29 Chapter 29— A Prank To End them All

~Fun Fact: When Ron destroys Slytherin's Locket in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1, Harry first opens it by saying "Saia, Satanás, saia já." This is Portuguese for "Get out Satan, get out now!"

Need I point out the hilarity of this?

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With Yuletide just on the horizon, the castle was abuzz with a festive spirit that seemed to permeate throughout the halls and settle in the very roots of the castle. This was accompanied by the steady decline in temperature and the occasional fall of snow and although cold, only seemed to elevate the festive cheer even more. Over the course of the weeks, I found myself spending my weeks either completing homework essays, seated in meditation in order to find my magic or in the Room of Requirement with Harry. These three events tended to overlap quite often however I made sure not to neglect my friends. After all, there's nothing worse than a group of grumpy children. Walking over to Ozzy's beanbag situated at the foot of my bed, I prodded him awake, his eyes flashing in annoyance.

"Oh, don't be like that man," I said, stroking his head and rubbing behind his ears in order to appease him. "I brought you food, see?"

Pushing forward a tray of tinned sardines. Ozzy's eyes glimmered in excitement as he scarfed down the fish, not calming down until he devoured everything on the tray. Over the course of the last few months, he had taken to exploring the new and unfamiliar castle, coming back to the common room during the dead of night and sleeping through the morning. Once Ozzy had fallen back asleep, I got changed and walked out of the common room, being careful not to wake anybody up. It was, after all, only six o'clock in the morning.

During one of my many escapades into the Room of Requirement, I saw it fit for me to research a suitable warming charm for myself. I realised that as it got more and more colder, the need for a warming charm would become even more important. Casting a Warming Charm on myself, I stepped outside into the castle grounds easing myself with a slow jog, inhaling and exhaling rhythmically as my breath condensed before me.

"So, who's going home?" I asked the boys once I returned to my dorm room, fresh and clean thanks to Shorty's services.

"I'm going home," Said Ernie. "I'll have to since my mother has been harping on and on about how much she misses me."

"Me too," Replied Justin. "My parents are really interested in how Wizarding Britain works."

"This the same for the rest of you?" I asked the remaining boys who all hummed in agreement.

Inwardly rejoicing at the solitude I would receive in return for their absence, I portrayed a calm but somewhat regretful exterior to them.

"Damn, that's too bad," I said, frowning slightly. "I'm staying this year. Guess I'll be alone…"

'Thank Merlin and all that is good!'

"Don't worry Yan," Neville said, attempting to console me. "We'll have as much fun as we can until Christmas. We still have around four weeks together."

"Indeed," Said Zacharias from across the room, currently fighting off Wayne's hyperactive tickle assault. "Will you cease your incessant behaviour!"

I let out a bark of laughter at Wayne's roughhousing. I paused in thought realising that I had around 6 weeks to steal the Stone. That was if I left two weeks for planning, after which I'd have two weeks to survey the area and traps and another two to actually do the deed. But then I'd also have to account for...

"Yan!" Wayne exclaimed, rushing over to me and shaking me by the shoulders, jarring me from my thoughts. "Want to Prank some people? It is Saturday and you always make sure we finish our homework before the weekend comes around so we're free."

I weighed the options up in my head. The fun would do me some good. For all my supposed maturity and level-headedness, I was still in the body of a child. And what harm was there in practising the practical aspect of Magic while enjoying it in the process?

"Sure," I replied, still in my sportswear. "Let me change out of this and then we can all head down to the Great Hall after meeting up with Susan and Hannah. I say we prank Harry and the rest of his friends."

There was a nervous silence during which I was somewhat flabbergasted. They couldn't seriously be afraid of pranking Harry. In retrospect, they probably were. To them, he was the Boy-Who-Lived as false as that image is, the Hero of heroes.

"What, you guys aren't telling me you're afraid now," I teased, a hint of condescension seeping into my voice. Wayne, the brash fool that he was, looked indignant at my remark. "Then surely you guys can manage to help me prank a group of first years, no? Don't worry, we're going to the twins for this."

Since the Prank War was nearing its end, the volume of pranks began to increase causing the leaderboard to fluctuate as the weeks went by. The current house in first place was Ravenclaw however both Slytherin and Gryffindor were in second and third respectively. The Lions were fuming at the notion that they were being shown up by people who in their opinion were "slimy snakes" so most of the pranks this week had come from them. As a consequence of their unmitigable fury, the Hogwarts corridors had turned into a battlefield that even the teachers had stopped their futile attempts in trying to control; that was every teacher except Professor McGonagall who over the course of the last few weeks had done her best to sanction as many students as she could. She had long since given up in stopping the Prank War, instead opting to cause as much damage as she could and I couldn't say that I didn't find it absolutely hilarious. She was a stickler for the rules, of course, meaning she couldn't bear to see anyone damaging or threatening the school's status quo.

Professor Flitwick, on the other hand, was excited at the surge in interest of students in his Charms lessons. Charms were one of the more popular ways students caused mischief after all. The other being Runes, however the lower years didn't have access to the Ancient Runes for obvious reasons. However, what I had heard down the Hogwarts rumour mill was that Professor Babbling was as equally happy with the applications of runes as Flitwick was with Charms. Professor Snape had maintained his calm indifference to the Prank War however I had no idea what went on behind the closed doors of the Slytherin common room. Finally Professor Sprout implicitly encouraged us Puffs to do our best; the Hufflepuff house had sat back and accepted their disrespect for far too long in her eyes. This was never outright said though, however in the case that we referred back to her for misdemeanours involving pranks, she generally looked the other way or let us off with a "warning" and some kind of candy.

'You've got to love Professor Sprout!'

*****

A short while later, breakfast had been had and I was wandering around the school in search of the twins. The reason being that my friends and I had finally settled on a way to prank Harry and his friends and I reasoned that the Twin Terrors of Gryffindor were the perfect way to do that. A few minutes had passed and I found myself somewhere in the east wing of the seventh floor, being passed by a flood of Gryffindors. I tugged at the robes of one seventh year, who turned around and broke into a grin as he patted my head.

"What can I do for you, little badger?" He asked good-naturedly.

I let out a sigh in relief, blessing my childish cuteness a thousand times.

"Excuse me," I began, fully aware of the fact that when speaking with someone who could kick my arse seven ways to Sunday, manners were paramount. "Do you know where I could find the Twins?"

"The Twins, huh?" He said, holding his chin pensively. "They were back at the common room a few minutes ago so you should catch them on their way out if you go now."

"Thank you!" I called out, speeding off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room.

"No problem!" Replied the seventh year, waving back at me.

Weaving through the bodies of several Gryffindors, I spotted a pair of lanky redheads in the distance, putting on a burst of speed in response. I reached them eventually, grabbing onto their robes in order to attract their attention. They turned around, matching grins breaking out across their faces after seeing me.

"Why if it isn't our favourite little firstie!" Exclaimed Fred, extending his hand towards me.

"Now now, my less handsome brother," Said George. "Harry still exists you know, are you cheating on him already?"

I chuckled in response, grasping Fred's hand and shaking it.

"He's not wrong George," I replied. "I thought you were better than this…"

That elicited a laugh from the Twins.

"Now, I've come looking for you in search of something that I'm sure you'll appreciate." I said, a sly smile on my face.

"Oh," Began Fred, leering closer.

"Is that so?" Finished George, doing the same before sharing a look with his brother. "Tell us what you'll need and then we'll see if we can get it or not."

"Do you guys have an ageing potion, perchance?" I asked, somewhat hopefully.

"We do, but it'll cost you." Replied Fred, rubbing his hands together.

"How much?"

"The normal price is a Galleon but for you, seventeen Sickles." Said George.

"Do I look like an idiot?" I asked the Twins, chuckling. "A Galleon and seventeen Sickles are the same thing. The only difference is whether or not you want to be carrying around sixteen more coins."

"Dearie me, he's caught us," Said George, turning to Fred.

"Indeed he has, brother-of-mine," Replied Fred, before turning back to me. "Sorry, we may be friends but standard rules apply. A Galleon for our services, we are in need of money you know."

"Not a problem," I replied, reaching into the black pouch hung from my belt and withdrawing a Galleon.

Equally devilish grins spread across the Twins' faces in response as they rubbed their hands in anticipation.

"Well my friend, you've got yourself a deal," Said George, patting my shoulder.

"Indeed," Added Fred, placing his hand on my other shoulder. "Thank you for your patronage."

"No, I should be thanking you lads instead." I replied back to them with a sinister smile on my face.

*****

The day trudged on and once the academic portion of it had finished, it was finally time to move onto the next step of my plot; the action phase. Sitting on the bottom bunk of my bed, I looked around the dorm in order to make sure I was alone, after which I whispered a single name.

"Shorty."

With a quiet pop, Shorty appeared in front of me, blinking owlishly before breaking into a grin and hugging me.

"Young Master Yan!" He exclaimed, his voice expressing his joy at being in my presence. "How is your day being? Shorty has missed Young Master Yan."

I held back a snort as I thought of how similar I currently was to a generic Young Master.

"How are you Shorty," I said, patting the young Elf's head. "I trust all is well?"

"Everything is going superbly, Young Master Yan," The Elf replied, puffing his chest out at his use of the adjective.

"That's good," I said. "Shorty I'm going to need you to do something for me."

"What is it that Shorty must be doing?"

I leaned closer towards his ears, whispering my masterplan to the Elf as his eyes widened in response.

"Shorty will be doing Young Master's wishes," The Elf replied, leaning back and giving me a crude bow before popping back to wherever he came from.

A few hours later, I was seated in the Great Hall with the rest of my year mates eating and drinking merrily and well, waiting in anticipation for the upset of the evening. If everyone was going to leave for Christmas, I thought that I'd give them a festive send off.

As if in tandem with my thoughts, there was an uproar at the Slytherin table, the murmuring soon turning into rambunctious and roaring laughter. The cause of which was none other than Harry and the rest of his Slytherin friends. I stood up in order to get a better look at my handiwork, my eyes twinkling humorously. What was once a group of healthy 11 year-olds had transformed into a parody of old age. There Harry stood, completely confused and somewhat alarmed at his situation. One minute he was a spirited and healthy child, the next he and his compatriots stood there with aching backs, stark silver hair, sunken eyes and hollow cheeks accompanied by flowing beards that could rival that of Dumbledore for the boys and an abundance of wrinkles for the two unfortunate girls. No longer able to hold in my laughter, I began howling in mirth, gathering strange looks from my fellow Hufflepuffs. Eventually, my rancorous laughter landed in the ears of Harry who walked towards me as fast as his old bones would allow him to. I glanced around the hall in search of the twins, running up to them once I found them.

"This is hilarious!" I exclaimed, clutching my sides.

The Twins grinned at each other before placing a hand on each of my shoulders.

"Now Mr Barak," Said George, deepening his voice in order to sound like a teacher. "This was amazing, we had no idea you were going to do this here!"

"You know me," I said, grinning cockily. "I aim to please. Now if you fine gentlemen would excuse me, I have some old people to take care of, their backs don't seem to be doing too well."

My comment elicited a laugh from those in earshot of my comment as I walked towards the first year section of the Slytherin table, grinning at Harry once I neared him.

"N-Now what have you done!" He warbled, causing me to break out into mildly unrestrained laughter.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about," I replied, my amused face giving away my lie.

"Is that so?" He said, pointing a shaking finger at me, causing me to burst out into another fit of giggles. "We'll see about that."

"Oh God," I chuckled, wiping mirthful tears from my eyes. "This is too funny, I've got to tell mum and dad about this."

The blood rushed from Harry's already pale and wizened face, a feat I didn't think was possible.

"You wouldn't…" He trailed off, his dread becoming quite apparent as the meaning of my words truly sunk in.

'He's probably imagining how that would play out.' I thought unashamedly. 'Whatever he's thinking is probably correct too!'

"I wouldn't do what Harry, hmm?" I said, doing my best not to choke on my laughter; a feat that was becoming increasingly harder the longer I looked at him. "Immortalise this moment in our family's history? No, no, of course I wouldn't. In all seriousness though, this will wear off in about an hour so enjoy your old age Harry!"

His face reddened as veins began to bulge against his face and I feared that he would have an aneurysm; although it would be funny, I didn't want him to collapse and die on the floor so I chose to walk away. Cackling as I turned around, I sped off towards the Hufflepuff table, knowing full well his old bones wouldn't be able to catch me, all the while the laughter never ceased around the Hall. Even the Professors seemed amused and I could swear that I saw a ghost of a smile on Professor Snape's face however it could have easily been a trick of the light— whether or not it happened, no-one would ever know and I wouldn't ever dare to push my luck and find out.

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*A/N: So, a bit of a comedy centric chapter this time, I hope it wasn't too bad. It felt pretty fun to write and I am back (I think) into the full swing of uploading I believe; though school is also back too. As such, the uploading schedule will now be Mondays and Fridays meaning I shall be uploading twice a week. That also means that I have time to write future chapters while releasing in what I hope to be a constant fashion. As always, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. If you did, do donate some power stones to me since I'm pretty sure they would make it so that my story is visible to more people. I also want to see how far up the rankings we can get in around a month or so. One more thing, don't forget to join the discord if you'd like to! See you guys when the next chapter releases and I hope you all stay safe until then.

Yours truly,

—AshestoDust

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