new yorker funny short stories

Be an Uber driver, one Pagani Zonda rewarded. Be a university lecturer, 10 buildings rewarded. Be a landlord, 1billion dollars rewarded. Be… Lin Yi was fired by his company and his girlfriend cheated on him. After all that had happened, he suddenly awakened the professional experience system. He could keep receiving awards as long as he kept trying and experiencing new professions? There is no job that Lin Yi isn’t familiar with! If there is, that means that the reward isn’t enticing enough!

“How perverted is Si Ye Han's taste? He still wants me like this?” Waking up, she looked at her reflection in the mirror: explosive wig, tattoos, and demon-like makeup. Any normal person’s eyes would burn if they looked at her for more than a second. Before her rebirth, she was in love with a different guy, so all she wanted to do was escape from Si Ye Han and hated him to his core after being locked up by him. After her rebirth, she looked differently at him, thinking that maybe he changed for the better? In the past, her mind was muddled. She let go of a stunning husband, was hurt by a scumbag and backstabber and most of all, was brainwashed by her most trusted friend. In the end, she was utterly alone. In her current lifetime, there are evil people scheming and eagerly waiting for her downfall. Sorry, but this girl won’t fall for the same tricks twice!

“Bakit napakalibog ni Si Ye Han? Ganito pa rin ang tingin niya sa akin?” Pagkagising niya, tiningnan niya ang kanyang sarili sa salamin: sinalubong siya ng sabog na wig, tatuan at mala-demonyong makeup. Kahit isang segunda lang, paniguradong masusunog ang mga mata ng isang normal na tao. Iba ang lalaking iniibig niya sa una buhay noon, bago siya mabuhay muli. Gusto niya lamang makawala kay Si Ye Han na kinagagalitan niya dahil ikinulong siya nito, Pero nang mabuhay siya ulit, nag-iba ang kanyang pananaw kay Si Ye Han, umaasa na siya na baka… magbabago na ito? Sa buhay niya noon, walang direksyon at napakagulo ng isip niya. Naghiwalay sila ng gwapo niyang asawa, sinaktan ng masama at mapanirang tao; higit sa lahat, ginamit siya ng matalik niyang kaibigan. At sa huli, siya ay naiwang nag-iisa. Pero ngayon, sa panibagong buhay niya, hinihintay at nagpa-plano na pabagsakin pa lamang siya ng mga masasamang taong iyon. Pasensya na pero, hindi na muli magpapaloko ang babaeng ito!

Ajax is an orphan who survives a massacre along with his friends but unfortunately gets separated from them. Fortunately, after a turn of events, he successfully gains a system which helps him increase his cultivation but doesn't know what it is called. But he knows one thing for sure, this system is mighty and helpful in taking his revenge. "Whoever you are, I am gonna find you", Ajax mumbled with a disgruntled expression. In a world where the Summoning of an elemental spirit is done through a dream when they are 15 years old, Ajax with the help of a system and his summoned spirits sets out on a journey to seek revenge against the mastermind behind the massacre.

Have you ever felt like you wanted to live a new life as someone else? Have you ever desired to experience a new life without the limits that our daily lives always put us through? Have you ever had the crave for adventure and to soar across endless horizons? Brand New Life Online, a new Full Dive VRMMO promised to make all these dreams come true. Said to be a brand-new experience at life, an incredibly realistic game and acclaimed to be fantastically complex yet simplistic enough for just anybody to understand and enjoy, this virtual reality game quickly took over the entire world of video games, with new players soaring the tens of millions in its first year of launch! Elayne, a young mother, is suddenly thrown into this game because she wanted to reconnect with her daughter, but she’ll quickly find herself delving into endless conflicts, fights, action, and a world filled with history and mysteries… Will our protagonist be able to progress through these challenges all while taking care of her farm, protecting the forest, and also seeking her daughter? Who knows? Maybe she’ll even end up defeating a World Boss! Over 100000 Words available for FREE! Daily Chapters

The world ended in 2012. Hao Xuan was transported to a new realm along with the rest of humanity. The novel follows his adventures through this vast new plane, fighting men and beasts alike, making friends, finding love, and etching out his own existence in the boundless universe all the while trying to unravel an insidious plot that he has unwittingly become a part of. Romance, humor, friendship, betrayal, loss, schemes, light, and darkness. All the creatures from your dreams, stories, and movies are real in this absurdly wonderous world. TLDR: A Xuanhuan Eastern High fantasy novel centered around a displaced teen from earth in a world of cultivators, mythical monsters, Archaic Demons, and Old Gods. Tags: Magic, Adventure, Cultivation, Martial Arts, XianXia, Romance, Futuristic, Story Buildup, Demons and Gods, Gore and Violence, Military, Kingdom Building, mystery, exploration, sci-fi, Mech, World Jumping, Fate/Destiny. Official Discord (contains all new reference images): discord. gg / AHdSBFQ If you want to directly support me (preffered over all other channels): ko- fi. com/ shinigami8671

When they first met, Tang Wan sighed, “The fifth young master of the Jiang family is just as the rumors said. He’s celibate, aloof, prideful, and is a man to be revered. Unfortunately, he’s so smart that he no longer has any will to live, which made him sickly, and he’s going to die soon… Later on, the fifth young master brought her into his room. When she came out, everyone stared at her in shock. Why was she crying? …… Later on, it was said that the fifth young master returned after he recovered from his illness, and he brought a girl back. She appeared pure and harmless, but underneath that harmless appearance, she was actually a spitfire that offended quite a number of people. But the fifth young master just said, “I brought her back, so I’ll let her do whatever she wants. If… anything happens, I’ll take responsibility.” His best friend gave him a reminder. “You’re going to be responsible for someone from the Tang family?” “Since she came back with me, she’s mine. She’s just a young girl and is spoilt. I have to take responsibility.” After Tang Wan married into the Jiang family, she only had one mission. She must give birth to his children before he died! Meanwhile, the fifth young master was puzzled. “You’re a gentle and shy girl during the day, so why are you so different during the night?” Tang Wan thought. ‘I have to make every second count. He won’t be able to live long.’ After she gave birth to his son and he became one year old, Tang Wan was prepared to become a widow. However… ‘Why isn’t he dead yet?’ Much later, the fifth master of the Jiang family asked her, “I heard that you’ve been looking for my death every day. Do you want to kill me by sucking me dry?”

She gets drunk in the bar and accidentally offends her husband whom she has rarely met throughout their two-year-marriage! Rumor has it that Young Master Rong Yan is a germaphobe and will never let any woman get near him. Why is she an exception? Rumor has it that Young Master Rong Yan is ill-tempered and whoever offends him, would be sent to meet Hades. But why is she still in one piece after provoking him? She would definitely make those who bully her and treat her unfairly, pay the consequences for their actions! "Little Custard's Home Rules" "Rule No. 1: You may hug a pretty woman but you can't get intimate with them!"; "Rule No. 2: If you're displeased with me, you may raise your objections or make suggestions, but you’re not allowed to resort to violence!"

Humiliated by her ex-boyfriend's mother, Song Qiao was forced to end her first love. Facing the cold sarcasm from her half-sister, on the street in a fit of anger, she randomly grabbed a man, "Sir, do you have a girlfriend? If not, let's get married!" The man squinted at her and nodded, "Sure!" Marrying Lu Jingchen, Song Qiao received the utmost pampering, but just when she was falling for it, she discovered the reason behind everything... Five years later, Song Qiao made a strong return. Just as she stepped into An City's international airport, she was directly apprehended, and she was greeted with the squinting smile of a man, "Mrs. Lu, after traveling for five years, have you missed me and our son?" However, Song Qiao remained unfazed, her red lips slightly parted, "Sorry, Mr. Lu, we are already divorced. Please call me ex-wife!" The man was indifferent, pulling her into his arms, "I haven't signed the divorce agreement, and I haven't gone through the divorce procedures. How could there be an ex-wife to talk about?"

Talismans are a part of cultivation and what a better way to get into cultivating than to have the three top sects send talismans around. The "good" sect sends a talisman to make someone extremely beautiful. The "bad" sect sends a talisman to make everything around the person turn into a death sentence. The "neutral" sect sends a talisman of amplification by accident. What happens to a woman who has just gotten pregnant? Everything hits her belly. Join in as Rex who is in the fourth mortal realm gets a second chance to cultivate.