webnovel
Kenrio
KenrioLv113yr
2021-09-20 04:17

you can clearly see the effort of the author in this novel not only in the grammar but the details and the choice of mc "cheats". author dont simple chose and write without think in the future troubles that choice will have on the world. we can't forget while the first 10-11 chapters are info dump mc tried to write in a way that people that dont like can tolerate it(as a info dump lover I don't know if I'm being biased). This novel entered in top 10 of all Pokemon fanfic together with :1- Sacrifice and Subjugation by MetalDargon ,2- The Natural by lightningwarrior215, 3- Ascension by The BlackStaff and NightMarE, 4- Traveler by The Straight Elf, 5- Born Of Caution by Fuggmann, 6- Cobalt to Coal to Diamond by KyKyuKai, 7- Welcome to the (insane) world of Pokemon by CaptainMoonshine, 8- Pokemon Jordinio Version! by 0 Jordinio 0, 9- Chalenger by darkfire1220 and finally 10- Conquer by Twubs that now this fic take the place. with this you can see how much I love this

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Other Reviews
Notfriendsftw
NotfriendsftwLv4

overall thoughts: It's incredibly mid (mediocre) (in debth review) -(criticism) as of 550, his writing seems to be allergic to providing details and gives too much information at the same time. he is lazy in his use of adding other fictional characters and every character has no complexity. the mentor characters are benevolent powerful characters that are entirely selfless and talk the same way as each other. selflessness is a common theme among characters. the author babies you in general throughout the book. everyone of his characters falls into either 1. it's the cut and paste mc but with a different appearance. or 2. they are a shallow ghost of a character. often the author will repeat the same things over and over. the pokemon training times are inconsistent. the parents trained new pokemon faster than the years when they were on their journey, their improvement got close to, if not, rivaled mc's pokemon training time with his space. the dialog is rather terrible, people talk too much in one go and the responses are generalized. the dialog doesn't flow and the characters are unnatural when speaking. some of the dialog really made me cringe with how unnatural the actions taken were the author doesn't understand and underestimates intelligence and so the main character is of above average intelligence in the clothes of borderline genius. the system gives out too much unnecessary information. the mc has no had any conflicts that trully gave him pause (compliments) author did a great job in not being terrible, many novels made by amateur novelists are cringe and hard to read, not the case here. I didn't have to think overly hard while reading. a lot of the decisions the main character makes actually make sense. the author seems to know what he wants out of his story. the best part of all is the fact the author hasn't lost motivation to write which is admirable. (improvements) add comparisons, they will help give a visualization to the reader. streamline the system info, to much info becomes monotonous to read. don't list measurements, use comparisons, let us use our imagination read up on intelligence, the way you sell your character is smarter than you have shown us. show don't tell, people don't like to be babied so you provide clues on instead of outright giving away everything. the dialog needs to flow and become more natural. ease up with pleasantries and spelling when writing informal speech, not everyone pronounces full words. people will play with words that go beyond what is proper. people are complex. motivations differ, surprise shows differently on people, people go through combinations of emotions. you need to separate your characters personality . their personality are too close to each other. give your mc something/ someone to struggle with, a roadblock of some kind. there is nothing to push the story in an interesting direction. keep consistency with the timings.

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4.2
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