sakura is so useless fanfiction

During an internal Navy hearing, the top brass conducted a serious inquiry into Rogers Daren, the so-called "scum of the Marines" and Admiral of the North Blue. "You’ve had improper relations with royal princesses and noble ladies from multiple North Blue kingdoms?" "I call it showing care for the people." Marines High Command: … "How do you explain the absurdly high salaries of the North Blue Marines under your command?" "Well, with what the HQ pays, how else do you expect them to risk their lives?" Marines High Command: (ーー`) "Why is the North Blue fleet equipped with technology from Germa?" "That’s just military-civilian cooperation. Germa 66 was moved by my sense of justice." Marines High Command: (○_○) "And how do you explain the unusual deaths of a Celestial Dragon in the North Blue?" Daren sighed. "A maritime accident… truly unfortunate. I personally express my deepest condolences." Marines High Command: (._.?) And so begins the story of a rebellious, unorthodox Marine.

After accidentally transmigrating into Douluo Dalu and becoming Ning Rongrong, the little princess of the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda Clan, how will she—armed with knowledge of the original plot—make the Seven Treasure Glazed Tile Pagoda even greater? Join Shrek Academy? No, no—perhaps there’s another choice… --- Read advance chapters on patreon.com/Ferasam

Okazumi Tsutomu lived an ordinary life, but it was in death that his life would truly start. Tsutomu is given the chance to reincarnate in Naruto's world as Haruno Sakura with cheats. Unfortunately for him, he is given the wrong character template cheat due to a clerical error: the Let’s Aim to Become the Best Kunoichi, Kyuun~ Manyuu Chifusa Breast Flow System. With this joke of a system that allows her to steal other women's breasts, can the new Sakura survive until the end of the story? Or is there more to Breast Flow than meets the eye? Read and find out! (This will mostly be a comedy, so don't expect too much degeneracy or smut lol)

“The world is always wrong.” After surviving high school with my cynical wit and a complete lack of romantic progress, I—Hikigaya Hachiman was ready to live a peaceful, uneventful life. No youth, no drama, no forced social interaction. That dream came to a crashing halt when I somehow woke up in a world where horse girls—yes, literal girls with horse ears and tails—race professionally while chasing their dreams. And apparently… I’m now their trainer. Me. The guy whose idea of teamwork is "doing everything myself to avoid dealing with people." Special Week smiles at me like I’m her hero. Tokai Teio asks for advice like I have wisdom. Mejiro McQueen demands a training plan like I know what I’m doing. Spoiler: I don’t. But every race pulls me deeper. Every tear, every laugh, every finish line crossed… I start to understand these girls. Maybe... just maybe... This world isn’t as wrong as I thought. A loner, a realist, and a former Service Club ghost becomes the heart of a new team. This is the story of how I, Hikigaya Hachiman, became the most reluctant—and possibly the most effective—Uma Musume trainer this world has ever seen. ---------------------------- Unlock the next 30 chapters at p@treon

From mosquito to Star God. From the Previous Era to Honkai: Star Rail. This is a path of non-human evolution, a path of empire establishment, spanning the Honkai Universe. The first half is pure異獸 - Honkai Previous Era (the pure Honkai storyline ends here); The interlude will be a Genshin Impact short story (the author's nonsensical prophecies); The second half will be Honkai: Star Rail (a story of the interstellar cosmos, various Neta, and a few elements from the Honkai Current Era).

(SI/No Meta/OCxNaruto endgame/full "reconstruction" of the entire franchise through Shippuden and Boruto) Bronze Winner – Webnovel Fanfic Fiesta! I died in the wrong forest…and woke up in Konoha, in the body of a girl. I was an anxious second-grader bleeding out in the woods. In this one I open my eyes in a hospital bed, as “Sylvie” – an orphan with no clan, no past, and a body that feels strangely more right than what I left behind. The village calls me just another stray, but one loud blond boy with whisker marks decides otherwise. I become Naruto’s first real friend...and, when Team 7 forms, the kunoichi standing where Sakura would have been. This is Naruto’s tale of never giving up. It’s also mine: the boy who died once, became a girl, and refused to let anyone face their nightmares alone. And in a village built on shadows and used to treating children as tools: staying together is a war of its own. [2026 Release Schedule: 1-2 chapters from Mon-Thurs (@8gmt and 14gmt), 2-3 chapters Fri-Sun (@8gmt, 14gmt, and 19gmt)] [IMPORTANT: July 19th starts "slower schedule" (2 chapters every day @8gmt and 18gmt]

I've been reincarnated into the Naruto universe. And to top it all off, I'm a girl now! There are no special perks here – no helpful systems, no cheat codes. It's just the brutal reality of life as a shinobi, but... Please note: This is a translated version. All credit and rights are reserved by the original author. Original: 三竦樱传 作者：时间她总说谎 patreon.com/Shinobi_Scrolls -50 Advance Chapters

In the year 1495 of the Grand Line calendar, the Roger Pirates, escaping a storm, picked up six-year-old Haruno Sakura. Year 60 of the Konoha Calendar, the Civilian Ninja, Haruno Sakura, entered the Ninja Academy with the top score in Chakra Reserves. Since fate had given her this opportunity, whether on the high seas or in the Ninja World, Sakura would make her name resound across the world. -In short, let the battle begin! {The Main Character is a Male in his previous life.) (No Yuri, No Marriage) --- Check out my other novels at my Profile... Advanced Chapters: patreon.com/ChickenGOD

After being isekai'd to Nagazora City in the Honkai-verse and realizing it's early 2014—right before the outbreak of the 3rd Honkai Eruption—Lin Yu chooses his path. If the grind doesn't kill you, then grind until you die. "My precious Honkai, today, I'm going to out-grind you to death!" Day 2 in the Honkai-verse. System: [Host, you have budding young ladies here like the Tuna, the Herrscher of Thunder (Mei), and Bronya, as well as captivating, mature women like Himeko and Cocolia—] "Shut up. Do not disturb my dao heart." Even though I out-grinded the Herrscher of Thunder, it's not enough. Keep grinding. Day 40 in the Honkai-verse. Today I out-grinded Chiyou, but it was just a kill-steal. Not enough, keep grinding. Day 85 in the Honkai-verse. Today I cut the life-drained Kevin in half, but it's still not enough. Keep grinding. Day 115 in the Honkai-verse. Although Otto has been vanquished, he died without the chance to become a false god, so it is what it is. Keep grinding. Day 236 in the Honkai-verse. After grinding for eight months, Lin Yu stood in the Sea of Quanta, gazing at the Cocoon of Finality before him, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Yo, Cocoon, are you ready?" "Now, it's my turn to 'embrace' you!" Note: This is a translation. Original name is "人在崩坏，这个旁白不对劲". All credit goes to the original author. Changed Lin Yu -> Leo Ash (Completion Note: This translation concludes the Honkai Impact 3rd story arc. The original work extends into Honkai: Star Rail, but those chapters are not yet included.)

I suddenly woke up in the Marvel Universe, rich, handsome, and backed by tens of millions in inheritance. Life was perfect until I remembered the purple potato planning to erase half the universe. Luckily, I received a golden finger that lets me travel between worlds. Unluckily, the other side was DC, a world crawling with demons, gods, and psychopaths in spandex. My cheat turned out to be useless in both universes. So how do I survive when heroes destroy cities for breakfast and villains eat planets for lunch? Simple. I rely on my wife. Venom. ---------------------------- Unlock the next 30 chapters at p@treon