Submissive Masochist (R18+)

A/N: Lemme know if you find any mistakes or flaws in it.

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[Laura's POV]

Laura was having a strange day.

She was unfocused, confused, and above all, she was very embarrassed.

How could she not be? She had done such an indecent thing last night after all.

'Why did I do that?'

Walking through one of the hallways, she agonized.

She had many questions, but this one seemed to be most prominent and frequent.

She could pinpoint exactly how it had happened, but she felt as if she wasn't herself when she…

An atomic blush crept through her face for the briefest of seconds, before disappearing immediately. Her reinforced stoic façade hid any visible emotions. But last night, she…

Laura mentally grimaced, thinking about her strange actions.

She touched her neck, feeling her perfectly fine neck.

Yet, she felt a fantom chocker on it. As if…

'I'm a slave.'

As if she was a slave. Even if only in name, she was one. And more importantly, she did it to herself. She had consciously— although she was in great mental turmoil at the moment— asked for this.

And strangely enough, she still didn't regret the decision, even when she was able to think and reason much better.

As strange and deprecating as the idea was, she still found herself sticking to it.

For a brief moment, she felt some warmness in her heart. Her heart, which now felt lighter, was also calmer.

Even if her mind was a little strange, her heart was happy.

She associated the feeling with last night's events.

She had, after all, finally apologized and more than that, she received forgiveness…

'Master is kind.'

This time, a sad smile crept through her face as she thought about her Master, before immediately disappearing behind her stoic façade.

But then another blush crept on her face as she remembered something else.

It was hard to completely hide her emotions today as she could do normally, but she needed to manage somehow. She had to act imposing and strict, lest the maids— or herself— started slacking.

Walking through a different hallway now, one which had some maids on cleaning duty, she couldn't help but reminisce her last night, after the 'incident'.

***

[~Flashback~]

She walked back to her room, her head held low and her eyes teary. Her right hand covered her mouth, which felt sore and tasted funny.

Right now, she was not the calm and stoic head maid that everyone in the household knew. Right now, she was a different Laura, one that had gone through self-inflicted shame and suffering, and yet she felt strangely happy and content.

Right now, she was a disgraceful Laura. One that had taken her Young Master's—now Master's— privates inside her mouth and pleased him as much as she could to help calm his… excited state.

Reaching her private room in one of the corners of the mansion, she locked the door and went straight to the bathroom.

…

She now laid on her bed, curled up in blankets and looking at her room with an unfocused gaze.

Laura had a medium-small room that was very minimalistic and only contained things of absolute necessity. She had never fancied personal wealth or materialistic things. She found herself drawn to simplicity instead. Her room had a single bed, a bedside table with drawers, a wooden cupboard, and simple curtains, covering her room.

Nothing else. Most of it was empty; the walls plain white. It was a stark contrast to the other residents of this mansion, namely, her employees. In a way, it depicted her social standing in the place, but it was also something she had done to herself. Her Master… one of them, namely, Madam Maximus, gave her a decent salary and would happily give her a better room with better furniture if she just asked. But she couldn't be so atrocious as to misuse her kindness. She was happy with what she had. More than happy. She couldn't ask for better Masters to serve.

Leaving aside her room's condition, Laura's mental condition was, in a way, severe.

'Ugh.'

She grimaced as realization now hit her in full force.

She had become her Young Master's slave of her own volition and even offered him a nightly service. She had lowered herself as a sex slave. All to find redemption and also aid her now Master.

She couldn't stop the blush from painting her face a shade of red as she remembered the events after her 'offer of assistance.'

She rubbed her jaw, which felt pained and sore. She had taken something quite big inside her mouth for a prolonged period of time.

Thinking of 'what' she had taken inside her mouth made her squirm as shame filled her mind.

"Ugh."

This time she groaned, as she tried to fight her shame.

The reason for her shame was not what one would initially think.

It's not that she was ashamed of the 'act' itself, per se. She could reason that what she did was out of her duty. Yes, she could call it that.

But what she couldn't explain, and was the main reason for her embarrassment and shame, was that she had liked doing it. She had liked being ordered by her new Master, who was much younger than her in age and who once used to treat her with respect.

The same young master was now old, mature, and charismatic enough that she couldn't stop herself from submitting when he'd confronted her.

Something deep inside her, something she never knew existed, surfaced when she was wallowing in self-loathing and shame from failing as everything she was: a maid, an older sister, an adult, and even a human being.

It manifested the moment she was offered a chance of redemption and an order to serve. She knew at that moment when she heard those words: 'Serve me for the rest of your life.'

She knew exactly what she wanted. She had always wanted to do that. Wanted to serve a Master.

Yes, she was a maid, a head maid at that, and she served the Maximus family. Madam Elizabeth was her official Master and she served her. But it wasn't exactly the kind of servitude she had wanted. Madam Elizabeth and even the rest of the noble recipients of the Mansion treated her as a family of sorts. And they were kind and lenient with her. And while she was truly honored and grateful for that, a small, unnoticed—even by her—part of her was dissatisfied by it.

So, she had unconsciously tried to be as strict and dutiful as she could be, to fulfill her hidden desires. She thought of herself as the kind who liked prim and proper things and that's why she was so rigid and dutiful. But what she hadn't realized, and what she now made painfully made aware of, was that she just wanted to serve. In the most honest and clear way possible, she wanted to 'serve', with everything she'd got.

In a less 'proper', yet clearer way, she was a submissive masochist. She liked the idea of being dominated by a stronger being, serving the said being with everything she'd got and letting the being use her as much as they wanted.

The hidden desire, which manifested inside her just a little while ago, was now visible to her.

She didn't know it to date, but she was actually a pervert, a hidden pervert. One so well hidden that it stayed hidden for who knows how many years. She only discovered this side of her at the age of 28. Nearly 3 decades into her life.

She didn't even try to argue, much less fight, the idea though. She knew it very well now. It was too obvious, too clear. Her feelings told her everything. She was a submissive human who liked it when she was treated as someone lower than a human being; a 'slave' brand suited her tastes the best, in truth.

And now she was one. Only in name, but she certainly was one.

A perverse smile graced her face and her eyes became hazy as she started pondering.

How could she serve her new Master? What should she do to make him happy? What did he desire? What did he desire from her? Would he ask her to serve him more, maybe in 'that' manner too?

She felt her heart tighten in anticipation and felt a strange warmth below her lower stomach as she remembered his annoyed and domineering gaze. She liked it. She didn't know nor acknowledge it at the time, but she liked that gaze very much. It was perfect. But, it could be more perfect. He could be even more domineering. He was kind to her after that confrontation. And she liked that side of him. It helped lessen her heart's burden. But now, when she had found out that he was no longer suffering, she wanted him to be harsher and crueler to her. She wanted him to be angrier at her. She wanted him to "punish" her.

"Nmngh."

A muffled moan leaked from her mouth as she came out of her thoughts and realized her right hand had crept below her stomach and touched a part that she had never touched, at least not in a way she was doing now.

Her other hand covered her mouth, where she could still feel the long and thick, extremely hard yet somehow soft, warm, and twitching thing. No, not 'thing', it was her Master, Alexander's, brilliant dick.

"Mmnn."

Her fingers entered pants and then her underwear, which she had to change since the previous ones had been damped with her juices. Alas, she found herself wet, once again.

'Ugh, what am I doing? This is so indecent. I am acting vulgar.'

She chastised herself, but it had no effect. If anything, it led to her imagining her Master, Alexander saying those things to her with a disgusted yet amused look and it made her even more aroused.

"Aahn."

She failed to cover that moan as her fingers reached her nether region and she started massaging the top of her clit.

It was strange. She had never acted this way. She had never touched herself like that, never felt the need to. But now she desired it. Her pussy was warm and itching and she wanted to relieve it.

She slipped one of her fingers inside as her breathing became ragged and her vision blurred. Her mind went back to imagining the perfect specimen of a male sex organ she had seen for the first time in her life. It was… simply majestic. And she had touched it, not just with her unworthy hands, but with her indecent and filthy mouth.

"Aahn, Master."

She imagined how she struggled to take all of her Master's thick cock inside her mouth, covering it with her saliva. How the reverent object ravaged her lowly mouth and graced her with white sticky fluids, the prime liquid that contained the genetics of her perfect Master. She still had that precious liquid inside her stomach.

If she could receive them inside her womb… no, that would be heresy. How can a lowly being like her receive the perfect sperms of her perfect Master inside her vagina? She was unworthy. She was just a lowly slave. She should be satisfied with the fact that she was even allowed to help her great Master to sate his carnal desires. The cause of which was her friend— no, Lady Olivia.

Her hazy and perverse mind, in its lust, started imagining things she shouldn't.

She imagined Olivia and her Master. Olivia trying to force her desires on him, but her Master sternly stopping her and opening her eyes to the right path. But it wouldn't be perverse if it was just that. He then makes her submit to him and then gives her punishment and the love she desires. They make incestuous love.

And what about her?

Well, she would stay on the sidelines. On the sidelines where she belonged, ready to serve her Master and help him with whatever he desires.

Maybe he would grace her lowly mouth with some of his dick after he sated his older sister's vagina, which, unlike hers, is worthy of someone of his stature. He would sate all of Olivia's desires with his seemingly endless stamina.

"*Haah, Haah.* Master… please…"

He would look at her vulgar and pleading self, who is aroused from seeing the hot scene, with disdain in his cold eyes and then be kind and offer her salvation. He would let her "clean" his dick filled with the love fluids of Lady Olivia. And she would only be allowed to do it in one way. Using her mouth.

"Annhh… My lord… My Master…"

She would lick it clean it with fervor and then if she impressed him enough, maybe he would be kind and bend her and spank her butt.

"Yes…"

She would moan, like a filthy bitch in heat, as she would receive more of such spanks.

"Punish me, my lord. I'm an indecent wench. I need to be set straight. Punish me harder."

She would beg of him. And he would magnanimously agree and then spank her lowly ass harder.

"Yes!"

She would moan with pleasure and pain. He would laugh at her in disdain.

"What a filthy bitch you are, Laura. You deserve more punishment."

"Yes, Master. Punish me!"

He would grab her hair, turn her back forcefully and then shove the entire length of his dick inside her unprepared mouth.

He would choke her, but she wouldn't fight. Because it would feel great to be punished and dominated that way.

"Fuck!"

For the first time in her life, Laura swore as she felt something build inside her lower stomach, and then she released it all with a jerk of her body as her fingers finally stopped their furious movements, mimicking in vein the real deal which she would never get to experience because she was not worthy of having sex with her Master. And even thinking of doing it with someone else would be a crime she would die before committing.

She laid on her bed, panting, as she brought back her hand and covered her face which them.

As the post-nut clarity hit her, clearing her mushy and foggy brain a bit, she realized her blunder.

"Agh, what did I just do?! So vulgar! I'm a disgusting woman!"

To think she would imagine something like that, and include her friend Olivia in it too! How indecent! She was a pervert. She deserved punishment!

Laura had a sleepless night where she felt guilty and then desired to be punished for her crimes, but it instead made her aroused thinking of her Master punishing her in lewd ways, only to feel guilty again for imagining that. It had turned into a vicious cycle which she suffered the rest of the remaining night.

[~Flashback ends~]

***

"Ugh."

She smacked her face, trying to rid her of those memories. How much she wanted to dig a hole and then live inside it after doing something like that, only she knew.

Her face felt warmer than usual.

"Um, is everything alright, Laura?"

She opened her eyes to notice one of the maids looking at her with confusion and worry. She was one of the maids from the older generation when her mother was the head maid. Most of the maids were younger though.

'Ah.'

She had, while being overwhelmed by her memories, dropped her guard, and her emotions leaked on her face. And she was in the presence of some of the maids under her.

She immediately put back her typical stoic face as she looked at the maid.

"No, I just had a… poor sleep. Nothing to worry about. You can go back to your work, Mrs. Vyse."

"Yes, ma'am."

The maid replied playfully before going back to her chore. Everyone was aware of how Laura was, so nobody minded her strict attitude. Laura took the chance to leave the scene.

Now in an empty hallway, she could take a moment to collect herself.

'Keep it together, Laura. Don't act so foolishly. You're the maid of the proud Marquis house. You mustn't act improperly.'

She somehow managed to collect herself and go through the day and her chores, but occasionally, she would have to take a break and calm down her strange emotions. Her hardest time was during breakfast when her Master, Alex was present. She felt strangely stiff around him.

Luckily, she'd found an appropriate excuse and left the premises. It was difficult to be in the presence of her Master and maintain her stoic façade. Not when her other self— she had now started calling her true self that, trying to keep it separated from her "normal" self— wanted to act subservient to him. To ask for his needs and maybe ask for punishment.

***