Keiko Finds Herself in Charge and the Sound Bothers Haruto

"It's like they think they're protagonists." Keiko spat after checking her copy of the three seal based logbooks given to the teams sent to Konoha's Chunin Exams. 

"What's up, why are they late?" her teammate, sensor, and genuine creep Kisuke inquired. 

Around her gathered the Kirigakure genin teams, those without Haori members who could act outside of the plan, who made it to the stretch of river by the central tower within the agreed upon two hour time limit, a generous amount of time for the teams to navigate the dangerous forest stealthily. All the teams arrived save two.

"Jin's team found the hard sell recruit, and are on their way, but they're going slow to keep her safe." Keiko announced. 

The thought of the Uzumaki girl picked at Keiko's unhealed wounds. The girl apparently manifested two bloodline abilities from her defunct clan, and was suspected capable of manifesting a third. Some girl from bumfuck nowhere has three potent kekkei genkai, but her, the girl from the heart of the Terumi Clan known and feared for their hyper lethal kekkei genkai, gets nothing. This Uzumaki girl will get sent straight to the top of their society, while Keiko lives a life as a second class citizen in her own family. Even if her fate lands her in a breeding program to reestablish her clan, the bitch will probably get bred by Lord Fifth to tie the future Uzumakis to the village's elite class. Some bitches get all the luck, others are forced to work themselves to the bone just to keep the wolves away. 

Internalizing that hate for later motivation, Keiko continued, "And Haruto apparently found Orochimaru preying on genin and his team needs to rest to recover from fighting him." 

It took them a while to respond to that, but finally someone spoke up, "Is there another Orochimaru that I missed in the lessons?" 

"No." Keiko shook her head. 

"Oh… shit." the genin slumped, "Is he still, ya know? Running around?" 

"If he is, we won't know unless he wants us too." Keiko grimaced, "Since there's nothing we can do about it, lets just go about our business. Everybody form up, let's get the mist going." 

The teams took up position on the riverbank and together executed the ox, snake, then ram hand signs. With all the existing water they could ever need flowing right in front of them and the number of skilled users, they quickly spread a clinging mist across the entire training ground and even beyond. Suddenly, the Forest of Death became far more dangerous and difficult to navigate, but for the Kirigakure genin the exam just became easier. Historically, the second exam in Konoha starts seeing the applicants with sensor type shinobi finishing after the two hour mark, but with decreased visibility, these teams will be hampered in their attempt to reach the tower, and with Kisuke and four other sensors in their group, the Kirigakure genin will be able to catch everyone slowly making it to the finish line, bringing them all the scrolls they need. 

Of course, teams will also be sent out into the mist to hunt. But they will go out in packs of three teams with a sensor leading them right to the prey. Twenty six non-kiri teams made it to this round, and Kiri intended no non-Kiri teams to make it to the next. At least… no more teams. A single team from Sunagakure managed to find another team with the scroll they needed, take it, and make it to the tower in ninety minutes, which the Kiri teams that arrived by then allowed through uncontested. Historically sub two hour Forest of Death runs are made by freaks, and half of winning is not fighting losing battles.

Everyone from now on is open season. Keiko checked in with the assigned teams and after replacing a few injured members with equivalent shinobi from the stay teams, Keiko sent out the two hunter teams into the misty forest to run tandem patrols, hunting for the other applicants as well as the local flora and fauna. The Forest of Death is one of the world's extreme chakra mutation regions, known for producing megafauna and a wide range of efficacious plant life. If Konoha wants to open up this horrific wonderland for harvesting, who is Kirigakure to say no?

The injuries mostly consisted of twisted ankles, and they'd been taught basic field treatment and the beginnings of medical ninjutsu by Lord Fifth, a man who made even the dumbest students feel like geniuses. For people with actual talent like Keiko, he practically put wings on tigers. He also was the first person to ever recognize Keiko's achievements made through years of hard work and perseverance. The black belt around her hips felt like a gentle hug from the man's steely arms, a constant source of reassurance and strength for the previously unrecognized kunoichi. 

One day she would make him feel as loved and appreciated as he made her feel, and Keiko didn't care how many bitches she had to destroy or crawl over to get there, and if anyone tries to stand in her way… there will be blood. 

"Alright you lazy bums." Keiko addressed the stay teams after the away teams departed, "Lets get that bushcraft going!" 

With Kisuke focused in on his chakra sensing and with Keiko on standby incase of inbound applicants, the rest set about turning this stretch of riverbank into both a comfortable living space, and a prison. Though few of the genins possessed an expertise with chakra flow the way the black belts did, outside of combat they could take the time to focus on the technique, allowing them to cleave and split the dense wood of the local trees, massive specimens created decades ago by Hashirama Senju. With great quickness, they carved out green planks and posts - referring to the unseasoned state, not the color - and assembled temporary elevated shelters and wooden cages. 

The cages themselves were not constructed with the thought of actually containing shinobi, though they were good for that purpose among normal genin who lack powerful offensive techniques, instead they were an agreement and soon enough the first of the guests of Hotel Kiri arrived, escorted by one of the hunter teams who tossed a pair of scrolls to Keiko. 

"Look at you little over achievers." Keiko complimented the battered and bleeding Konoha Team. 

"Be careful with the tall one." the genin leading the team informed the others, "He's an Aburame. We had to blast him pretty hard to get him to stop it with the bugs." 

Keiko held the soaked and bruised bug boy by the chin, looking him right in the fractured sunglasses someone kindly returned to him after his ass whooping, "We are going to provide your team medical assistance, and then put you in the cages we've built. We'll keep you safe and fed for the remainder of the test, but if you go against us any further, our method of eliminating all of you from this exam will become far more permanent." 

"I understand." the Aburame nodded calmly. 

"Good. You're all under parole." Keiko smiled and let the others deal with these three and their pet dog. 

The chunin exams were intended as a low stakes proxy for international warfare, a chance to show off the might of the villages and temper the hot blooded hearts of the younger generation of shinobi, to give them a taste of battle as a means to teach them not to seek out war. It failed spectacularly, and no one seemed to treat the exams as intended, but Lord Fifth intended to revive the practice, really get the exams back to a method of seasoning genin into proper chunin, the rank of shinobi meant to operate reliably within the wider system of the village. Lord Fifths plan to utilize actual cooperation and tactics among his applicant teams is the true path of the chunin. Chunin aren't world beaters, they aren't forces of nature, they aren't even strategic assets. They are team members, low stakes team leaders, they are gate guards and medics. The chunin is the working man's shinobi, each contributing in a small way to the greater good of the village. 

The hunter teams brought in three more groups and the stay team caught another, letting them know that the strat of camping the tower to ambush in coming teams is under new ownership, before Jin's team appeared in the deep hours of the night, forcing Keiko to miss out on her beauty sleep to greet them. 

With bags under her eyes and feeling gross from the many hours in the forest, Keiko never felt more ill prepared to receive a rival. In the light of their camp fires, her face twitched when she saw the girl with hair redder than hers, exotic eyes behind her nerdy glasses, and her trampy outfit despite her lacking body, as if to tempt Lord Fifth from afar to inferior goods. Keiko could already see it in her mind, this flat little thing swelling up with Lord Fifth's children, living a happy life of concubinal bliss while she spends her days in the rank and file as her face slowly wrinkles and her womb dries up, forever alone in this dark world, all because of this fortune blessed bimbo…

"I can hear your demented thoughts rattling around in that head of yours." Jin interrupted her meltdown, his cheek pressed against hers as he lined up their ears, his large body draped over her, "What horrible things are you thinking of right now?" 

"Ah!" Keiko screamed and jumped away from the grey skinned shark man. 

The quick and easy peace be damned, his round dead shark eyes still fill her with unease. Had the rebellion continued, Jin was to be killed as a rising star among Yagura's forces. What he lacked in skill at the time, he made up for in raw strength and toughness, the boy as much a monster as his infamous uncle. Keiko had seen it herself, Jin smashing aside justu with his fists and feet, cleaving people with single swings of his grandfather's longsword. Smart people didn't like the trajectory of his growth as a shinobi when stuck on the other side of him. 

Still, Keiko believed she could take him in seven fights out of ten. 

"You were so preoccupied in whatever messed up delusion you've cooked up this time that you missed the good news." Jin grinned and pointed to a pile of six exam scrolls, "Our little VIP is every ounce the heavyweight sensor Lord Fifth believed her to be, she led us to all the teams on our way here. Congratulations everyone, we've cleared this second stage." 

No one cheered, as progressing to the finals didn't actually matter for their promotions. Lord Fifth trained them to be well rounded genin, so long as they didn't choke or die, they would be promoted. These exams, and the logs and collection scrolls they filled, all counted towards their future prospects, better performance, better perks as chunin. These exams aren't meant for evaluation in the first place, that's just something the other villages tell their genin because they lack the grit to participate in a potentially lethal sporting event without some kind of personal stakes, the glory of their village not enough to motivate their best performance. 

Swallowing her loathing, Keiko approached the red haired girl and put her hand out. The other girl didn't immediately shake the hand, and Keiko didn't let her response to the rudeness show on her face. Proper socialization isn't to be expected from bumkins. 

"Welcome to Kiri." Keiko fake smiled when the girl finally understood how to interact properly with the gesture.

"I'm happy to be here." the girl responded with forced enthusiasm over mild exhaustion, not an uncommon reaction to those forced to spend time with Jin. 

"I'd like to see just how powerful a sensor you are." Keiko took the girl to a lean-to shelter built with an elevated deck out of the local materials where she unsealed a fresh map of the area with a compass and pen, commanding the girl to mark down the location of all the teams she sensed. After quickly circling their own location, Karin filled out the map with the location of all the other teams in the zone and included relative chakra levels. 

Keiko grit her teeth as she compared it to the map developed by Kisuke where he triangulated approximate locations based on directional feelings. Karin blew him out of the water by finding the precise locations of all the teams felt out by Kisuke, and also finding all the teams beyond his limit going all the way out to the fence line. 

"We'll check again in the morning." Keiko continued her fake smile while internally lamenting the arrival of such a blessed rival. 

"Okay. No problem. I can do this kind of thing all day." Karin smiled and Keiko set her up for the night. 

Returning to her shelter, Keiko found Jin waiting for her with his usual faint smile, like the guy finds the whole world amusing. 

"You've done well." Jin told her, turning those creepy dead fish eyes on her, "I didn't expect to leave you without both me and Haruto, but you didn't let anything slip." 

"Who do you think I am?" she scoffed with her hands on her hips, "This much is nothing." 

"This much is solid chunin performance, I've logged it down." Jin admitted, "It can't be easy finding yourself alone in command while I was playing around. I'm sorry for selfishly dumping all the responsibility on you like that."

"But you can't say you wouldn't do it again." Keiko sighed, causing that faint smile to twist into a smirk, what little light he's capable of igniting behind his eyes.

"It was fun!" Jin nodded, "I got to beat up all sorts of people."

"Haruto wouldn't say his situation has been very fun." she shifted topics.

"That stick in the mud survives an encounter with a freak like Orochimaru and has the balls to say it wasn't fun." Jin made an exaggerated frown, "All that thrill unappreciated. What a waste." 

"Normal people don't enjoy their lives hanging by a thread." Keiko snorted. 

"Normies are nobodies." Jin countered, "Haruto, all that potential held back by such a normie mindset. Guy needs to find his passion and assert himself. The doormat mentality doesn't suit such a magnificent combatant. Guy should be more like you." 

"Are you saying I'm not normal?" Keiko narrowed her eyes at Jin's dopey face. 

"You're a weirdo." Jin declared, "Like a cat covered in honey. Sweet but looking to claw a guy's face off." 

"Jin, you need to leave right now… before the patients taught to me by Lord Fifth is overcome by my seething hatred of everything you say and do." Keiko growled. 

"That's fair." Jin admitted as he slowly took his leave, "Later Keiko." 

"Fuck off already, Jin." she shot back. 

"I'm going, I'm going." he said as he sauntered away, "I bet Haruto's out their right now, not enjoying himself." 

-Meanwhile with Haruto-

The pale Hozuki smiled as his electric kettle reached temperature and poured himself three nice cups of highly caffeinated tea, the perfect pick me up for a man mostly made of water. He didn't even need to wait for the tea to cool after it steeped, just poured the piping hot liquid in his mouth and let his Clan's unique biology do the rest. Feeling that pleasant rush of energy charging through his system, fatigue driven away from scalp to toes. He let out a content sigh as the Sakura returned from setting up traps around their campsite.

"Are you sure that you don't want to set up defenses of your own?" she asked as she settled down to continue caring for her downed teammates, the Uchiha consumed by a terrible fever and the jinchuriki in an unresponsive coma.

"I'm quite sure the mist will make your traps good enough." Haruto blithely stated as he raised his second cup of liquid energy to his lips. 

"If you say so." the Sakura conceded with a defeated tone and heavy bags under her eyes, "How do you want to break up the watch shifts?" 

"I've no need to sleep." Haruto smiled as his teammates both rested, "But its bad form to leave guarding your teammates to a foreigner. I might simply take my team and leave while you sleep." 

"Don't you have some kind of… orders to help me?" the tired girl inquired and Haruto smirked.

"I've done enough to humor my acquaintance with Jin." Haruto chuckled, "If he has a problem with what I may or may not do from here on, he can fight me till he tuckers himself out."

"Are you really so much stronger than him." the Sakura sought out intel and Haruto felt no need to conceal it. 

Kiri came to announce its new place in the world as the strongest village.

"Jin is physically the strongest genin from Kirigakure. He's a bit of a nightmare honestly." Haruto admitted freely, "But I'm beyond physical strength." 

"How come?" the Sakura asked in obvious confusion.

'How ignorant does Konoha keep their genin?' Haruto wondered, 'This seems beyond the needed gating of information for security. The Hozuki Hydrification is one of the world's premier kekkei genkai.' 

"Your team seems unprepared for this exam." Haruto pointed out his thoughts plainly.

"Hey!" Sakura replied defensively, "That's not our fault. Our sensei hasn't taught us very much." 

"A jonin sensei is under no obligation to teach his genin anything." Haruto informed the girl as he felt a team creeping through the nearby bushes. 

"What?" the Sakura barked, "Why not?" 

"All a jonin sensei is required to do, is lead his genin during their formative time as shinobi." Jin explained after he finished his second cup, "To show them the correct conduct, procedures, and decision making, anything else is a gift to his wards. It is up the genin to seek out their own further education and plan their own training." 

"But what are you supposed to do if the sensei doesn't want to teach anything?" she asked, once again in a downtrodden tone. 

"Those with shinobi family have it the easiest." Haturo delivered the girl her much needed education, "Those without should seek out a friendly chunin or special jonin, or one that is willing to trade for education, money or other services. One shouldn't hoard their mission pay as a genin. Living expenses, equipment, training in that order. Lastly, the village should have techniques and educational material available at a genin's security clearance, but I've heard it's very bare bones." 

"So all the good information is kept to people with connections." Sakura's tone reached critical defeated levels.

"By design." Jin said as he lined up his finger gun with a squirrel packing a paper bomb on its back, "A shinobi that trains himself using scrolls and books is liable to be nuttier than Jin. Sanity requires human interaction, and it's never a good idea to give power to someone untethered by society." 

With a quick burst of water gun justu, Haruto sent that squirrel bomb back to sender. 

"Hey what are-?" an explosion interrupted Sakura's question. 

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only person the world is bothering." Haruto sighed as the trio from the new Sound Village dived into view to escape the blast. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was struck recently by a sudden questioning of the popularity behind 'The Gamer' and 'Adaptability' superpowers. I've seen people get overly hyped when both appear in a story and I don't like either. I think that their is something wrong with the modern power fantasy involving repetition of mundane activities or self inflicted masochism to gain ultimate power, and it seems tied to the general hopelessness on the rise. We all want our efforts and suffering to mean something greater, and so those powers in fiction tap into that quiet fear. I don't like it. What do you think?

You can support me and my family at 

ko-fi.com/jmanm