There's a joke about a cat. A cat died and went to Heaven. God met the cat at the gate and said, 'You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.' The cat thought for a minute and then said, 'All my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on.' God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in a tragic accident and they all went to Heaven. God met the mice at the gate with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, 'All our lives we have had to run. Cats, dogs and even women with brooms have chased us. If we could only have a pair of roller skates, we would not have to run anymore.' God said, 'Say no more.' Instantly, each mouse had a beautiful pair of roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found the cat sound asleep on his new pillow. God gently woke him and asked, 'How are you doing? Are you happy here?' The cat yawned and stretched and said, 'Oh, I've never been happier in my life. And those Meals on Wheels you've been sending over are the best!' Another animal - related joke is that a duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some ChapStick. The cashier says, 'Will you be paying cash or credit?' The duck says, 'Just put it on my bill.'
A joke about a dog. A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: 'Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.' The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, 'There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price.' The dog replied, 'But that would make no sense at all!' This is a simple yet funny joke. Also, a horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, 'Why the long face?' It's a classic animal - related joke that always gets a laugh.
There was a little mouse who was always boasting about how brave he was. One day, he saw a cat and said, 'I'm not afraid of you!' and he started making loud noises. The cat just looked at him and said, 'You're not even on my menu today, little mouse.' And the mouse was left feeling a bit silly. This short story is humorous as it shows the mouse's overconfidence and the cat's nonchalant response.
Here's a joke story. A snail got mugged by two turtles. When the police asked him what happened, he said, 'I don't know. It all happened so fast.' And there's also this one. A man goes to the doctor and says, 'Doctor, I keep seeing into the future.' The doctor says, 'When did this start?' The man replies, 'Next Tuesday.'
There was a dad who told his kids, 'Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!' This joke can be part of a story where the dad is trying to teach his kids about different animals and their behaviors in a really humorous way. He could be at the zoo, pointing at the frogs and telling this joke to make the kids laugh and also remember something about frogs.
Typically, they are about blondes making simple mistakes. For example, a blonde might be confused about basic technology. One story could be a blonde trying to use a TV remote. She keeps pressing all the buttons but nothing seems to work. Then she calls the cable company and says the TV won't turn on, only to realize she didn't plug it in.
Well, here is a different one. I'm reading a book about anti - gravity. It's impossible to put down. The humor comes from the double meaning of 'put down' which can mean both to stop reading a book and to place something down physically.
There was a dog that loved to chase his tail. One day, he finally caught it and didn't know what to do next. He just sat there looking at his tail as if it was some strange new toy.
Well, there are camels in Niger. One time, a camel was so thirsty that it thought a mirage was a real waterhole. It started running towards it at full speed. But when it reached the spot, there was no water. It just stood there looking so confused, which was really funny.
A cat once chased its own tail for hours, thinking it was some strange new creature. It was so determined and kept running in circles, which was really hilarious.
Well, there's a story about a parrot. A family bought a parrot that knew only bad words. Every time someone passed by, it would swear. They tried everything to make it stop. Finally, they put it in the freezer for a few minutes. When they took it out, the parrot was shivering and said, 'I'm sorry for my bad words. I'll be good now.' And it never swore again.
There was this squirrel in my backyard that kept trying to steal the bird food. It would make these elaborate plans, like climbing up the pole from different angles. One time it slipped and fell right into a small puddle. It was really funny.