funniest hump day jokes

The first time they meet, she bumps into him. The second time they meet, she agrees to a marriage contract in exchange for his help in her bid for revenge. But... he becomes addicted to loving her. During his first attempt, he flies a helicopter domineeringly; in his second attempt, he arrogantly removes all his love rivals; in his third attempt, he tries to tie her down using a cute child. Youxuan replies with a plain resounding 'no' all three times. In the end, Shan Hanjie takes one look at her, grits his teeth, and plops onto the ground. "Babe, you dropped your prince charming, please bring him home!"

Seven years ago, at a charity gala, she unintentionally became his cure and ended up pregnant with fraternal twins.

“Didn’t you want me to be with you when you bought me? I’m willing to do it!” said the cold business tycoon. He was unrivalled when he behaved like a bully. “You… You liar!” She was pissed. He set up this trap and lured her into it. Now, he blamed her. She could not tolerate it anymore. She wanted a divorce. “Fine.” Spoiling a wife had no limits. He accommodated her whims. “The corporation belongs to you; The house belongs to you; The car belongs to you; I belong to you.” Who is Ye Lanchen? An unbeatable business tycoon. Who is Ye Lanchen? An unpredictable, distant overlord. Who is Ye Lanchen? A devil who spoils his wife to the core.

Growing up with eccentric materialistic parents who left him in the care of his grandfather for a job overseas, Zhang Heng had learned to adapt and be unfettered by the oddities and challenges in life. But he would soon learn the baffling truth about the world he thought he knew when one day at midnight time froze and he found himself in a world so quiet and still it was deafening. That night, he discovered that he had 24 hours more than everybody else and thus, marked the beginning of his adventures. The mysteries surrounding his newfound ability only deepened when a strange old man claimed to have given Zhang Heng that ‘gift of time’ and recruited the young man to participate in a cryptic ‘life-changing’ game on his behalf. Little did Zhang Heng know that accepting those terms meant embroiling himself in many versions of reality and exposing himself to the hidden secrets of the world—a decision he could never undo.

The ancient Buddha's head was stolen by a monster with a human body and a sheep's head. The Ghost buried an eye in the Buddha's temple, and from then on, the world's fire was extinguished, and darkness engulfed the continent. To combat the Ghost' invasion, the gods of day and night were born between heaven and earth. This is a narrative passed down for generations by storytellers. What was the true nature of the ancient Buddha, the Ghost, and the wandering gods of day and night on the once great continent? Perhaps, traces can be found in a troupe named 'Zhou Family Troupe.' The Zhou Family Troupe, is a troupe that performs operas specifically for the dead...

[AI Art for Most of the Main Cast will be Uploaded in P@treon and some Preview Pics in Webnovel.] (AI Art for Christine in Cover Picture.[My Creation]) ~~ 6 Times a Day (6TaD) is a story centers around a male high school student named Alan Plummer, who starts off as an awkward young man. Unbeknownst to him, his mother's best friend and neighbor lusts after him and concocts a phony medical diagnosis that requires him to have six orgasms a day, in order to seduce him. Things don't go quite as she plans and a chain of events and circumstances results in an increasing number of gorgeous women finding themselves 'helping' him with his "medical treatments." **Not my Own Novel, but found on SPACER X Website which is down nowadays.. thus i am re-editing and re-posting this novel which i have greatly enjoyed..If the Original Author wants to take down this publication, pls pm me at [email protected]** Otherwise Have Fun Reading this Novel you Bit$$es. Since i am editing this you expect a good update speed.. ------------ TAGS: HAREM, INCEST, TEACHER, NURSE, SEDUCTION, NTR (The Old Novel had some but I am dedicated to REMOVE them, If you find some which I missed, please mention the CHAPTER NO), SlowBurn ------------ Edit: Small amount of netorare has been mentioned by the readers, which the team is looking into, we haven't crossed that threshold,IF THERE IS NETORARE, THEN Read at your own risk, as it mostly woman seducing her son[ Acording to the readers, and i am not pushing myself to read ahead as it time consuming and not worth it] . If you are not into this categories, THIS IS A FREE NOVEL I AM PUBLISHING DURING MY FREE TIME, NOBODY IS FUCKIN FORCING YOU TO READ THIS NOVEL, SO STOP FUCKING GIVING 1 STAR REVIEWS WHEN I HAVE CLEARLY MENTIONED THE TAGS AND STORYLINE YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS.. P.S Thanks for all the Loyal Readers who have followed this novel from the beginning........Much Love...!! **/////////////////////////////** Please consider Donating however much you can to support me to keep this novel going. Every Little Donation counts. Other Works: Detective Conan: Harem begins with Kisaki Eri One Piece: Conquest of Love and Power ----------------------------- patreon.com/SnakeEmpress paypal.me/SnakeEmpress buymeacoffee.com/snakeempress [Consider becoming a P@treon and enjoy a minimum of 100+ chapters ahead.] **/////////////////////////////**

End-time divine doctor An Ning never expected that at the moment of her death, she would enter a cliché ancient romance novel. Even less did she expect that after entering it, she would be assassinated every day by the crazy male lead! ... Prince: Is the princess dead? Servant: Reporting to the prince, after the princess fell into the water, she unexpectedly saved the little prince, and now the emperor is about to reward her! Prince: ... ... Prince: Is the princess dead? Servant: Reporting to the prince, at the palace banquet, the princess blocked a sword for the empress, and the empress bestowed upon her a death-free gold token. Prince: ... ... Prince: Is the princess dead? Servant: Reporting to the prince, the princess jumped off the city wall in place of Miss Bai, leaving no whole body, and her bones were burned and scattered. On that day, Xiao Jingxing saved his white moonlight but slaughtered a city for An Ning! ... Many years later, a peerless divine doctor appeared in the martial world, exceptionally beautiful and astonishing the world! ... The male lead initially has a white moonlight, and genuinely attempts to kill the female lead. The female lead has a special constitution that allows wounds to self-heal, so she cannot be killed. After the female lead leaves the male lead, she lets herself free, leading to the male lead's courtship inferno! The novel focuses on satisfying plot twists, but does not rule out emotional pain, readers with a fragile heart, beware. The ending is happy, with a promise of no unfinished plots.

Every player had the same starting resources. Everyone could choose to explore 10 rooms every day. One room could be dangerous while the other might contain resources. Players must do everything they could to survive. After he finished reading the instruction, Li Zheng heard a voice next to him. “Selecting a random daily reward…” “Congratulations. You have obtained a silver chest that contains a silver-grade blueprint for the Ordinary Detector, and a few other resources.” “Congratulations. You have obtained a bronze chest that contains a bronze-grade blueprint for the Air Purifier, and a few other resources.” “Congratulations. You have obtained a platinum chest that contains platinum-grade blueprints for the Ionized Knife, Intermediate-grade Genetic Cultivation Liquid, and TJP Shield, and many other resources.” “Congratulations. You have obtained a hyper legendary chest that contains…” Li Zheng looked at the colorful chests in front of him and grinned.

Five years later, she caught the eye of a man known as the "Iron Blood Demon King", who cunningly lured her into marriage. After escaping numerous times only to be caught again, she exclaimed angrily, "I've had a child." Mr. Bo gave a wicked smile, "Don't you know that I am the father of the child?" What? That man was him? After meeting this woman, Mr. Bo's only principle in life became: Spoil her, spoil her, spoil her to the heavens!

Su Wanwan’s scumbag fiancé cheated on her! The third party actually turned out to be her scumbag half-sister who shared the same father with her! In order to take revenge on her biased father and her white lotus stepmother and scum sister, she agreed to the marriage proposal from the mysterious boss in a fit of anger. Rumor has it that Huo Jingshen was a rich heir and he was the eldest grandson of the Huo family in Nanchang. He was extremely handsome and dashing, mature and also elegant. He was the perfect bachelor in many women’s eyes. However, he was actually ten years older than her? Su Wanwan secretly despised him: He was too old! There was a gap in their aesthetics! He was a boring and uninteresting old man! She regretted it and she was thinking if she could get a divorce? Who would have known that after their marriage… “Husband, hurry up!”