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The Fantastic Five.

Author: Prajnya Shriyan
Teen
Ongoing · 50.4K Views
  • 23 Chs
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  • 4.7
    73 ratings
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Synopsis

The Fantastic Five is a group of five young teenage girls. Have a sneak peak at their journey from teenage to adulthood. Let's find out if The Fantastic Five will stick together forever or not.

Chapter 1Chapter-1

It was 6:00am in the morning. My morning alarm began to ring and I woke up from half sleep. I went to the balcony to get some fresh air. It was the first day of my school after a long summer vacation and I was promoted to 10th grade. I was excited of course, after all I was going to see my friends after so long, but even tired as I'll have to wake up early in the morning after so long everyday now.

After 5 minutes, I heard my mom calling out for me in the kitchen, " Natasha! You up? Get ready quickly and come down for breakfast." " yes mom. Coming." I got ready in half an hour and went downstairs in the living room for breakfast. The noodles for breakfast was ready and smelled heavenly. ( Heavenly is my favourite word.) My mom was packing sandwiches for my lunchbox.

" So, all set for the first day?" My mom asked with a smile. "Yup!" I replied back. "Should I drop you to school?" My father asked while coming downstairs. " No, I am leaving in 10.. anyways." I said with a smile.

So, they are my parents. Raman and Namrata Sharma. We are living here in Sydney for like 10 years now. I was somewhat 4 years old when we shifted here from India. My parents are both engineers and works in a multinational company. They are very friendly that way but when it comes to career talks then they'll have lots to say. I was told from the very beginning that that I should do something related to science field and nothing other than that.

According to them, only engineers and doctors and any science related field, only they make the most money. My brother Aryan is studying Software engineering in a renowned university in New York. He is 19 years old. I sometimes wonder that am I even their biological child, as I am so different from them and so not interested in Science and Maths. I was an average student in academics, but

very good in other extra-curricular activities. The best recognition I got from my school was for my writing skills. I had won many competitions and even used to write articles for the school magazine.

I finished my breakfast and put my lunchbox in the bag. "Bye" I said and hugged my mom and Dad and left. My school was in 8-10 mins walking distance. After 2 minutes, I heard a voice from back. "Why didn't you call me before you left you idiot?"

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hidingpanduhLv12

Things I like: -Natasha is a very friendly and social person, and I like her as the main character. I like how her friends have different personalities and quirks and the special things about certain characters like how Olivia doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday. -I really enjoy the length of the chapters. It’s refreshing that it’s quite short and so I’m able to focus on the chapters one at a time. -I like how there are different details on the Indian clothing! I grew up in India so it’s cool to read about the characters wearing different Indian clothing, but be careful since not everyone knows what ”kurta” is etc. so you might need an index. Things that can be improved: -for the plot I think things can be more exciting if you have something driving and motivating the characters. Right now the chapters move forward because the speaker describes everything that happens to them and around them. It’s good in that it feels like the reader is living with the character and seeing glimpses into their daily life. But I don’t know if that is enough to keep reader interest for all the story, even if this is supposed to be a slice of life/teen story. A suggestion is you can try to focus on one event that pushes Natasha and her friends to want something, and how conflict comes in the way will make the story more interesting. The plan for Olivia’s birthday was great but maybe adding some more serious stakes would be cool too. -Speech/dialogue should start new paragraphs otherwise the sentences look too blocked together, and it’s less clear grammatically. Overall a promising story and I think it has potential to be developed into a great teen coming-of-age story! Keep it up!

Shadow_MagusLv4

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