All right, new novel over here. We got some good writing and an potentially interesting storyline going on. Of course at the moment we are on the road getting to the more interesting and maybe epic bits of the story. It's safe to say that this story is currently building up the upcoming events, which hopefully will arrive in future chapters. If there's any criticism I have for this story, author, is that there are many paragraphs that are massive. By that I mean the paragraphs are too big. I was commented the similar thing by some of my readers, and I had to put more spaces on my novel's paragraphs. I suggest you do the same thing because your readers read your novel on mobile. In addition, some parts of the novel are better off shown than told. For example, the behavior and personality of some characters. Keep in mind, telling is fine so it gets out to the reader quicker, but say for instance your character is angry, don't just say "he was angry", try "he slammed his hand onto the table." to show that the character is angry, to the point where the reader can really imagine the scenario. All in all however, I recommend readers to give this a shot.
被1人贊過
贊
Thank you very much for your honest feedback. I'll do my best to improve on it. [img=recommend]
