No. Spying is generally not ethical. In relationships, trust is fundamental. If you suspect something wrong between your wife and your friend, it's better to communicate openly rather than spying. For example, in most healthy relationships, talking it out clears misunderstandings.
Yes, it is clearly an inappropriate interest. Such a topic is private and should not be a subject of interest among people in this relationship. It violates the normal boundaries of friendship and marriage.
You might also need to have an open conversation with your wife. Explain the situation to her without causing unnecessary misunderstandings. Maybe she can help handle this delicate situation. For instance, she could talk to her friend and make it clear that such behavior is not proper in the context of your relationship.
One story might be that your friend is a musician. When he visits your home, he starts playing the guitar. Your wife, who loves music, joins in and they start singing together. This creates a great atmosphere and from that moment, they often share music playlists and discuss different music genres. They might even go to local music concerts together. This kind of interaction can bring a lot of joy to both of them and also add a new dimension to your family's social life.
One story could be that a man noticed his wife and friend acting strangely when they were together. He started to spy on them by secretly following them to a coffee shop. There, he saw them having an intense conversation that seemed rather secretive. But in the end, it turned out they were planning a surprise birthday party for him.
Another story might be that my wife was alone with my friend at a coffee shop waiting for me. They started discussing books as they both love reading. They got so engrossed in the conversation that they didn't notice the time passing. By the time I got there, they had a list of books to recommend to each other and were excited to tell me all about their literary chat.
Sharing one's wife with a best friend is completely unethical in most ethical frameworks. Marriage is a bond based on loyalty, commitment, and exclusivity between two people. It violates the trust and respect that should exist within a marital relationship.
This is an inappropriate and vulgar topic. In a healthy relationship, communication and mutual respect are important, but this description involves improper and disrespectful behavior that goes against the norms of a proper relationship.
Well, it might be that your friend has a collection of anecdotes about your wife. For example, he might know some funny things she did at a party they both attended, or he could have stories about how she helped him out in a difficult situation. It doesn't necessarily mean anything inappropriate. It could just be normal experiences that he holds as stories related to her.