XLV ||| December 25th of 2021 (II)

From: A.LF

<alf.weeknd@gmail.com >

To: P.BG

<pbg.prada@gmail.com >

Sent: Saturday, 25 Dec 2021, 02:10

Subject: about Christmas🎄

Marry Christmas, P darling 💚

I didn't regret one bit, I was just mortified to be the first one to speak, after being turned off. I respect it, but I was absolutely embarrassed, and just thinking about it makes me blush like a dumbarse. No, I do not regret it and I did not do it out of nowhere, even less drunk, darling. Not at all.

Even if nothing happens, I meant it and I still do. I thought about you, almost every day, but I didn't want to press you, I didn't want to interrupt your grieving time, especially because I know how it's hard to be around anyone when we're like this. So, I decided to not touch the matter of my confession, I don't want to make you feel bad about it, you're already going through a lot, I can't afford to make it worse for you as your best mate, because I know you wouldn't do so if our roles were reversed.

You know what I remembered? That now I got two tries to try guessing which song from the Starboy album reminds you of me, since I didn't guess it last Christmas. Two years ago you told me it wasn't Party Monster when I asked you, so, here's my 1st guess of 2021: Six Feet Under.

Don't worry, darling, I didn't get COVID, I'm extra careful about this. My mom did get it back in August little after we moved back to England, but it wasn't that bad and she was alright days after the scare, my baby sister got it twice and in none of those times she got symptoms, so, safe as well. They were actually happy that we moved back, I think they missed England, as much as I did. The US is great in the beginning but then it ain't anymore, now I think my sister will not want to go to university there anymore, she's been talking about Oxford, Cambridge, or Imperial College London.

She broke up with her boyfriend during the early moments of the pandemic, which made me happy, I won't lie, I wasn't liking the boy. Then she stayed single until early November, last month, when she began to date the youngest son of the neighbor. My mom asked me to only stay with her until my sister leaves for university in half a year, given how she jumped a year, and then she told me to stop worrying so much about her, because she wants to travel around the world for a while, and then I'll live on my own.

I've already began haunting for a good place downtown, and I find one that suits my tastes, so, I'll be living alone next year. It'll be weird, since I got overprotective of mom and my sister, like I told you, but it'll be good, to give all of us some time alone. I doubt they will learn how to cook though, and when they come around town, they will be roaming me for some good homemade food, which I'm be joyful to make, because I adore cooking as a hobby.

I'm not in sports anymore, I kind of lost the flame during the pandemic, but I remained on the gym, I still love the sport for fun. The problem was that it was starting to feel like a duty and I didn't want to live as an athlete, I've always had my eyes set elsewhere, which was why my degree in university had nothing to do with sports, and it was focused on the work area I've always envisioned for myself. You would probably think it's funny if you knew what it was, but well, it is what it is.

Speaking of work, you won't believe what happened to me in September, little after I settled back in the UK with the girls. I'm still shocked.

I hope your life will become better, and that you don't go so hard on yourself for things out of your control, P. You are special to me, you deserve the world. And I hope you conquer it, even if not with me.

Yours,

- A ❤️