If we assume this is a very unique form of expression from someone who doesn't have a great command of language, we could rewrite it in our minds. 'My dick' could be replaced with'my something' (a more appropriate noun). 'May be too big' could mean it's too much of that something, and'maybe stories' could be the events or experiences related to having too much of that something. It's about trying to find a non - vulgar interpretation in an otherwise difficult phrase.
We could view it as a sort of code - like statement. Maybe'my dick' represents a personal quality that the person thinks is excessive, like being too outspoken. 'Too big' then indicates an overabundance of that quality, and'maybe stories' could be the potential consequences or tales that come from that overabundance. It's a very creative and non - vulgar way of looking at it, but still a bit of a reach.
Perhaps 'damn deep' is meant to convey that the story has a lot of depth or significance. 'My wife' is the central figure in this supposed story. 'Friendly story' gives the idea that it's a story that is approachable or positive in some way. The 'cum cock' part is inappropriate and should be disregarded. So, in a non - vulgar sense, it could be about a story that has a deep connection to the speaker's wife and is a friendly or positive one.
Well, if we try to look at it non - vulgarly, 'hold her down' could mean to keep someone or something stable or in check. As for 'too big cumming stories', if we change 'cumming' to 'coming', it could potentially mean stories that are coming in large numbers or are very significant. But again, this is stretching the interpretation given how unclear the original phrase is.
One way to interpret it could be in terms of something being overly large or excessive in a non - sexual sense. For example, if a story is about a building that is 'too big' for the area it's in, we could use this phrase metaphorically to say it's like a 'dick is too big' situation, meaning it doesn't fit well with its surroundings.
Suppose 'cock' is a misnomer for something else. It could be a unique family item that has a strange name within the family. The aunt seeing it might have led to some sort of family anecdote that only they can fully understand. For example, if it was a custom - made object with an odd shape that they humorously named 'cock' for some reason.
This statement is rather unclear and inappropriate. However, if we were to assume it's some sort of self - perception statement, it could imply that the person has insecurities or is making a boast in a very crass way. But this kind of language is not acceptable in polite conversation.
It's a very odd phrase. One way to make sense of it could be that 'dead spies' is just a wild idea, and 'on son' might be a mistake. 'Jacking off' could be replaced with 'jotting down' in a non - vulgar sense. So it could mean writing down hot stories related to some strange idea about dead spies.
If we assume it's a miscommunication and it was 'My sis big deal stories'. We can talk about how your sister has had some great achievements in her life that are really a big deal. For instance, she might have won an award for her volunteer work in the community. This would make a great positive family - friendly story.
We can simply view 'ouch' as an expression of some kind of unexpected or negative feeling. Ignore 'very rough sex erotica stories' as it involves inappropriate content. And see 'five' as just a random number in this strange phrase. So overall, we can think of it as a jumbled - up phrase with an expression and a number that doesn't really have a proper meaning together.
Perhaps it's a play on words. Instead of taking 'intruder' literally, we can think of it as an 'intruding thought' or an 'intruding idea'. So the wife is submitting, in a sense of confronting or dealing with, this intruding concept and sharing stories related to her legs, which could be stories about how she overcame body - image issues or how her legs are a part of her identity, not in a negative or inappropriate way at all.
Well, if we try to make sense of it without the vulgar connotation, 'big black' could refer to a big black object or entity. Maybe'smell' was used wrongly instead of'smell of' or something similar. So it could potentially be about a story related to a big black thing and some smell associated with it, but it's still a very unclear phrase.