I love how you portray your characters here author. You describe them well and gave life to their personalities. Especially your main character, I can see the story world from his perspective. And that's a plus. But if I may add, I would like to suggest that you'll be careful with your choice of words. I don't mean it as a bad thing though, it's just that the thoughts are enumerated differently in each sentence. Giving description each may mislead your readers from understanding the main point of your story. But overall, you did a splendid job portraying them. I find that totally likeable. And would absolutely suggest this story to all readers. Great job there author. Keep up the good work!
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LIKEI'll take your advice and be careful of it in the future. I guess I'm just afraid the readers won't get what I wanted tk portray that's why I tend to over-explain things sometimes. I'd do my best to beat that bad habit though. Thank you bery much for your feedback. I appreciate it.