Review Detail of iam_adh in Shatteredsoul Series

I honestly think the story is going too fast, instead of just saying Will was a farmer you could have showed us as readers that he was a farmer doing a day's work when suddenly he was introduced to this new system. This story has potential, I can see it being up there with My Vampire System and Supreme Magus but it needs work. I hope you take my advice to heart. Keep writing!