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Author Pls Create One Piece Fanfic with Telekinesis Devil Fruit[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]

This is really mediocre, just waist time . Thankfully the format for dialogue is good and the punctuation is almost always there But other than that, it's the typical bull

Very intersting idea, but a horrendous execution of said idea. The MC‘s character is very inconsistent and unstable. One moment he says that he would feel no guilt over crushing the hope of a child, the next moment his hero-syndrom goes full on and he says this world needs heros and he will make it so by creating a villain persona??!! ANYTHING besides the telekinetic powers(which are executed poorly in my oppinon) in tjis story is basically unbearable to read… First of all and probably most improtant: Why dies he even care about heros and villain, what is it to him that he wants to change the entire society? Really just why? His hero-compley is basically god-level for this alone… Secondly, why us his character so unstable? Just decide already on his disposition and don‘t change just to keep the canon intact. Another problem is the MC‘s unreasonable power-ups. It is an established fact that quirks grow with use and can even evolve, BUT this is a slow and gradual process that takes a lot of time. Also basic laws of energie conservation tells us that you can‘t ‚just‘ teleport or warp space without a MASSIVE AMOUNT of energy. His progress with his quirk disregards these two points totally, which disappointed me greatly.

Reveal spoiler

The MC is a control freak and a phsychopath, until at least ch. 30 couldn´t bring myself to read further, since personality went from bad to worse, even if his goals seem noble. I got a strong dislike for MCs that view people like vermine and try to be noble about it. I think it is a good story but I dispise the MC so utterly, that I have to stop reading the story, BUT that is just me being me.

The story development seems too forced and quick. The grammar is a bit off, and the writing itself is really bland. Adding to the emotionless story, the MC seems very cliché, white hair and red eyes.

It's a great novel for someone who is writing for the first time, the MC is over powered, cold and manipulative. As author-san says in aux chapters that he plans to give the MC a challenge and have a storyline planned, I am looking forward to that

Read if you want there are some inconsistency, overall though a decent read to pass time. Author is a newbie so it's as expected, hope you keep writing to improve. Good luck.