roald dahl funny dark short stories

Raze Cromwell was one who had suffered his entire life. A cruel upbringing that had forced his nature to turn sour. In order to survive, he did everything and anything he could, eventually giving him the name Dark Magus. A title that was only given to the very best of mages. “Everything in this world was taken from me, So I shall take everything from the world.” The five Supreme Magus had gathered to eliminate the great Raze, on his last legs, the Dark Magus had one more trick up his sleeve. Activating a forbidden spell, he finds himself living in another world, a world full of martial artists. A world where one could destroy mountain tops with their fist, but Magic still exists in the new world, and he’s the only one that knows about it. **** Note: Raze Cromwell is a character who briefly appears in My vampire system. (For 2 Chapters) There is no need to read My vampire system. Since this story is based on Raze before he became what he was in vampire system. Instagram: JKSManga Discord: jksmanga https://discord.gg/jksmanga

When they first met, Tang Wan sighed, “The fifth young master of the Jiang family is just as the rumors said. He’s celibate, aloof, prideful, and is a man to be revered. Unfortunately, he’s so smart that he no longer has any will to live, which made him sickly, and he’s going to die soon… Later on, the fifth young master brought her into his room. When she came out, everyone stared at her in shock. Why was she crying? …… Later on, it was said that the fifth young master returned after he recovered from his illness, and he brought a girl back. She appeared pure and harmless, but underneath that harmless appearance, she was actually a spitfire that offended quite a number of people. But the fifth young master just said, “I brought her back, so I’ll let her do whatever she wants. If… anything happens, I’ll take responsibility.” His best friend gave him a reminder. “You’re going to be responsible for someone from the Tang family?” “Since she came back with me, she’s mine. She’s just a young girl and is spoilt. I have to take responsibility.” After Tang Wan married into the Jiang family, she only had one mission. She must give birth to his children before he died! Meanwhile, the fifth young master was puzzled. “You’re a gentle and shy girl during the day, so why are you so different during the night?” Tang Wan thought. ‘I have to make every second count. He won’t be able to live long.’ After she gave birth to his son and he became one year old, Tang Wan was prepared to become a widow. However… ‘Why isn’t he dead yet?’ Much later, the fifth master of the Jiang family asked her, “I heard that you’ve been looking for my death every day. Do you want to kill me by sucking me dry?”

She had always assumed that her newlywed husband, with his staggering wealth, lacked the ability to procreate, so she was completely unguarded around him, failing to notice that someone's gaze was off... “I like women, our genders aren't compatible, let's get a divorce...” Su Xingyue came up with all sorts of reasons to divorce him, but Nan Yuling decisively, accurately, and ruthlessly cut off all her potential suitors, ensuring that she could only be spoiled by him alone! Besides that, he tirelessly proved it to her in person... Therefore, one day, Mrs. Nan, unable to bear the hardship, ran away from home once again... [He made pampering her a cage, imprisoning his love for her for a lifetime...]

Catastrophe erupted, it was the end of the world. Survivors were surrounded by the impregnable wall, a new order was established... The desire for power, faith, and darkness pervaded each other, layer upon layer of brands imprinted in every corner of the heart. The virus wreaked havoc, were these humans' true colors? "I unexpectedly survive, I want to live." –Du Dian

When Kyran turned 18, his life turned upside down. The Royal Army raided his clan because his supposedly non-existent magic got exposed. On that fateful night, he was the only one who escaped. Up to the present, the status of his clan was unknown. A magic inheritance that became a curse, Kyran became a fugitive. Always on the run... living in fear when the Royal Army finally captures him. At least that's what most people thought... "I'll definitely save my family. And I will make all those who made my clan suffer pay tenfold. I'll make use of this magic they so feared, and show them what real terror is...." Disclaimer: The cover image isn't mine. I'll replace it when I finished mine.

Wanna see short videos of your characters, check out discord at the end of the synopsis Warning: Many, like way many lemons and smuts. C'mon guys, you know it's gonna be a good one there's no need to read the synopsis and everything down here, but for context, you can go on but the potential is the first ten chapters, it won't hurt to give it a go, just try it and then thank me later, oh, I will be the one to thank you I guess. See you on the other side. Let's goooo Infinity Money and Endless Smut, lemons. Only the good goode things... Also check out my review in the reviews section. ___ Peter Carter is a 16-year-old orphaned virgin nerd who gets bullied daily at Lincoln High. His escort mother died at birth, he lives with his nurse mom and twin sisters, and his biggest achievement is surviving lunch without getting his ass kicked by quarterback Jack Morrison. ___ Human! That's what I fucking was. Me and Tommy were bottom-tier NPCs in everyone else's highlight reel. All I did was study and jack off to porn, fantasizing about women I'd never touch—Madison Torres, Mrs. Rodriguez, Sofia Delgado. They existed in a universe where I didn't even register as human. But then everything changed. [DING! You have Awakened the Dark Lord Seduction System!] A system born from the sexual frustration of hundreds of thousands if not billions of women worldwide, my mission was clear: liberate sexually neglected wives, daughters, unsatisfied hot students, my gym instructor, CEOs, frustrated teachers, and touch-starved women while earning System Points that convert to real money (1 SP = $100). [DING! Abilities gained: Magical Fingers, enhanced stats, master-level skills... ... Advanced Knowledge downloaded: Master Driving, Massage God, Advanced IT...] The system transformed me from school punching bag to irresistible seductive Dark Lord. Every intimate milestone earns SP—from first kisses to full encounters, cucking husbands saving their neglected wives, widows, wives and mistresses of billionaires while walking on the tight edge of seduction and eventual death if I got discovered by these rich guys I was helping satisfy the wives they'd neglected. Now I'm living a double life: shy nerd by day, dominant seducer by night, making bank while giving desperate women what they've been missing. From bottom-tier loser to supernatural playboy. I turn these neglected women into my women, mine alone as we unleash our hidden desires and forbidden intimacies. — Discord server: https://discord.gg/XvZdpUCNZp

In the depths of Tobaballe, Nin Urtuan is working as hard as he can to rise up. But with so much competition, it seems like only luck will get you a better life. One day, in a seemingly unfortunate turn of events where he runs into the voluptuous and mysterious Spire-Lord, Iishar Ho. Taking Nin with her, she shows him a secret within the Crown, a means to get ahead. The path of least resistance is so enamouring.  Setting out for the shores of the Molten Sea, at the base of the holy Anvil-Peak Mountain, Nin loses himself in the wonder of it. Behind his back, another deal unfolds, luck not for him, but for those high above in the Crown. A slaver of an unknown, spine-quilled race shoots him unconscious. The slaver loads him up, ready to ship Nin and so many others off to Jherikra.  A land of towering mountains, emerald winds, arcane beauty and monstrous horror! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Vol 5 Rewrite going on. (Multi-PoV, 1st Person) For reference: (If a chapter is marked with a ---- before Base, Incline or Peak, it means it is being edited throughout the day.)

{Completed} "A Rejected Omega, A Dark Alpha Prince and their twisted dangerous fate." Amelie Conley, the eldest daughter of a revered Alpha family, was once expected to carry on her family’s proud legacy. However, when she turned sixteen, she failed to awaken her wolf, which made her earn the scornful title—the Curse of the Conley Family. At eighteen, she found her destined mate and carried his child, believing she had finally been given a chance at happiness. But when she rushed to share the news, she found him in a compromising position with her younger sister, Flora. Betrayal cut deeper than any wound, but the final blow came when he rejected her without hesitation, declaring Flora as his true mate. Shunned and heartbroken, Amelie made the painful decision to leave her pack for the sake of her unborn child. But just as she tried to escape, she was ambushed—hunted down like prey. Desperate to protect herself and the life growing inside her, Amelie fled to save herself and her unborn child, only to collapse into the arms of an enigmatic stranger—Gabriel Sinclair. Gabriel was no ordinary man. He was the Alpha Prince, a name feared across the nation. For twelve long years, he had scoured the lands for his mate, only to find nothing. He had convinced himself that the Moon Goddess despised him, just as his own mother had. But the moment he laid eyes on Amelie, everything changed. "You were marked, weren't you?" His voice dropped, edged with something dangerously close to possession as his gaze met hers, demanding the truth.  The question left Amelie in a dilemma. She didn't wish to tell him the truth. "I am not an ordinary wolf, Amelie. Who the fuck marked you before me?" Gabriel voiced in a possessive yet intimidating tone.  Amelie didn’t know that the man, who saved her was none other than the infamous Dark Tyrant—the Alpha Prince, Gabriel Sinclair, whose intentions were still unknown to her. ~~~~ **The Story is a pure fiction. Names and places have nothing to do with anyone in real life.** Follow me on Instagram: rayoflight__pcy

Chu Yunsheng, an ordinary white-collar worker one day discovered his family heirloom book shined a bizarre light by accident. Out of curiosity, he tried to study the heirloom book. After studying for a long time, he still only understood a few symbols written in the book. However, he was shocked when he figured out what messages the book tried to tell him: The sun will disappear, humanity will be doomed... He tried to spread the message but no one believed him; his family and friends even tried to take him to see the psychiatrist. Eventually, he gave up telling anyone but prepared for the apocalypse in secret... Until one day, the sun really disappeared… our discord channel is https://discord.gg/xgjKg7G

In a world where the chosen one has defeated the demon lord and brought peace to the realm, now 500 years have passed since the demon's defeat. Aetheria, the world, appears peaceful, but is it truly so?