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Was waiting for more chapters to come out before realizing you had started it already. Now I'm all caught up and sad cuz I don't have anymore to read. Anyways great story and I'm looking forward to the college era. 1 thing I would like is I need more chapters!!!
Just an FYI, Glocks don't have safety switches or levers. It would be best to just say pistol or use something generic like "Beretta" since they have different models with or without safeties.
Started good in the first 20 chapters, but then dropped steeply. I understand the MC is going thru imposter syndrome but do I really need to read it every single chapter and with repeatedly using the same words to describe it? He's literally in a fictional world in a character that doesn't exist and the person he became was pretty much miserable until the last seasons due to either health issues, financial issues or social issues. I don't get why he's having so many issues with what he's done. Gonna stick around for maybe another 10-15 chapters and if he's still having such guilt without any progress on fixing it or overcoming it I'm out.
Hey Author, It's me again, just wanted to point out that Pan Am drives a Thorton Colby C210 Camper when you first meet in game because her ride was stolen. The Rayfield Caliburn is basically a really expensive sports supercar and Pan Am is a Nomad so it doesn't really make sense. Love the new chapters and sorry if I sound like I'm nitpicking, I'm just trying to help out but if I am being annoying just let me know and ill stop.
No worries, love the story so far and little mistakes like that happen. The new name makes way more sense now, thanks for editing it. I imagining it look like the image below, but it would be awesome should anything new you put in you could put your idea of what it looks like as a reference in the "paragraph comments" so it would give the reader a better image when reading.
Rayfield Aerondight Guinevere is a car not a bike.
Nevermind, saw it was corrected later.
Was it supposed to be Compound V like from The Boys?
I ain't gonna lie, I skimmed over the summary too and thought he meant like a living breathing gold dragon. Then read it again after your comment and realized it meant the gold dragon coin. lol. For the intelligence part let me quote the Iron Man movie.
And to clarify I don't think the R18 parts are bad in this story, I just don't really enjoy reading them in any fictions at.