Chapter 20

Her eyes were focused on the pen that her therapist constantly tapped on the yellow notepad. Every so often she would scribble something down and peek her eyes over the top of her red bifocals. Julia sat on the cold, hard leather sofa near the window. Dr. Vargas figured it was a good place for it because right outside you could see a row of beautiful mountains.

"I see you rearranged your furniture."

"Yes, I wanted to change the Feng Shui. What do you think?"

Julia nodded. "I had no problem with how you had it before, but if you like it, I like it."

"If you look out the window, you'll notice the Cerro Pero and the Cerro Nu Canny in the distance. For some reason they help my clients open up more."

Julia admired the two peaks inching their heads just enough into the clouds that you couldn't see the top.

"I must admit, this is a beautiful view. I've lived here all my life and only now realize how marvelous they are."

"Yes, it is said God dropped them straight from heaven."

Julia had been seeing Dr. Vargas for some time now. At first, she was very reluctant to share but now she talked about parts of her life that she didn't share with anyone, not even Louis.

Louis never knew how her father physically abused her mother after a night of heavy drinking. Once he beat her so bad she stayed in her bedroom for a week. Julia and her sister sat outside the bedroom pleading for their mother, leaving food and water by the door. Her father raped her older sister and it was rumored that her sister's child was her father's. Julia and her sister never spoke of it. As Dr. Vargas explained, the root of her insecurities stemmed from her relationship with her father. It's natural for a young girl to look to her father for protection and guidance. If the father doesn't provide this, the daughter will seek out other men who will.

"I know we've been over this before, but just so we are clear: Everything we share here is protected by doctor-client privilege. Correct?" Julia asked.

"Correct."

"You know my husband is the most powerful man in the country. Any word of this to anybody and I could lose my head. Am I making myself perfectly clear?"

Dr. Vargas' removed her bifocals and placed them on her desk.

"Nothing we discuss leaves this office, Mrs. Silvay."

"I can't believe I'm about to share this. Hell, he probably has this room bugged."

"I can reassure you he doesn't. If you're not comfortable sharing certain things with me I -"

"I tried to kill Louis!"

Dr. Vargas remained quiet.

"Are you just going to sit there? Say something!"

Dr. Vargas grabbed the bifocals from her desk, put them back on and jotted down on her notepad: Hurt people who hurt her.

"What are you writing? There can't be any evidence of this conversation. Anybody can go through your trash and read your notes. I knew I shouldn't have said anything."

"You have no reason for concern. What I wrote down was just an observation. You have my word."

Julia leaned back into the sofa.

Dr. Vargas pointed to the window. "I told you those mountains make people talk."

They laughed.

Dr. Vargas grabbed her notepad, rose from her desk, and sat on the leather chair directly across from Julia. "Are you ready to discuss what happened?"

Julia propped her head on the headrest, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Louis has so many enemies. Hell, I was one of them and I can't say I'm an ally now. I have so much hatred built up inside of me that it grows like a cancer and I'm not sure if he even notices or cares. The only people he truly cares about are Solono and Maria, neither of whom are biologically mine. Maria is the child of one of our servants, and Solono," Julia paused and took a deep breath. She continued.

"Let's just say it wasn't his choice to be part of our family. He told me to look at them as blessings from God because I couldn't have my own children. After all the affairs and the constant disregard for my feelings, I'd finally had enough. It was on his birthday, February 7, I believe in 1938 or 39. Can't exactly remember. He was in a benevolent mood, so he had given the majority of the staff the day off and invited some of his administration and political friends to join him in celebrating. Maria and Solono were around 15 and 17. Since he had given the cooks the day off, he requested that I be in charge of preparing the dinner. I love to cook so that wasn't a problem. The problem was there were over thirty people attending and I'd never prepared a meal for so many. That wasn't his concern, he reminded me. With the help of a few cooks I paid double to stay, I prepared his favorite dishes: pira caldo, chipa guasú, and a delicious dulce de leche. Remind me to bring you a sample the next time I make it. It's absolutely marvelous.

I decorated the President's dining room with Paraguayan colors. The draperies were white, the table clothes red, and the seat covering blue. Each napkin bore the coat of arms. For entertainment I hired Eladio Martínez to sing the national anthem before dinner and happy birthday at the cutting of the cake.

Louis did a final walkthrough an hour before the event and was impressed. Despite this, he told me not to attend the dinner. Since he had given most of the staff the day off, he wanted me to assist the few that were working with serving and making sure the guest was comfortable.

Unbelievable! Right at that moment is when I decided to kill him. I went to the kitchen. All the dishes sat on trays, waiting to be served.

We had a small rodent problem so there was a can of mice poison in a nearby cabinet that I grabbed. I dumped enough mice poison in his dish to be effective and disguised it by crumbling a few crackers on top. I took a deep breath, gained my composure and grabbed his tray. As I turned towards the dining room, right behind me was Solono.

He walked over to the counter, grabbed the can of mice poison, and returned it to the cabinet. Not uttering a word, he turned and walked out. I sat the tray back on the counter and followed him, scared shitless. Solono walked past Louis and sat down next to Maria as if nothing happened.

The servers brought the entrées out. Louis was the first to be served. His tray was the only one with candles. Solono approached Louis and whispered in his ear. Louis stared at his tray while Solono returned to his seat, never making eye contact with me.

Louis stood and ordered the band to stop playing.

"Ramón!" Louis said.

Ramón, a young guard and personal confidant of one of Louis' advisers, Lino Ovelar, ran to Louis' side. There had always been tension between Louis and Mr. Ovelar. I've heard rumors that it stemmed from Mr. Ovelar's desire for me. I must admit, he was a treat for the eyes. "Please do me the honor of tasting this food and give us your opinion."

Ramón looked at Mr. Ovelar, who nodded. Everyone, even the band, looked as Ramón helped himself to three hearty servings.

"Delicious!" Ramón said as he dropped the spoon to the floor. He used the chairs as crutches back to his seat, collapsing to the ground. Mr. Ovelar stood.

"What in God's name have you done to my guard, Mr. President?" he said.

"Juan, Ricardo, escort Mr. Ovelar to the basement. Make sure he's very comfortable. I'll be down shortly to have a talk with him."

They grabbed Mr. Ovelar and forcefully escorted him out of the room.

For the life of me, I don't understand why Solono lied for me."