Don't Think I Won't Cane Your Bum

"Haaa..."

Calix finally took refuge in his own bedroom. He still couldn't forget how Edward and Aunt Wendy looked at him earlier.

Urgh...

Calix stood alone inside the walk-in wardrobe, facing the full-length mirror. He inspected his right cheek, the one he slapped in a reflex to avoid losing consciousness.

In the end, the shock of seeing his wife in a soul form overcame the stinging pain.

"Why did I slap myself so hard? Ow..."

Calix rubbed some cooling gel on his cheek. After changing into comfortable casual clothes, he dragged his exhausted body and heart to the bed. The sun was still hovering above the horizon.

Calix threw his body onto the bed. The mattress sank under his weight. Another heavy sigh expelled from his mouth. Countless thoughts kept popping into his mind.

Staring at the ceiling, Calix couldn't help but picture his grandmother's face there, complete with a smirk.

"If Grandma knows this, she'll say it's karma for deceiving her ah."

Calix rolled again until he lay on his stomach. After painstakingly chasing his grandmother's smug face away from his brain, an image of Charlene, the soul one, came. What she said to him also followed.

"Mr. Xu, I know why you chose me to be your wife."

"You wanted to stop your grandmother from forcing you to attend blind dates, en? You chose me because I am in a coma. So, I can't interfere with your life."

Those words were more than enough to make Calix feel guilty.

Trying to get away from his grandmother's constant pressure to get him to marry someone, Calix ordered Edward to find more details related to Charlene Li. His chief personal assistant thought he chose her because of her current comatose state.

But...

That was not the only reason. There was another one which only known to him.

"What kind of help does she want?" 

Speaking to himself, Calix's voice was muffled by the mattress. He noticed the traces of desperation when Charlene asked for a favor from him.

"I won't intervene with your life. But, I really hope you'll do me a favor soon. I'll stay away from you if that's your condition."

Charlene didn't show any hesitation when promising him that. She didn't seem to want to utilize her position as his legal wife, the spouse of the Xu family's heir. Her new title brought her a high reputation with endless wealth.

Intrigued by what might be in Charlene's mind, Calix silently hoped that she would come clean with him soon. Doing her a favor was one way to ease his guilt.

Sigh, this was just a small price to pay ah.

Who told him to use someone innocent as a shield against his grandmother's nagging?

"Urgh... I am so stupid," Calix silently berated himself.

Even though Charlene was currently in a coma, she might wake up soon. She told him earlier that her soul was separated from her body until her injuries healed more.

Hurm, should he get to know her better? Not in a romantic sense but, something like friends? 

This would help both of them once Charlene regained her consciousness later. Calix didn't want to feel awkward with his own wife when that time came.

But, but, would Charlene still remember her memories when she was in her soul form?

In the books and even in the movies, the people who underwent the out-of-body experience recalled nothing once they woke up.

Hurm...

How about...

Ring! Ring!

"..."

The loud ringtone shattered Calix's imagination. It came from his personal phone. Only a select few people knew this number. 

And, he could guess who was calling him now.

Groaning, Calix forced himself to sit up. He put the phone on the bedside table on the right.

The mattress could comfortably fit four people thus, the table was a considerable distance away from where he was rolling right now.

Once Calix grabbed the phone, he looked at the Caller ID. A faint smirk hung on his lips. As expected, the one who contacted him was his grandmother.

Once Calix accepted the call, he immediately said out loud, "Hello~ You've reached your newly wedded beloved grandson. Do you have any congratulatory words to say to me, Grandma?"

Old Madam Xu scoffed, expressing her clear displeasure. Calix held back from laughing. He knew full well that his grandmother was annoyed by his stunt.

"You always make my blood boil! Since you're already married, there's nothing that can be done anymore. I'm not heartless enough to make a family's beloved daughter a divorcee right after marriage."

"Hehe, that's my compassionate grandmother! The kindhearted, benevolent, pretty..."

Calix's flowery words got cut off by Old Madam Xu mercilessly.

"Shut up. Don't try to flatter me, you brat. I'll accept this marriage but, don't think I won't cane your bum."

Calix winced, recalling how his grandmother's cane became his childhood enemy. He always got punished for being the naughtiest among his siblings.

Unwilling to reenact his childhood punishment, he quickly tried to earn his grandmother's pity.

"Grandma, I'm thirty-two this year ah. Not two years old."

Old Madam Xu clicked her tongue, "Then, act like someone in his thirties."

Calix grimaced. He had no choice but to accept another form of his grandmother's nagging. She surely was mad because he got married behind her back.

"I've contacted your parents-in-law. Come back tomorrow. We'll have dinner together. Your parents and siblings will be there too."

Old Madam Xu's words shocked Calix. 

"...Grandma, when did you call them?"

"It doesn't matter ah. Our family is linked to the Li's now. We should treat them properly. Even though you've registered your marriage, we still have to plan for a wedding."

Unable to resist teasing his grandmother, Calix jokingly said, "Grandma, do you want me to stand alone on the altar? My bride is still unconscious. Won't the wedding seem like a funeral?"

If the grandmother and grandson were talking face to face, certainly Calix would be a victim of Old Madam Xu's piercing glare.

"Come. Back. Tomorrow. Night."

"Yes, ma'am."

With a huff, Old Madam Xu hung up the call. Calix laughed at himself. He hoped his grandmother didn't need to double the dose of her high blood pressure pills.

"Meeting as one big family, huh?"

Calix lay down on the mattress again. He recalled the meetings he had with Rowan Li, Charlene's father.

When Calix first proposed the idea of marrying Charlene, Rowan was a bit reluctant. The middle-aged man asked why he didn't pick Gladys, Charlene's cousin.

Between the two young ladies of the Li family, Gladys was the popular and sociable one. Calix had bumped into her a few times during banquets. She also had tried to approach him before.

"Uncle Rowan, I'm sure you don't know about this. But... I actually have been in love with Charlene since a few years ago. I only admired her from afar. When I heard she's unconscious due to an accident, I know that I should be true to my feelings."

Following more persuasive words, Rowan's defense was gradually lowered. Calix even brought up the topic of how Charlene was neglected in the Li family.

"You can't go against your own brother, Uncle Rowan. By marrying me, Charlene will be safe. You surely know how harmonious our family is, en?"

The final remark that helped Calix to secure the deal was... 

"I'll make a contract. Once Charlene wakes up and she says she doesn't want anything to do with me, I'll divorce her. But, please give me at least one year to win her heart first."

In the end, Calix got the comatose Charlene as his wife.

Only, he didn't know that her soul form would haunt him days and nights.