.

"Dammit we let them escape while we were distracted! What the fuck were we doing!" Yelled Inquisitor Sirius.

"Relax Sirius. We'll head back to Floatingtown, and wait for the expeditionaries. We'll comb the forest then we'll gut that spineless terrorist in the street. For Cal Evras, and the safety of the empire." stated Lukas.

The two inquisitors left the area.

"Wow those guys were scary" thought Not Gary.

Not Gary was not Gary, because Gary did not exist.

Not Gary decided that not being was not for him.

Not Gary thought himself into existence, and then he was.

Not Gary was now a real boy, and therefore could not remain Not Gary.

Not Gary shall therefore now be Gary.

Not just any Gary! It was Revolutionary General Gary!

Revolutionary General Gary was happy to be alive. Revolutionary General Gary no longer thought it was cool to be a Revolutionary General.

Revolutionary General Gary decided to drop the mantle of Revolutionary General as that Gary had ceased to exist.

Revolutionary General Gary was now dear old Gary.

Gary reflected on what had happened back there.

He had somehow managed to break through to the Young Master realm.

The True Death Defy technique had reacted strangely with the Gary is Dead skill. They'd begun mutating and fusing. Gary could now see the process within his sea of consciousness.

Gary sat on the beach letting the tide splash black water on his toes. Gary looked up at the sky.

There he saw his soul floating in place. Inside, there was information. This information was grafted onto his soul any time he first effectively used a skill, or adopted a new technique. The skill would form a sort of information sigil that stored the necessary data that the mana would interpret. These sigils could also be considered a form of rune. The central soul rune, or cultivation technique as it was called, had started to fuse with Gary's Gary is dead rune. Gary witnessed the birth of a brand new Gary themed cultivation technique.

Gary is Not Real

This cultivation technique allows a Gary to defy the laws of reality, and cease to exist. A Not Gary can then choose to, once again, become a Gary. The technique is based on the idea that reality is malleable, and that if you pretend hard enough to not exist you simply won't. What a ridiculous idea. The creator ceased to exist, if you're wondering how useful this could be to you.

Gary was quite happy with the technique as it was potentially a blank check. Unfortunately he did not know whether or not he was remembered now that he exists again.

Fortunately for the multiverse. Gary was remembered after he once again chose to exist. Gary's nonexistence had led to a lot of confusion, and paranoia. The inquisitors all decided to wear defensive objects that protect against mind control, and the rebels gained a new found respect, and a healthy amount of fear, for their otherwise pathetically weak Revolutionary General.

Gary's life was now in even more danger, as offensive mind magics were strictly forbidden by the Immortal Sunset Empire.

Gary has decided to move to the far east.

Gary needs to reach a port, and to acquire any ship that would be of use to Gary in this endeavor. Good luck Gary! He always has such terrible luck the poor boy. I'm surprised he isn't dead, again.