Things I like: -Natasha is a very friendly and social person, and I like her as the main character. I like how her friends have different personalities and quirks and the special things about certain characters like how Olivia doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday. -I really enjoy the length of the chapters. It’s refreshing that it’s quite short and so I’m able to focus on the chapters one at a time. -I like how there are different details on the Indian clothing! I grew up in India so it’s cool to read about the characters wearing different Indian clothing, but be careful since not everyone knows what ”kurta” is etc. so you might need an index. Things that can be improved: -for the plot I think things can be more exciting if you have something driving and motivating the characters. Right now the chapters move forward because the speaker describes everything that happens to them and around them. It’s good in that it feels like the reader is living with the character and seeing glimpses into their daily life. But I don’t know if that is enough to keep reader interest for all the story, even if this is supposed to be a slice of life/teen story. A suggestion is you can try to focus on one event that pushes Natasha and her friends to want something, and how conflict comes in the way will make the story more interesting. The plan for Olivia’s birthday was great but maybe adding some more serious stakes would be cool too. -Speech/dialogue should start new paragraphs otherwise the sentences look too blocked together, and it’s less clear grammatically. Overall a promising story and I think it has potential to be developed into a great teen coming-of-age story! Keep it up!
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Thank you for the review. I'll consider all your suggestions.
