Item: Invincible's: SUPERMAN
Rating: 2

LastGodLv45mth

2024-06-13 16:14

This is a really good premise. The way you wrote it is almost like a script but even less. It's just a bunch of dialogue. Because it is just a bunch of dialogue it moves at lightning speed. Sadly there are also some mistakes. And because it's just a bunch of dialogue the mistakes really hurt the story. Grammar mistakes in a novel really don't affect it unless you're unintelligible. Here. However because it's basically just dialogue it really hurts the story when u make even a tiny mistake.

Invincible's: SUPERMAN

Thomas_Hodge

Not enough ratings

46 Chs

Liked by 1 people

No replies. Be the first!

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WM_DizyLv15

The grammer is unreadable and the dialogue feels unnatural. SkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkipSkupSkupllllllll lijkt of you hij of hoog got got got go go ok go go go oh hi

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skulputulurubugLv14

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Megamind2Lv11

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DarkDemon_KINGLv14

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I look forward to hearing feed back on the story guys I've got a long one for ya, also stay on the look out for future stories including series from bleach, one piece, naruto, x-men evolution, the batman comics and more.

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