How should he view his wife's relationship with her ex-boyfriend? How to deal with it?

In 2006, I fell in love with my current wife. In my eyes, she is a pure girl. But after dating for a while, she told me that she was no longer a virgin. She had already given her first time to her first boyfriend. His first boyfriend was his high school classmate. Her first boyfriend broke up with her because she was too fickle and irresponsible. She chose me and said I felt safe. After we got married, she showed filial piety to my parents and was very good to me, especially to my parents. I think her character and morals are very good. He did not pursue the issue of her first night.
But one day, she said that she would have a gathering tonight. She arrived home at around 7:30. I asked her what she was doing. She said that her ex-boyfriend was going abroad, and she and her high school classmate went to send him off! From then on, this matter became a knot in my heart. I strictly refused her from contacting her ex-boyfriend again. He often used these things to fight with her. She said that she was just sending her ex-boyfriend off and did not do anything inappropriate. She said that she was contacting her ex-boyfriend because he was one of her high school classmates. It was inevitable for her to meet her ex-boyfriend when she was gathering with other classmates. She said that I didn't trust her and that I was An Jiahe. He was too suspicious.
What I want to ask is:
1. How could she go to this person's party again? What kind of mentality was that? Was it a sign of lack of self-esteem?
2. After this incident, I always felt that they would have that kind of relationship again through gatherings. Is this my suspicion or what? How should I solve this problem?
I've been troubled by this question all day. It couldn't be resolved. Kneeling for an answer. Thank you!

Answer 1

He should adopt a calm and rational attitude in the face of his wife's relationship with her ex-boyfriend. He should not overreact easily.

1. Respect the relationship between the wife and her ex-boyfriend. No matter what the reason is, your wife should be respected for keeping in touch with her ex-boyfriend. If this behavior makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, you can honestly communicate your feelings with her but avoid criticizing or attacking her behavior.

2. Reasonably analyze the situation. To understand the reason for the relationship between the wife and her ex-boyfriend, whether it involved emotional or marital problems. If this behavior doesn't affect your marriage, you can calmly accept it and try not to interfere too much. But if this behavior has already affected your marriage, you need to seriously consider how to deal with this problem.

3. Seek help from a third party. If you can't solve the problem through dialogue, you can consider seeking the help of a third party such as a marriage counselor or psychiatrist. They can provide objective advice and help you better deal with this problem.

Dealing with the relationship between a wife and her ex-boyfriend required respect, rationality, and calmness. No matter how you deal with this problem, you need to maintain mutual respect and understanding to protect your marriage together.